Twins, lah?

Don't Flush Daddy

2009-04-30T20:50:00.003+08:00

Just a quick post about a couple of random funny moments...I'm trying to laugh after a rough day of regression. I think the boys are understanding that major changes are afoot. We've told them we're moving soon, but they haven't seen the new place yet. We're taking them tomorrow afternoon. They also know that we are going to the U.S. in two weeks, and of course they notice my growing belly. We've had more than the usual share of bad behavior from these two - tantrums, sassy back-talk, fighting, spitting, not listening. You know, three-year-old acting up stuff, just more of it. Liam has also had a few pee accidents. So, in an effort to forget all that, here are the funnies:

The boys play hide-and-seek with Sean upstairs before bath time. Sean is pretty creative with his limited hiding place options in our room, the boys' room, and the guest room. G and L, on the other hand, will tell you where they are going to hide on their way, and/or come out giggling just as Sean finishes counting. They did figure out a good hiding place in the sink cabinet in their bathroom. Liam calls this the "bathroom box" and loves to sit in there now. Unfortunately, he peed inside there this morning. Not funny. What is hilarious, though, is that while looking for Sean one night, Liam actually lifted the guest bathroom toilet seat to see if he was hiding in the toilet. I laughed for quite some time, and Sean joined in after the boys found him in the shower.

Liam and Graeme were playing with their Mega blocks a few weeks ago, and Liam pulled out one of the two eyeballs in the set. The eyeballs are included so kids can make animals, monsters, etc. out of the blocks. Liam stuck the eyeball on top of a tall tower and said, "I'm the eyeball master, and Graeme is a pair of pale green pants". Now that is an interesting statement. We've been reading a collection of Dr. Seuss stories which includes a story called "What Was I Scared Of?", in which a pair of pale green pants is a character. I had never heard of this story until we were given the story collection, but I can say it's definitely different and one of my favorites now. Obviously it made an impression on Liam. Liam has continued his use of "master" also. G and L received a game called Pop-Up Pirate for their birthday, in which each player sticks plastic swords into a barrel containing a pirate. One sword will trigger the pirate to pop out of the barrel, and the sword slot changes with every game. The first day we played the game (many, many times), Liam won the vast majority of the games. After noting that he was the one winning almost all the time, Liam correctly named himself the "pirate master".

Birthday post coming in a few days - I'm busy going through my house to organize and see what I can give away before the move, planning what I'm packing for our long trip, and filing insurance claims. Yay! Random aside: I'm feeling the baby move now. Non-sarcastic yay!

Hong Kong Phooey

2009-04-22T19:44:00.062+08:00

No, we didn't see HK Phooey on our trip (especially since he's a Hanna-Barbera character), but we did see Goofy and Chip 'n' Dale in the Hong Kong Disney Hollywood Hotel lobby. Liam grabbed my leg tightly and held on while I walked as fast as I could past them. He continues his fear of adults wearing costumes with masks which cover their heads. Therefore, we didn't seek out Mickey or any other characters when we went to the actual theme park the next day.

More on Disney later. I'll start from the beginning of our trip. We arrived in Hong Kong around lunchtime on a Thursday after the three and a half hour plane trip (the boys were mostly good), and the first thing I noticed was the fog. Then Sean corrected me - it was smog, not fog. He had warned me about the pollution, but I really had no concept until I saw it for myself. Sean also said that it has been much worse than it was the day we landed, so I am so relieved that we didn't move there. I think the boys would have asthma by now, especially since Sean has a history of exercise-induced asthma. I appreciate the cleanliness and greenery of Singapore even more after this trip.

We didn't make it to the hotel in the Causeway Bay area until almost 2 pm, and the boys were over-tired, so they wouldn't nap. While checking in, we discovered than the "adjoining rooms" did not have a shared door between them. They were just next to each other instead. One room had a double bed, and the other had two twin beds and a love seat-sized futon which folded out flat on the floor. Sean took one for the team and said he would stay in the twin room with the boys, so I got the other room to myself. We hung out in the boys' room for an hour, then walked across the street to a mall with tons of high-end stores, and maybe two stores for kids. I've been spoiled by the malls in Singapore - many have a floor devoted to kids' stores and several coin-operated rides. We ended up going up and down the elevator and escalators for a few minutes, then decided to go to Pizza Hut in our hotel for an early dinner since we were all wiped out. Sean had warned me that most pizza in HK is made with thousand island dressing (!!!) instead of tomato sauce, so we made sure to order a tomato sauce base on our pizza.

Despite being exhausted, Graeme and Liam ate fairly well - it was pizza, after all - and we returned to the room for bathtime. After reading to the boys, I went back to "my" room and took a long, warm shower. I really enjoyed this because it's something I can't do in Singapore. The water heaters here are tiny and for each individual bathroom, so we're always doing Navy showers where you turn on the water to get wet, turn it off to shampoo, turn it on to rinse, off to soap the body, on to rinse, etc. I must say that even though I make an effort to lessen my impact on the environment, I will be taking some long showers when we visit the U.S. in three weeks.

The next morning we ate breakfast at the hotel, choosing the "western" option. We then took a taxi to Sean's office. Several ladies on his team have been wanting to meet the boys (and maybe me too) , so we hung out in Sean's office and let everyone come to us. The boys had fun playing with Daddy's phone by pretending to make calls to their grandparents, trying to erase notes on the dry-erase board, going through files, typing on Daddy's laptop, and playing with the toys Sean's generous coworkers gave them for Easter. See the cute pics below of the boys on those phone calls. It was nice to see where Sean works and put faces with the names of his great HK team. One of his coworkers said Graeme was like Sean because G talks a lot. She is very perceptive. I must admit, though, that I think Graeme's loquaciousness is due to both Rometo genes and DeCastro genes, so his mouth is not just from Sean. He did get that red hair from my Dad's sister Melinda, after all - love you Aunt M!

Nana, are you there?

Hi Grandma, I'm working!

After the office visit, we took another taxi down to the harborfront area of Kowloon. We decided to ride the ferry across to HK island once we saw that the ride was only seven minutes long. The ferry terminal was next to the cruise ship terminal, and the boys enjoyed checking out the huge white ship docked there. Graeme and Liam loved the ferry ride. Once we reached the other side, we watched boats in the busy harbor from the ferry terminal viewing deck. We also discovered that HK has at least one Subway sandwich place, located in the ferry terminal building of all places, so we bought sandwiches to take back to the hotel to eat since we were all getting tired. The boys napped, but not for as long I hoped. Despite some initial grumpiness, we decided to continue with our plan to visit Ocean Park on the south side of HK island.

Posing with the tallest building in HK being built in the background

Ocean Park was a bit strange to me. I'm used to the amusement parks and theme parks of the U.S. (huge and generally well-run, with usually exciting rides and lots to do), and the world-class zoo and bird park of Singapore. From Ocean Park's website, it appeared to be an amusement park with animal exhibits, including pandas on loan from mainland China and several marine exhibits. Well, the rides were kind of like those of Six Flags in the late '70s/early '80s when all it had was the Scream Machine, the mine train, and a bunch of carnival games. There was construction going on for new exhibits, but all in all, the overall impression to me was kind of shabby except for the nice panda area. Luckily, since the boys were only almost three, they really didn't need anything fancier than the panda exhibit, the kids' playground, the carousel, the aquarium, and some fun carnival games. There were other rides, but they weren't age-appropriate. L and G especially enjoyed the remote control boats, the remote control cars, and the water gun games in which they shot pirates or put out fires. I think they could have played these games all afternoon if we let them. We finished up our visit with a McDonald's dinner and a unique cable car ride over a mountain to get back to the entrance. There was a thankfully brief moment when the ride stopped because of wind while we were dangling high above the rocks next to the water. Sean and I weren't too pleased until the ride started again, but the boys were unfazed. Ah, to be young and unafraid, except of pictures of toothy sharks in your new pop-up book.

Hosing down the pirates

Graeme and Daddy on the cable car

Liam gives us a big smile

We took a taxi back to our original hotel to get our bags, and then took another taxi to the Disney Hollywood Hotel. I welcomed the whole Disney experience after staying in the crowded, huge, city of skyscrapers on the main island - what can I say, I'm a child of the 'burbs. Two bellhops practiced tripped over themselves to help us get all of our stuff out of the tiny taxi. There is certainly something to be said for Disney service. You pay for it, but sometimes it's worth it.

We checked out our room, had our luggage delivered, and set out for the hotel parking lot. The front desk person said the fireworks from the theme park are visible from the parking lot, so we decided to check out the show since the boys were already awake. At 8 pm on the dot, the fireworks started. G and L were initially afraid of the loud noise, but then they got used to it and simply loved watching the fireworks. The boys were clapping, laughing, and smiling huge smiles. It was a true pleasure to watch them. They had never seen fireworks before since they usually go to bed around 7 or 7:30 pm. Liam talked about fireworks for several days after our return to Singapore.

Our room had two double beds, so Sean and I each took one and slept with one child. We alternated kids the next night so both boys could sleep with each of us once. Liam slept with me first. No one fell asleep until after 9 pm. Perhaps he was still keyed up because of the fireworks, but Liam tossed and turned all night, though he usually sleeps heavily. We both woke up needing a lot more rest than we got, but we survived. The park didn't open until 10:30 that morning, and knowing the boys would need an early nap, we decided to eat breakfast, and then just hang out at the hotel until after the nap. We explored the grounds, played on a playground, chased butterflies, posed for pictures with a cool vintage car, and walked along the waterfront to the other Disney hotel. There we had fun running through the courtyard maze and looking at a cool garden-themed mural with several Disney characters. Lunch was next, and then the nap.

Though they had been behind in sleep for a couple of days, the boys only napped for an hour. We took a shuttle bus to the theme park hoping for good behavior despite tired eyes. After walking through the entrance, we saw a vintage UPS package car (UPS is a park sponsor) and Sean took a couple of pictures of the boys driving it. It was snack time, so we bought Mickey Mouse-shaped ice cream bars for everyone, and we gobbled them up. We decided to head to Tomorrowland first, and there we got in line for the Orbitron. This a ride like Dumbo but with space ships instead of elephants. We rode in one car with Graeme at the controls in the front seat with Sean, and me and Liam in the back seat. The boys loved this ride. Graeme left us up high in the air instead of moving the ship up and down. Neither Sean nor I were surprised. Next we decided to get in line for the Buzz Lightyear ride. On this ride, each person gets their own hand-held gun to shoot at targets while moving along the track in a "space ship" car. G and L loved this one too, and Mommy and Daddy had some old-fashioned video game fun. There was a drive-your-own car ride in Tomorrowland also, but the line was 45 minutes long, so we decided to skip that as well as Space Mountain.

Mickey surfs in a fountain outside the park entrance

The boys drive Mommy in the UPS package car

Next we headed to Fantasyland. The boys were getting slightly grumpy by this point. Sean wanted to take them on the teacups, so I told him I would take some pictures and video while they rode. Sean says G & L were quite put-out at having to wait (though no line we waited in was longer than 20 minutes), but then they had a great time on the ride. They were screaming and laughing the whole time. We checked out Small World next, and waited less than ten minutes to board our boat. The boys stared at the singing, dancing animated children and seemed to enjoy it, though not as much as the teacups. I think they were excited to ride in a boat and didn't really care what they were seeing. After a quick carousel ride, we walked over to check out the Jungle Cruise line, but found it to be too long to wait in with two hungry kids. We decided to go back to Fantasyland, grab a bite to eat, and ride the Winnie-the-Pooh ride before heading home. At this point, G & L were very grumpy, so we took the shuttle back to the hotel, gave them a quick shower, and hit the sheets. Liam asked to see the fireworks again before falling asleep, but mean Mommy said that he needed to sleep since we had to wake up early Sunday to catch our flight back to Singapore. He actually accepted the "no" fairly well, and we fell asleep shortly thereafter.

Teacups!

Two tired boys posing with Mickey's statue before we left the hotel on Sunday

The next morning we woke up just after six am, ate a small breakfast, and took a taxi to the airport. The boys played in a children's play area in the terminal before we boarded the flight. The flight was not as pleasant as the flight up to HK, and there were a couple of tantrums, but that was to be expected since the boys (and we) were worn out. It was good practice for the loooonnng flight to the U.S. that we'll be taking on May 15th. We arrived at the house, ate a small lunch, played a bit, ate a small dinner, and went to bed early.

So there you have it - our trip to HK was definitely exciting and fun, though quite tiring for pregnant me, usually tired Sean, and two small boys off their schedule. We're glad we went, as this is the last trip we'll take by ourselves as a family of four.

Next I'll write about L & G's birthday party, and then I'll be taking another break until we arrive in the U.S. on May 16th. We're moving locally about a mile down the street, and the movers come to pack us on May 11th. The physical move won't take place until May 26th after Sean has returned to Singapore, while the boys and I are in Texas. I'll be spending the next two weeks getting rid of stuff before the move and packing for our trip. We'll send out new Singapore address information soon.

Eye of Newt

2009-04-21T19:19:00.003+08:00

So, the main reason I haven't blogged in forever is because I'm pregnant. I know, I know, not much of an excuse, so I'll explain. Essentially, when the boys nap , I try to nap or at least lie down. I also try to go to sleep early at night, because every night since I've gotten pregnant, I've woken up at least twice during the night or early morning. I'm either needing to use the bathroom, drink, or eat. It's similar to my twin pregnancy, but the symptoms are not quite as severe. I've been nauseous since the sixth week, and this unfortunately continues now in my 17th week. Luckily I haven't actually vomited like with the twins, but I've come close a few times. Between the exhaustion from not sleeping well and feeling gross pretty much all the time, I haven't been up to writing. Plus, my writing time was usually during nap time in the past.

Anyway, I'm back for a few entries. We had an active March and April (so far), and May promises to be very exciting as we prepare for our first trip back to the U.S. in 18 months. We leave Singapore on May 15, and the boys and I will be in the states for 7 weeks. Sean will have to return to Singapore and Hong Kong for a few weeks, but then he'll come back to the U.S. June 20 and stay until we leave on July 10. Family, friends, Target, Chick-fil-a, just about any half-way decent Tex-mex or Mexican restaurant (even Taco Bell, dare I say), and malls with reasonably-priced shoes and clothing, here we come!!! I can't wait to actually hug family members, park in huge parking lots with tons of room between the spaces, use a drive-through ATM, and watch the boys run and play in large backyards. We're going to have a blast once we get over the jet lag.

Back to the pregnancy: I'm due October 5, and I've had a few ultrasounds so far. The OB/GYNs here in Singapore do ultrasounds themselves at almost every appointment. We know that there's only one baby, the baby's growth is fine, and the baby is probably a boy based on the ultrasound I had Monday. We should know more at the next visit on May 13, which is a high-powered ultrasound to look at the baby's development.

Why the title? A good friend of ours suggested (in jest, at least I hope) that the name Newt would work for a boy or a girl. I told him that we would call the baby Newt until birth since we were looking for an in-utero nickname. After birth, forget it.

Entries on our trip to Hong Kong and the boys' third birthday party to follow, I promise.

Crazy, But That's How it Goes

2009-02-06T16:51:00.003+08:00

Yesterday Liam displayed his lovable strangeness. All day long, he called everyone honey, except he pronounced it "hun-ee" in his little sweet voice. "No, hun-ee, we're going to draw now, not read", he said to Graeme at one point. "Please get the markers for me, hun-ee", he said to me.

After his shower in the morning, Liam was wearing his hooded towel when Graeme spotted a piece of lint on Liam's face. Liam did not know it was there, because when Graeme pointed to his face and asked him, "What's that?", Liam removed the towel, touched the top of his head, and said in a serious voice, "It's a head, Graeme, a head". Not "my head"; "a head". I couldn't keep myself from laughing out loud.

That incident was nothing compared to his pre-nap time shenanigans. While trying not to fall asleep, Liam got up on all fours with his butt facing me, and slapped his butt like a rap video vixen while looking at me with a smile. He then sat on his usually beloved stuffed dog Snug and said, "Poot, poot!" which needs no explanation regarding his meaning. Immediately thereafter, Liam laid on top of Snug, said "Bagel, bagel!", and then grabbed Snug's paw and made Snug tap out. He then laughed, laid back on his pillow while hugging Snug, and decided to calm down. I closed my wide-open mouth and left the room before cracking up.

As if that wasn't enough, the incident that made me really laugh occurred after nap time. We were downstairs in the basement, and I forgot to bring the toddler potty seat down with us. When Liam had to go to the bathroom, I put the stool in front of the potty and told him to climb on. He has been climbing onto the regular toilet seat by himself for a few weeks if the toddler potty seat is not around, so I expected no problems this time. Even though he looked directly at the toilet before climbing up, he got up on the stool, turned around, and sat down as though the toddler seat was on. Meaning, he fell in. His lower legs, arms, and head were sticking out, and he started flailing around and crying. I picked him up and hugged him, noticed that his butt was wet from toilet water, and then burst out laughing, loudly. I just couldn't control myself. Liam finally recovered and began laughing too. After he peed without falling in, he returned to the playroom and had a tea party with his rubber dinosaurs and stuffed pink elephant.

The final funny of the day was actually said by Graeme, but he was responding to my scolding of Liam, so it counts as a goofy moment involving Liam. After the tea party, Liam decided to throw plastic food across the playroom, and I told him to shape up or he'd get a long time-out. Graeme poked his head out of the cool egg chair from Ikea where he was hiding, and said, "Hey, my brother's being bad!", as though I hadn't noticed. I think he was trying to point out that the offender was Liam without any involvement from Graeme at all.

I was waiting for something else to happen at dinner or thereafter, but I guess the craziness died down after 5 pm. I'm glad I made notes of these incidents so I could remember everything. I think I'll start carrying around a tiny notebook or Post-its, just in case. I'm sure the boys will enjoy reading about themselves when they're older - ha! In the meantime, the rest of us can have a few laughs.

Breakfast food

2009-02-03T14:26:00.003+08:00

Years ago a coworker with a 2 year-old boy warned me about the comedy that is life with toddlers. She mentioned that her son could be difficult, but that mostly he was funny. She said she just couldn't believe the hilarious stuff that came out of his mouth sometimes. My favorite story was about how he once stood at the top of the stairs, looked down at his father over his shoulder, mooned him, and said, "Daddy! Look at my hiney!". I laughed for quite some time at that one, and thought about how some day I would have a comedienne of my own. Little did I know that I'd get two...

Graeme and Liam have been tackling and wrestling each other a lot lately. They're definitely all boy, and I'm not even talking about their enormous appetites (almost-three growth spurt?). A couple of weeks ago one of them was lying on top of the other one, both facing the floor, when Graeme yelled, "Bagel!". Liam promptly responded with "Bagel!". I figured it was just an isolated bizarre moment, but I was wrong. Ever since then, whenever one of them ends up on top of the other, they say bagel while grinning. And when Graeme is hopping on pop, he yells bagel too. Sometimes the bageling is unwanted, so we taught them to tap out when one has had enough. They say, "tap, tap", and hit whatever surface they're on like little wrestlers. Unbelievably, the other brother acknowledges the taps and gets up.

I've asked them several times, "Why bagel?", but they don't understand the meaning of "why", so it's a pointless question. The only thing I can come up with to explain this is maybe they have observed me remove a frozen bagel from the package, and saw that the pre-sliced bagels we buy have a top and a bottom. They usually see only halves of bagels on their plates. Who knows the true reason for bagel - not me. Maybe they can explain as they get older.

The funniest use of bagel was while were watching the Super Bowl, and Graeme used bageling to mean tackling. Too bad I only heard about it later from Sean instead of hearing it first-hand. They even recognize the bagel technique when they see it. I showed them the picture below of themselves, and they immediately said, "Bagel!".

We do a good bit of webcamming with the grandparents, and Graeme decided to show his Micrograeme colors with Grandma Arlene. He needed to go use the bathroom, and on his way out, he told her to pause until he returned. He literally meant for her to stop talking and freeze, just like pausing a video, which we sometimes do if one of them needs to leave the room. Arlene played along and froze, then resumed talking once Graeme was out of earshot. I warned her as he was returning, and she froze patiently until Graeme told her she could talk again. Definitely a micro moment.

About a year ago, we tried out a new indoor play place called Fidgets. Liam and Graeme weren't two yet, and they were too small and uncoordinated for the large "big kids" play area, but too big for the toddler area. We decided to try again when it rained recently, and the G & L had a great time. They are able to do everything in the huge big kids area. They loved the super slide, which is a side-by-side steep slide that gets them going really fast. They also enjoyed climbing inside a bubble-shaped area with a steering wheel which Graeme deemed the helicopter. Here's a few pics of the fun:

Graeme inside the helicopter

Liam loves the super slide

Finally, both Liam and Graeme are pushing my limits and almost constantly testing, testing, testing. These incidents result in several time outs during some days. On the way to the time out area recently, Graeme mumbled, "I'm terrific", as though he was trying to convince himself it was true. The children yell this at the end of My Gym class, and I'd never heard him say it outside of class. It was amusing but a little heartbreaking too. My little guy is funny, and he is terrific, even when he's being a bad leprechaun.

For Uncle J

2009-01-18T13:22:00.009+08:00

A few weeks ago, friend remarked to Sean about the conspicuous lack of posting here at Twins, Lah? I believe his words were something along the lines of, "It's not a blog unless you actually write". Well, he's correct, so here goes.

What is my excuse for not writing for over two months? First I had to complete my continuing education required for my pharmacist license renewal. This took longer than I anticipated, and by the time I was done in the beginning of December, my mom was about to arrive for a two and a half week visit. Just before my mom got here, my maid did something stupid while we were out of the house and lied three times about it, causing me to no longer trust her. I let her go, and then my mom got here, followed shortly thereafter by my stepdad. We stayed very busy running around Singapore and doing the Christmas thing, while I was looking for a new maid. I found one, but she couldn't start until the 31st, one day before our guests left. A few days before that, I started injecting powerful hormonal medicines for IVF which made me feel like I had PMS times 10 (yes, we're trying for a third, and last, child). Alas, I was not a very nice person when provoked, but I did try to be decent.

By the end of December, I had super-PMS, several blood draws and ultrasound appointments, a new maid to train, and two crazy toddlers who had not been sleeping well due to the excitement of grandparents visiting as well as all of the fun and spoils of Christmas. I had egg retrieval on January 9th, which is minor outpatient surgery, followed by embryo transfer on the 12th (one transferred, three frozen - I've already got one set of twins, thanks). I'm now on different hormonal meds, and I don't feel quite as bad as before, though still not great. We then had friends visit from January 13th through the 16th.

Oh yeah, in the midst of all of this, I became a Twilight fan. The movie was opening here the middle of December, so I decided I wanted to start reading to see what all the fuss was about. It turns out the books are not great literature by any means, and are targeted toward teenage girls, but I became hooked on the story. I had to know what happened, so I read all four books, plus the author's excerpt of the first book written from the vampire's point of view, and then saw the movie. So yes, I have to admit, I could have blogged instead of reading/watching/lurking on fan websites and IMDB, but I do think that my strange Twilight "distraction" has helped me with the stress of the past month.

Okay, enough about me. I know you're really here for news about the boys. Graeme and Liam continue to be an amazing mixture of hilarity, energy, strength, impatience, whininess (okay, that's not amazing nor wonderful), intelligence, and cuteness. Most of time they're great, but when they're tired, they will whine and occasionally pitch fits that will make me think they'll sprout horns any second. Sounds like 2 & 3/4-year-old kids, right? Yes, they will be three in three months! It's hard for me to believe.

I'll finish for now with a few anecdotes and mispronunciations:

I read a Batman story to the boys a few weeks ago, and soon thereafter, Liam would spontaneously say, "I'm Datman!". Sean and I found this particularly hilarious because the moving company we used in Singapore, KC Dat, has a handyman division called Datman. We've used a Datman handyman twice to hang artwork because the concrete walls in our home are a bit resistant to nails and screws. Whenever Liam says that he's Datman, we both think that he needs to pull out his huge drill-powerful-enough-for-concrete and start hangin'.

The boys are sometimes allowed to watch a video when they have been behaving well. Liam calls the DVDs "dideos", which always brings a smile to my face. His cute little voice just gets to me - "I get to watch the space shuttle dideo!", or "I want to watch the Huckle and Lowly dideo today!" They are big Richard Scarry fans now, just like I was when I was little. They have many of his books, and I somehow managed to find six videos of his material here at the local Toys R Us, and for a reasonable price for once. These are among their favorite Christmas gifts.

And now, the best. A couple of nights ago during bath time, Graeme looked at me and said, "I'm big, and you're fat!". Now, I was feeling bloated from the medicines I've been on, but I really didn't think I was that big. Somehow I kept a straight face and told him that it wasn't nice to call people fat, even if they were. I figured it's never too early to try to prevent the embarrassing comments that my kids will likely yell when we're trapped in the grocery store checkout line in the future ("Look at that huge fat lady, mommy!", or some such). Sean was present for the comment, and he managed to not laugh too, though he did crack a smile which Graeme could not see. Is there an explanation for the comment, you ask? I have been telling the boys that they are becoming big boys, so I know where the first part came from. As for the second part, I'm hoping that Graeme overheard me telling Sean that I feel fat from all the meds. Otherwise, he would be a bad little leprechaun, wouldn't he?

Happy Birthday to Mommy

2009-01-04T15:09:00.006+08:00

For those that know, today is Tiffany's XX birthday. I won't tell what the XX is for, but it is a milestone less than 40... We love her more every year any way. We have to because we get harder to put up with.

The boys and I composed this musical tribute to what a wonderful wife and mommy we have. Take a listen and then I will share the caveats.

Okay this was harder than it looks and I know it looks rough. One thing is for certain. The boys could use a better vocal coach and video editor. Note the following:

1. Catching them right after a nap may not have been ideal.

2. There was some coercion involving watching videos afterward involved.

3. Yes, I should have combed their hair. And changed their shirts.

4. Less than three-year-olds are not the most cooperative vocalists.

5. Did you hear Graeme wander off and start singing to the "air con"? That's what they call air conditioning over here.

6. The "pfffff" at the end is the boys attempting to blow out candles. They don't quite get it yet. They are convinced we have friends coming over for cake tonight.

7. I am not a professional video editor and I had exactly the length of "The Big Plane Trip" DVD run time to complete this project.

So Many Traffic Signs, So Little Time

2008-10-28T12:56:00.002+08:00

This is a quick post to explain why there are no pictures on the blog yet. Sean and I are taking the test for our Singapore driver's licenses on Thursday afternoon. It's a computerized test which actually requires studying, something I need to resume in a few minutes.

We've been to three Halloween parties in four days, the last of which I hosted this morning for the AWA playgroup. I'll be posting pictures hopefully this weekend or the beginning of next week. We'll be trick-or-treating on Friday near Singapore American School where many Americans live - they actually start around 4:30 or so, unlike the rest of Singapore which waits until it gets dark at 7:30. Since the boys are usually in bed by then, we'll be heading up north to nab some candy while it's still daylight, then turn the lights off here when we get home. On Saturday we're attending a rocket-themed birthday party for our three-year-old twin Aussie friends. If the boys don't expire from pleasure, I'll have some pics of that party too.

Three quick moments of random craziness:

Sean belched at the table a couple of days ago and promptly said "Excuse me" before he could get the evil eye I inherited from my Nana. Liam then pretended to belch and excused himself repeatedly for a minute or two. Weird, but polite.

I've been trying to teach the boys to sneeze into their bent elbows instead of all over the place or into their hands. So far they've manage to sneeze on their inner wrists, like they're smelling perfume they've just applied. They then say, "I sneezed on my elbow!". Looks like we've got to review a few body parts.

Finally, a few minutes ago, Liam fell asleep for his nap before Graeme. I thought Graeme was asleep, but when I looked in on them, Graeme was sitting in Liam's bed, kissing the bottom of Liam's foot. You read that correctly. Liam was facedown with one knee bent and his foot up in the air in Graeme's hands, and Graeme was kissing Liam's foot! Sorry, I just don't know if I believe it either, and I actually saw it. My children are bizarre.

Same Old Song and Dance

2008-10-22T19:57:00.005+08:00

Good news: Both Liam and Graeme have been accident-free for several days, excluding night-time issues. Hopefully I haven't jinxed myself by putting that in writing.

Bad news: Night-time issues. For the past three nights, Liam has peed while sleeping and hasn't woken up. He wakes up in the morning reeking of urine, so I've had to shower him off before breakfast. I think he's sleeping so soundly because he's catching up on his lost sleep from the previous three weeks.

Graeme got up two nights in a row to pee (waking me up first) , and woke up the following mornings with a dry bed - yay! Unfortunately he peed in his bed last night, then rubbed his urine-soaked pajama top on my sheets when he woke me to tell me about it. There's been a lot of extra laundry lately, and I still haven't slept through the night (over a month now). Sean is getting to sleep through the night this week only because he's in Shanghai. Also, Graeme is stuck on waking up between 5:30 and 6:00 am now. This too shall pass, I tell myself, as I struggle to stay awake each afternoon around 3 pm when the exhaustion hits. Coke Light (Diet Coke to Americans) has again become my friend.

Random stuff:

Sean opened a book on rockets and spaceships the other night at bedtime, preparing to read, but waiting for Liam to finish in the bathroom. Graeme, with the impatience of a toddler, pointed to the words on the page and said, "Talk about that, Daddy!" in his best Micro voice. He obviously wasn't content just looking at the pictures for a couple of minutes.

Liam now makes anything into a rocket which he will then fly around the house making a rocket/blast-off noise. Examples include forks or spoons during lunch or dinner, the drain plug to the bathtub, the wooden stick used to play his frog instrument, his fiddlesticks during Kindermusik class, and his Lego Duplo rockets that he builds himself. Future astronaut? Maybe, if he turns into a math and science geek like his mom was in school.

Both Liam and Graeme now see imaginary animals. Liam started this a few weeks ago when he first talked about a peacock being in his room. This past weekend, the boys were talking to a peacock apparently hiding behind Sean's nightstand. There's a peacock in their Elmo video on wild animals, and a peacock in the Tails book. I guess that's where Liam got the idea, which he has shared with Graeme. Liam has also had an imaginary dog sitting next to his chair while he ate. Whatever works, I say.

A little girl fell down and bit her lip at playgroup on Tuesday, and her mom took her into the bathroom to wipe off the small drop of blood. Graeme was very concerned about her, and he asked me, "Is she okay?" several times. It's good to know that he's empathetic to others besides Liam and me. Liam, who is usually concerned about this type of thing, was instead focused on a kid-sized pretend electric guitar. He put the strap around his body and said, "I have a guitar!" about twenty times. Rock star or astronaut? Here's hoping for the latter.

The boys turned 2 and 1/2 on the 17th. It's hard to believe that these funny little people were my tiny babies not so long ago. I can't wait to see and hear what's next with them. Now, if they would just sleep...

Feels Like the First Time

2008-10-03T12:51:00.007+08:00

The first time we were sleep-deprived by our children, that is. We've been woken up in the middle of the night by one or both boys for three long weeks now. They usually don't cry - they just appear standing next to the bed quietly or with a whine of "hug, hug". Graeme will go back to sleep almost immediately, but Liam needs to be held for a few minutes or wants one of us to sit next to his bed.

I think it's a combination of their second molars coming in and the normally desired effects of potty training, meaning perhaps they are becoming sensitive to the need to pee even in their sleep, so they're waking up. It's hard to determine what is causing the boys to wake up without them telling us anything. We've asked if they are hurting, but get a negative response. Sean and I have decided to ask whoever wakes up tonight if he wants medicine (maybe he'll respond if it's worded this way) or if he wants to pee (bladder sensitivity). We'll see what happens. At this rate, I may be removing the night diapers sooner than I planned and teaching them to go to the bathroom and then back to bed. Wish me luck on that one!

On the potty training front, Graeme is pretty much completely trained. Liam has resisted pooping in the toilet lately, though he did it early on during the first few days of training. He finally pooped in the big toilet yesterday, but then pooped on the floor an hour later while clearly having some GI issues. It was not pretty. Liam sometimes still has pee accidents too, but I think it may be due to tiredness. However, both boys have remained accident-free while in public, though, for which I am grateful. I'm pleased with their progress. Now if they'll just sleep....

Random cute or funny things from the past week:

When Graeme was putting on new pajamas with fitted cuffs on the ankles, his feet got stuck inside the ribbing. He asked very seriously, "Where are my feet?", as though they disappeared for good.

On our way out of the neighborhood to go to My Gym yesterday, three domestic helpers were walking veeerrrry slowly across the neighborhood entrance way. Usually when I see people taking their sweet time (yes, I'm southern), I will mutter something under my breath like, "Does anyone over here know what hustle means?". However, I said nothing this time. Instead, without any prompting from me, Liam said, "Hey ladies, watch out!".

When we got to My Gym, Graeme ran excitedly through the hallways to get to the gym. Once at the door, I opened it, and he yelled, "I'm here, I'm here!" while running toward the warm-up circle. Everyone looked up and laughed. Throughout the class he loudly volunteered for every demonstration. Now that the boys will be 2 & 1/2 in two weeks, they'll be moving up to the 2 & 1/2 to 3 & 1/2 group. I'm sure they will hold their own with the older kids, between Graeme's confidence and Liam's physical skills.

Wednesday was a holiday here, so Sean was home and we were all worn out and grumpy from the long night before. We decided to go to the Air Force Museum in the afternoon to get out of the house, but when we got there it was closed, of course, because it was a holiday - it's hard to think sometimes when you're exhausted. Since we had promised the boys that they would see planes, we headed to the airport. We viewed a plane pulling away from its gate, rode the monorail train between two of the terminals, played in a children's play area, stood transfixed in front of a small fountain with jumping water, and then went to McDonald's for dinner because the good child-friendly restaurants are past security. The boys got their first Happy Meals, which have changed in some ways (you can choose apple slices on the side), and not in others (the toy was a Millennium Falcon or Obi-Wan's Jedi Starfighter). I think those were the toys back in the early 80s when I was a kid. During the meal, Sean looked at Graeme, who was eating his cheeseburger, and made a remark about how he was just feeding the boys baby food with a spoon, and now they're eating burgers with two hands like little adults. Time, it goes so fast when you're having fun...

Tonight at dinner, Sean asked Graeme a question, and in answer, Graeme said "Thewheelsonthebusgoroundandroundallthroughthetown" very quickly with a straight face. Sean and I laughed for a solid minute.

And finally, Sean was putting the boys to bed tonight, and Liam didn't want to stay in his bed. Sean laid down beside Liam to block him from getting out, and Liam immediately said, "Get out of my bed NOW", in his sweet little voice but with a commanding tone.

Ah yes, those are my boys! They wear me out, but they're worth it.

I Say Poop

2008-09-24T17:09:00.004+08:00

Dinner conversation Monday night:

L: I say pee pee and poo poo.

G: I say poo poo and pee pee.

L: I say salad.

G: I say salad dressing.

L: I say cup.

G: I say bowl.

L: I say spoon.

G: I say fork.

L: I say light.

G: I say lightbulb.

L: I say pickle (there were no pickles in sight)

G: I say pee pee and poo poo.

Well, at least the conversation came full circle. There has been a lot of potty talk since starting PT, and last night I finally figured out where the "I say" part was coming from. The boys were in bed not going to sleep, and they started the "I say pee pee" conversation again. We have an Elmo video about potty training, which they watched several times in the days before going straight-to-underwear. One of the segments features children talking about which words they use to describe bodily functions. My personal favorite was "I call it dookie!".

While I'm on the subject, the boys have been waking up dry from their naps most of the time. However, Liam was particularly tired on Sunday after a morning visit to the zoo. He fell asleep in the car on the way home, and I decided that I'd rather chance him peeing during his nap than wake him up before the nap and ask him to go. He does not wake up pretty when he's tired, so straight to bed he went. Almost two hours later, he stumbled into my room, and the front of his hair was wet. Upon inspection of his head and his bed, I determined that he peed twice and moved his head into one of the pee puddles during his nap. Now that is heavy sleeping!

Why Yes, I Do Frequently Burst Out in Song

2008-09-22T13:27:00.009+08:00

So I've joined Facebook. A person new to Singapore invited me to join, and I ended up finding half of my high school class on there, as well as many of my friends in Atlanta and Singapore. It's been fun catching up with everyone, though it reminds me that I am now twice the age I was when I graduated from high school. Anyway, there are groups that you can join which will be shown on your profile to give friends an idea of your interests. I've joined high school, college, and pharmacy school alumni groups, plus a few random "just for fun" groups, one of which is the title of this post.

I joined this group because I do like to sing (though not well at all), and I do enjoy musicals, but mostly I joined in honor of Graeme and Liam. Graeme is singing more than his ABCs now. He started entertaining us with hilarious renditions of "Happy Birthday" sung into anything remotely resembling a microphone. Liam soon joined him, and now they both sing while in funny little stances like tiny Elvis's, wearing T-shirts and Elmo/Nemo/Cars/Thomas underwear instead of sparkly jumpsuits. Grandma Arlene and Grandpa Denny were lucky enough to witness a short demonstration while webcamming a couple of weeks ago. Graeme has added "Wheels On the Bus" and "Where is Thumbkin?" to his repertoire just in the past couple of days. And, yes, he just sings whenever he feels the need.

While I'm on the subject, Liam has a developed a reaction to the rest of the family's singing. Whenever Graeme, Sean, or I sing, Liam adopts the talk-to-the-hand pose and whines, "Noooooooo" as though his ears are bleeding. We're not great singers, but I didn't think we were that bad. He doesn't do this when his Kindermusik teacher sings, so maybe we are terrible instead of just mediocre.

The boys' language development continues to amaze us. Before Grandma Ar and Aunt Mar's late July/August visit, the kids would speak in several short sentences. After the visit, their sentences and words were more complex. Liam now says things like, "I want to go downstairs and play with my digger in the playroom".

This past week, the boys began narrating on a regular basis while playing, and their play has become more imaginative. They talk about going places a lot, particularly by plane, boat, and cable car. Evidently our cable car ride to Sentosa Island made an impression. And, unfortunately for our discipline approach, the boys have declared the Group W bench an airplane, which they fly in every day. The laundry basket is a boat, and a small ride-on car is the cable car. They go shopping for food often, and they have afternoon tea with their new dinosaurs. The boys also pretend to spray us with water like firefighters. And, of course, they play with their airplanes, rocket, and Tonka trucks every day. We're doing lots of reading of the Mouse Cookie anthology too, with "If You Give a Pig a Pancake" their current favorite of the series.

As for the terrible twos phase, Liam's the whiner and Graeme is tantrum/angry boy. Overall, they're good kids, but today I had to give Graeme a you-better-shape-up-or-I'm-taking- you-out-of-this-room speech at Kindermusik, and later Liam whined and needed a "hug, hug, hug" for 30 minutes after he woke up from his nap. Graeme's reaction lately when he doesn't get his way: scream or get extremely frustrated in one way or another. Liam's reaction: whine and act put-upon. Alas, I am subjected to both common annoying toddler habits, though it could certainly be worse in terms of frequency.

That said, there are so many sweet, hilarious moments with the boys that all the annoying stuff is (mostly) forgotten. When he wasn't showing his rear in Kindermusik today, Graeme was telling the teacher what to do in a helpful way and putting away the instruments. After the teacher announced quiet time, Graeme repeated "quiet time" loudly and told her to turn off the lights. Later this afternoon, Liam cuddled on the couch with a baby doll after pretending to feed her a bottle. He then collected a few plastic dinosaurs and managed to hug them and the doll at the same time. I'll write in my next post about the crazy dinner conversation tonight.

And finally, a potty training update: We've managed to go to My Gym last Thursday, the zoo yesterday, a picnic at the Botanic Gardens yesterday, and Kindermusik today without accidents. Today was completely accident-free for both boys, and they both pooped in the "big potty" as they call it - the regular toilet with a plastic seat insert so they don't fall in. Yay! They're growing up.

It Has Begun

2008-09-10T14:06:00.011+08:00

What is "it" you may ask? Why, potty training of course. I kind-of started last week with a few scheduled potty times and a switch to pull-ups, but the whole thing was a waste of time. Once the boys realized that they could pee in the pull-ups and not feel much different, they just peed whenever. Plus they couldn't manage pulling them down and up easily. I resigned myself to going straight-to-underwear this week after we got past a few events that we needed to attend with the boys. The carpet people came to pick up my carpets for annual cleaning on Monday, so those are out of the way. We have nothing planned from yesterday afternoon until the Saturday morning swim lesson, so we've got some time to start working on it.

Yesterday after morning playgroup and lunch, I let them pick out underwear for their nap. They made it through the nap dry but peed soon after waking up, which caused them (especially Liam) to be upset. I made the mistake of leaving the potties in the bathroom, and I think they were "out of sight, out of mind", even though I reminded the boys where the potties were. There were several accidents yesterday, including two which required the sofa upholstery cleaner. Yay!

Last night I re-read the potty training Q & A entries from John Rosemond's website and realized that I should keep the potties in the boys' sight for the first few days so they are easy to access. This morning Liam said, "I'm not gonna pee pee on the floor" after I took off his night diaper, and then he promptly peed in his potty. Then the rest of the morning Liam said, "I need to pee pee" before he went by himself. Graeme said the same but sometimes spotted his underwear while he said it, and then he went to the potty. He peed on the floor once this morning 5 minutes after peeing a little in the potty and saying he was finished.

They both peed (and Liam pooped) in their potties before their nap, but woke up UGLY after peeing during the nap. After I got them cleaned up and settled down, they peed in their clean underwear soon thereafter. The rest of the afternoon went okay, with both of them requesting to pee during dinner. Graeme hasn't pooped in the potty yet, so hopefully that won't be an issue for him. I imagine that there's nothing quite like a constipated toddler. Fun! We'll see how it goes tomorrow.

They'll wear night diapers until they're day trained, and of course they have to wear the swim diapers for swimming lessons. It's underwear-only for all other times though. Messy, but supposedly more effective time-wise than pull-ups. It appears that we'll be having ups and downs for a few days before they get the hang of it.

Besides clapping wildly and yelling "I PEE PEED IN THE POTTY!", there are some funny and/or bizarre things that they boys have said and done lately, and I thought I'd share a few:

1) Bargaining for fruit - I'm not sure how this came about, but one night while the boys were in bed not sleeping, I hear, "One apple". Then, "No, one PINEapple." Followed by, "Two strawberries". "No, one strawberry". "No, two bananas". And so on, for a couple of minutes. They have debated fruit on several occasions since then. Maybe they got the idea from the fruit all over their Elmo and Zoe cups, which I've caught Liam studying during mealtimes instead of drinking his milk.

2) Graeme is sitting next to me while I'm on the laptop, and he sneezes all over the screen. He immediately says, "I excuse me'd on the 'puter!". At least he knows what to say when he sneezes.

3) Micro is running off at the mouth during Sean's morning routine, and I asked him if he could say, "No comment". He immediately repeats, "No comment, mommy". If only he would take that advice.

4) We have a small, maybe 2-inch long gecko in our house (probably one of many) which sometimes runs across the wall but mostly hides during the day. A week ago the gecko showed himself while Liam was walking down the stairs. I was a couple of stairs in front of him, but he still managed to jump onto my leg in fear of the tiny lizard. In an attempt to make the lizard seem cute and lovable, I thought we would give him a name. I listed names typical (Bill) and not typical (Beauregard), but was shot down by both Graeme and Liam. I told them that I would come up with a name they would like. That night, "Jamal" popped into my head, which is more than a little off. The next morning, I said to Liam, "The lizard's name is Jamal", and Liam beamed, "Yes, Jamal!!!". Evidently the kids ARE as weird as I am.

5) The boys are into rockets and space lately, and they wanted to see a picture of a rocket on the computer instead of the same one in their book. I went to the NASA website and found some good pics of Saturn V, plus a space shuttle blastoff. Now whenever they see the laptop, they want to see the rocket, want to see the rocket, want to see the rocket, want to see the rocket, want to see the rocket!!!! So I had sense enough to bookmark the page after being too slow to bring up the pictures after only the second request. Today Graeme requested airplanes also, so I bookmarked the Lockheed Martin photo gallery (Granddaddy Al will be proud!), and he had a good time staring at the airplanes, satellites, and rockets for a solid 10 minutes. Whatever works, I say.

I've already ordered some rocket and airplane books for the boys and have many more books, plus NASA, space, and airplane videos on my wish list for them. If they keep this up, they'll be having a space-themed 3rd birthday party in April 2009 and will be wearing this while riding this. The things they sell these days! I feel old when I look at some of this stuff and think of what was available in the '70s when I was 3. We had to make our space shuttle out of cardboard. Oh wait, there were no shuttles then. Anyway, I'm getting my tired self to bed now before I look at more crap on Amazon.

Future Aviators of America

2008-09-01T20:09:00.006+08:00

Liam is currently suffering from Mystery Fever, which is not some rabid desire to read The Hardy Boys, but instead my term for a moderately high fever of unknown origin with no other symptoms. Graeme suffered Mystery Fever for two days last week, then he was fine. Hopefully there won't be a day three for Liam, because he is just tragic when he's feeling really bad. He did have moments yesterday and today when he was feeling okay enough to play and be a subdued version his usual crazy self.

While Liam was reclining on the playroom couch this afternoon, I brought out the trampoline in an effort to tire Graeme before dinner. After watching Graeme jump for a couple of minutes, Liam got up and decided to jump a bit. It was half-hearted compared to his usual jumping, but at least he got up. Maybe there's hope that when he's older he won't be so pitiful when he's sick like some adult males are (I'm looking at you, E. Brown).

Enough sickness; moving on to the fun. On Sunday we went to the Singapore Air Force open house. Being the aircraft lovers that they are, the boys had a great time. Check out this photo of Liam, Graeme, and Sean with two Black Knights, members of S'pore's aerobatics team (Singapore's Thunderbirds):

Lookin' good in our shades

We were able to go inside a C-130. This was especially cool since my dad used to fly them when he was in the Air Force. Yes, I actually exist in this picture, since Sean volunteered to take it:

Hercules!
(Not me - the plane, though Graeme is weighing more these days)

Ready for our first jump

After looking at more planes, helicopters, and weapons, we saw a military version of a front loader, which the boys immediately called a digger. Here's a pic of them "driving" the digger:

Get out of the way down there!

After the digger, Liam and Graeme jumped around in a bouncy thing that was set up for little kids. Nearby, some people were taking a hot air balloon ride, and Liam was particularly fascinated by the balloon and the fire involved. We then rushed to the grandstand to watch the aerial display. We saw F-16s and F-5s take off, fly around, and land; a Chinook helicopter drop a vehicle and some commandos (ok, they used ropes to get down); and Apache helicopters pretend to intercept an unidentified aircraft. Finally, a C-130 landed in the distance, as you can see in the far right of this picture:

One of the few moments Graeme took his eyes off the aircraft

The best part of the aerial display for me and Sean was the music. It seems military personnel all over the world enjoy 80s rock - the soundtrack included several Metallica songs and, of course, The Final Countdown. I guess we were showing our age when we named the band and the year that song was a hit.

Coming soon - the Great Fruit Debate and other strange toddler discussions.

µg

2008-08-28T17:20:00.057+08:00

For those of you who aren't science geeks, I'll explain the title in a bit. I thought I'd share a couple of random nicknames we've given Graeme before I recap what's been going on the past few days.

Graematollah - Not sure where this one originated, especially since Graeme is no scholar of Islam.

Graembo - When he's in one of his more destructive moods, this one fits.

G-man - Maybe Graeme is the next Mulder.

G - for texting purposes, when Sean and I are discussing Graeme.

Flashdance - this is a nickname given to both Graeme and Liam. The T-shirts they wear to bed have wide neck openings, so the shirts easily fall off one of their shoulders. Whenever I see this, I picture Jennifer Beals wearing that sweatshirt, while "Maniac" plays in my head.

And finally, µg. This is the symbol for microgram. Sometimes we shorten this to Micro, as in micro-manager. Sean christened Graeme with this moniker when Graeme began telling all of us what to do and how to do it. Little µg has been waking up early again (around 6 or 6:15 - ugh!), and when he does this, we try to keep him relatively quiet (ha!) so his non-morning-person brother can sleep until around 7 am. On these mornings, Micro lives up to this name.

My favorite method of preoccupation is for Micro to go into the bathroom with Sean while he gets ready for work. Micro directs Daddy's morning routine, beginning by insisting that he, µg, flush the toilet after Sean is finished. He watches Sean closely to make sure Daddy brushes his teeth properly. Next he tells Sean to get in the shower, opening and closing the shower door for him. Micro gets a towel from the cabinet and places it just so outside the shower door. During Sean's shower, he messes around with anything he can reach on the countertop. Once he's bored with that, he comes back out into the bedroom to get the stool so he can watch the rest of the routine more closely.

He hands Sean the towel and observes the drying-off process. Sean goes to the sink to begin shaving, and Micro gets up on the stool. He tells Sean to put the razor, aka the "shaver", on the far side of the sink so Micro himself can't grab it. He watches intently while Sean applies shaving cream and starts to shave. Micro always tells Daddy if he misses a spot, of course.

After observing shaving, µg selects a shirt for Sean to wear to work. Sean selects pants, a belt, and socks that match so he won't look like a clown, while prompting Micro to select the same socks to give the appearance that µg picked them out himself. Micro then selects a pair of boxers. Sean must hide Micro's favorite orange plaid pair because µg began to pick them every day, we assume since orange is his favorite color. Micro then watches Daddy get dressed and makes sure that he looks presentable. After that, he's back to harassing me to go downstairs or to allow him to jump on his brother to wake him up ("Where's Liam?" he says, with a devilish grin).

It's not just Daddy's morning routine that µg manages. He tells me how to do everything, including, but certainly not limited to, driving, turning on the faucet, and making his toga at bath time. I think (hope) this is just a phase since he's learning more words everyday and he likes to describe everything. It's his somewhat bossy tone that really makes him µg. His constant use of the word "need" when he means "want" reinforces the image - "I need to play with the pirate ship." "I need more banana." "I need to go outside", and so on, all day long. We're now actively working on using "want".

So, other than micro-managing, what's been happening? Since I'm a fan of gymnastics, I've been needlessly preoccupied with the Chinese gymnasts age controversy. Check out the American hacker's blog - I'm not remotely a computer expert, but it looks to me like there's been cheating. I'm doubting anything will come of it, though. Oh well, life's not fair, but then we all know that.

Off the soapbox, and back to the boys - it's been rainy here for almost two weeks, so we've been stuck inside more often than I'd like. You see, the boys get worn out much easier when they play outside, since it's hot here even when it's cloudy. Therefore, I try to take them outside quite often. One day it was just overcast so I set up their water play table and gave them some watering cans and other toys. Splashmaster Liam (he has nicknames too) went crazy splashing water everywhere and eventually calmed down enough to water the plants and my feet. Graeme was more subdued but still enjoyed himself.

Liam waters the bushes

G-man stalks me with a squirting killer whale

One particularly rainy day, I got out the trampoline which we hadn't used in a couple of months. I used to jump on it with them because they couldn't really coordinate lifting both feet at once. Now they jump around on their own all the time thanks to My Gym and Kindermusik, so I was told by both of them that they would jump alone. When I tried to jump by myself on the trampoline, both Micro and Liam told me to get off and "go over there, Mommy".

And stay off!

Well that's it for now. I've got a few funny situations to write about next, plus I need to download video so I can post the Many Walks of Liam. As they say over here, Cheers!

Helicopters, Airplanes, and Rockets

2008-08-20T13:42:00.014+08:00

The boys' bath routine has evolved as they've gotten older. They now go into the master bathroom (the only one of six bathrooms in this house that has a bathtub), take off their own diapers, and sit on their potties to attempt to pee. No, I'm not officially potty training them yet. This step of the routine came to fruition when Liam kept peeing on the bathroom floor as soon as I took his diaper off. For quite a while, only Liam would pee in the potty, but now Graeme is also going almost every night. I think we may be getting closer to starting the real deal in a few weeks.

Anyway, then they take their vitamin. They sometimes then get acetaminophen for their molar pain. After that, the teeth brushing commences. They begin by "brushing" their own teeth, and then I brush their teeth to actually get them clean. One at a time, they stand on the stool, rinse with water, and spit. They just started spitting one week ago after their first visit to the dentist (which was hilarious and went much better than I expected). They are able to spit in the sink most of the time. Sometimes they completely miss and spit straight down, hitting their feet and the stool.

Finally the actual bathing starts with both boys in the tub. Even though I don't put much water in the tub, the boys usually manage to splash so much that the floor gets pretty wet. They particularly enjoy filling up their small rubber ducks with water and trying to squirt each other and me with them. Occasionally we get more attempts at Riverdancing. Somehow I'm able to clean them during all of the commotion.

Before Grandma Ar and Aunt Mar's visit, we did a technique called the Airplane when it was time to get the boys out of the tub. Sean and I would each hold a child in one arm and hold up our other arm in front of us as though we were flying. The boys would wear a hooded towel deemed the "cape" (or "cake" in earlier months), and also hold up one flying arm. Then we would all face the mirror and make a flying noise. After that, drying off would begin.

The routine became more complicated when we saw and heard a helicopter flying one day. That night, the boys decided that they wanted to be helicopters too. Holding one of the boys, I held my arm straight out to the side, made a sound that sort of sounded like helicopter blades while spinning around slowly. Then we "flew" like airplanes again, did the Helicopter with the other arm and opposite turn, and did the Airplane again. The boys loved it.

After our recent visit to the Singapore Air Force Museum, we had another addition to the flying simulations. At the museum, the boys enjoyed looking at a missile which Liam called a rocket because it looks like the rocket in his Things That Go book. The kids also have a toy rocket that counts down to blast off. That night, we added the Rocket to the Helicopter and the Airplane. They hold their hands together over their heads while we count down from 5. After one, we say "blast off!" and jump up in the air while holding the kids. They really love this one.

Graeme and Grandma Ar demonstrate the helicopter

Rockets ready to blast off!

After blast off, we finally dry the boys, then wrap their towels around them like togas. Then we support them as they stand on the counter in front of the mirror and yell "Toga, toga...". Finally, we apply lotion to both boys and eczema cream to Liam, comb their hair, and dress them in their pajamas. Most of the time we'll sing softly during the dressing part to help calm them down.

Toga, Toga, Toga, Togaaaaaaa!

Tonight I did bath time alone since Sean is in Hong Kong, so I have to do the parts separately for each child. I started to forget the Toga and was quickly corrected by Liam. While combing Liam's hair, I said that his hair was getting long, and Liam surprised me by saying, "need a haircut" without me mentioning haircuts. He then said, "spray with water, use scissors". I thought it was pretty smart of him to make the leap from my comment about his long hair to a description of what happens during a haircut.

Up soon - the Many Nicknames of Graeme, the Many Walks of Liam, and more.

Round and Round

2008-08-19T13:04:00.008+08:00

Yesterday the boys played a new game after snack time. They had a messy snack of yogurt and watermelon, so they were only wearing diapers. Standing next to the dining room table, Liam began counting, "1, 2, 4, 5!" and then he took off running around the table. Graeme followed with "1, 2, 3, 5!", and he followed Liam (the counting still needs a little work sometimes). After a couple of laps around the table, Graeme yelled "Stop!", and they froze.

Then they counted again, and ran around again a few times. This time Liam stopped and said, "Take a rest", and he laid down on the floor. Graeme followed with his hands flat on the floor, and he rested his forehand on his hands and said, "I sleeping". A few seconds later, they popped up and started running again, giggling the whole time. The entire routine was repeated several times before they were finally tired. During the craziness, I ran and got the camera, so here are a few action pics:

Liam runs around the table

Graeme runs too

Resting

The boys were still in a good mood after running around, so I took some more pictures of them together (which is always a challenge). One of my favorites is now on the blog home page in the right upper corner - check out those huge smiles! Here's another favorite, the Glamour Shot:

Doing the sulky model thing

And finally a "normal" smiling shot:

We're good, we swear!

Today the boys had a rough day. They are clearly missing Grandma and Aunt Mar, and are very whiny. Liam poured out his milk all over the floor at all three meals (oh, the challenges of teaching toddlers to drink politely from regular cups!), and Graeme followed suit tonight at dinner after watching Liam dump his. I was very frustrated with them, but one cute incident occurred which reminded me how sweet they are, even though they misbehave. They were sitting on the bottom "time out" step watching me wipe up the milk when Graeme turned to Liam and said, "Need a hug", and hugged Liam. Then Graeme said, "Thank you". I smiled, and took them upstairs for bath time.

More cuteness: At nap time, Liam pretended to tickle himself while laying in bed and repeated, "Tickle bug" over and over, a phrase he learned during Ar and Mar's visit. In bed tonight, he mentioned Elmo, and I told him that Elmo was tired and wanted to sleep, hoping that Liam would go to sleep too. Liam said, "Elmo sleeps on the fire truck", which I thought was clever since the boys watched "Elmo Visits the Firehouse" today.

I'll do that review of the bath routine in the next entry.

And We're Back

2008-08-17T12:22:00.009+08:00

It's me again, after a long, long time. Sean's mom Arlene and her twin sister Marlene are back home after a three week visit with us. We had a great time with "Grandma Ar" and "Aunt Mar". Graeme did indeed go looking for them Sunday morning when it was time to go downstairs for breakfast. Arlene correctly predicted this in her last blog entry.

During their visit, we took a short trip to Phi Phi Island, Thailand. We stayed at a great resort, had fun at the beach and pool, and we were lucky enough to see an example of Earth's astonishing beauty. We rode through a small cove of Phi Phi Lae on a long tail boat, and the limestone cliffs were breathtaking. This picture doesn't begin to do this location justice:

So what else has been happening? After a spring full of plagues (dual mycoplasma infections, HMFD, and a couple of ear infections), June was much better. In July, the boys began cutting their final baby molars, so we've had some sleep disturbances and more whining and crabbiness than usual. They are also currently acting out(aka "showing their rear ends" as I say) since our beloved visitors have left. That said, we've had lots of fun and the boys continue to be hilarious at times. A few highlights from the past few months:

Choo-choo - Since learning to use scarves or hula-hoops to form choo-choo trains in Kindermusik, the boys will use anything of similar length to do the same. Each holds an end of the object and they walk around saying "choo-choo (name of object)". Favorites include Daddy's ties, a flexible tape measure, the hair dryer with its cord, and an extension cord.

Flashing - Liam became known as "The Flash" for a few days because he would wrap his towel around himself after his bath, then quickly whip it open and giggle. I'm going to see if I can find a Flash costume in his size for the American Club's Superhero Party for little boys this fall.

Counting - The boys can now count to ten, though sometimes they drop three and insert a number from the 'teens, like fourteen. Bizarre but funny, because they sound so sure of themselves when they do it.

Singing - Graeme especially likes to sing his ABCs, since we often sing this along with "Twinkle, Twinkle" and "Baa Baa Black Sheep" during bathtime to calm down. He is able to do a few letters in a row by himself, then I help him with a few, then he can continue. Two days ago he sang the opening of the Elmo's World theme song before his nap. Parents of preschoolers, you know what I'm talking about. I'll spare everyone else by not including a link.

Fun with play food - The boys continue to enjoy cooking with their kitchen and pretending to eat the play food. Play food is now much more multicultural than in the 70s, when I had plastic bananas, carrots and similar basic items. Now the sets include sushi and soy sauce, different types of pasta and sauces, more varieties of vegetables, plus Mexican food like burritos, tacos, and tostadas. The boys recently started playing a game during which they push a tiny purple plastic eggplant through the umbrella hole of their toddler-sized picnic table. One child lays underneath the table, and the other sits on the bench and pushes the eggplant to the first child. For some reason, they think this activity is hilarious, and therefore, it is.

Eggplant shenanigans

Fun with real food - The boys can put away a lot of food for tiny people. Grandma Ar and Aunt Mar couldn't believe how much food the little ones can eat. They each ate two adult-sized pieces of pizza recently, and Liam wanted more. They're still eating a good variety of foods, including chinese chicken and spinach noodles, broccoli wagon wheel pasta, and teriyaki chicken and rice. They love yogurt, fruit, cheese, and pretzels for snacks. Junk food has so far been limited to those important fatty foods, ice cream and french fries. They did have their first half-of-a-donut after we stumbled upon a Dunkin Donuts in the Phuket, Thailand airport of all places. Graeme didn't care for his other than licking some icing off the top, but Liam ate his and wanted more, of course. As Sean has said many times in the past, all food belongs to Liam. It must go to his cheeks, because the rest of him is skinny.

Talking - The boys have been talking a lot in the past few months. They just spent three weeks with three great talkers (Ar, Mar, and Sean, I love you guys!), and now the boys talk all day long, Graeme especially. Liam is slightly quieter in general, but when he talks, he tends to tell a long story about the topic. They enjoy describing what they or someone else is doing. This sometimes leads to them issuing commands, like Graeme's "Go that way!" when we're in the car. Their vocabulary is huge and even includes several "big" words like caterpillar, butterfly, oscillate, and parliamentary procedure. I'm only kidding a little about the last one. When they first said butterfly in front of Sean a few weeks ago, he asked them to say parliamentary procedure. They didn't do too well then, but yesterday they both said procedure with no problem. Parliamentary came across as something like "paritorry", but close enough. The most recent new word that mommy and daddy don't care for: Mine! Unfortunately it's used quite often when fighting over a toy.

Enough for now. I have a lot of catching up to do, so next I'll do a review of our new bathtime routine, complete with pictures. It's good to be back!

A Little Distracted - Okay a Lot Distracted

2008-08-04T19:52:00.003+08:00

Hey, it can't be all Arlo Guthrie references...

Needless to say, we've been blogless for almost two weeks now and I'm sure our readers (both of you) are wonder where we've wandered off to this time. In a word, Thailand.

In several words, the usual. Work picked up, the kids activities are keeping us busy and my mom and her twin sister came to visit. Today is their 59th birthday (first time) and we're all going to Thailand for five days tomorrow morning to celebrate. More to follow on that.

In any case, the good news is that my mother is blogging her trip here:

http://worldtraveler-grandma.blogspot.com/

So if you want to keep up with us vicariously, here's your ticket.

Tiffany’s Restaurant Massacre

2008-07-17T21:04:00.000+08:00

The seeds we plant in our children are sometimes twisted ones, ones that take time to germinate, root, grow and burst from their tiny minds in a tangle of shock and confusion. I know. I stumbled across cultural landmines from my childhood repeatedly in college. Things that my family (my father in particular) had said or done that I thought were just our family weirdness but in fact were a Dennis Miller-esque cultural sub reference. Yes, of course I have an example…

I was a Junior in college minding my own business sitting in my room in the frat house I lived in when my roommate/little brother comes in with our resident hippie brother (every house had one – the pot has to be grown somewhere – I never inhaled). They proceed to the stereo and put on the “song”. I use the quotes because there was a lot more talking than singing and it was a smidge longer that the 3:05 that Billy Joel’s hits are cut down to.

This was not shocking or intimidating to me. My roommate was the same guy who made party tapes with fraternity songs on them at twenty minute intervals to clear the room and bring in a fresh crowd when the “good” music started. His musical eclecticism was well known. I grew up exposed to the singer/songwriter set and my father’s penchant for Harry Chapin meant that I could stomach a seven or eight minute song without too much trouble.

All that said, the song starts up and it’s this guy talking about the song, or the name of the song or the restaurant it’s named after. It was amusing but nothing to really get my attention. When the chorus starts up, I realize this is Alice’s Restaurant. Like the Rocky Horror Picture Show or Meatloaf’s Bat Out of Hell, there are some things everyone encounters in college or did back then. I checked the box on my mental list of things to do before graduation and tuned back out.

About twelve minutes later, I heard something that yanked my attention back to the song. "Kid, I want you to go and sit down on that bench that says Group W .... NOW kid!!" I stopped the tape (yes, this was that long ago) and rewound it. My roommate was confused and asked what the big deal was. I explained that when I was a kid and my brothers and/or I misbehaved that there was a bench in my father’s room that we would have to go sit on. Sometimes he’d even make us hold hands; that was the worst. He called it the “Group W” bench. Here is the original bench as it has been preserved for posterity. It’s far more uncomfortable than it looks. I know. Trust me.

Here’s a list of who sits on the Group W bench according to Arlo Guthrie: “there was all kinds of mean nasty ugly looking people on the bench there. Mother rapers. Father stabbers. Father rapers! Father rapers sitting right there on the bench next to me! And they was mean and nasty and ugly and horrible crime-type guys sitting on the bench next to me.”

Here’s a picture of posterity sitting on the original bench in December 2007. When my father sent this to me he noted that, “the occupants are miniature-sized reproductions.” You will note Liam has his hands up as though he’s been caught in the act, complete with a sheepish look. Graeme, on the other hand, is planning his escape or next shenanigan.

So, it’s time to plant some seeds of our own and see how old our children are before they encounter Arlo Guthrie. Behold the second generation Group W bench in all its teak glory. It’s backless for increased discomfort.

As you can see below, they seem to have forgotten already that sitting on the Group W bench is a punishment.

There Is No Joy in Muddville

2008-07-11T08:24:00.003+08:00

It's a little scary the photos that parents can dig out of their archives if you provoke them. This picture came from my father with the quote, "The year you didn't strike out." Mighty Casey I am not...

From left to right, me in all my scrawny glory, my best friend down the street David Bowman, and my brother Matt.

Dance Fever

2008-07-05T14:23:00.004+08:00

There's a war being fought in my sons' genetic code. It's not a battle for survival or against some malignant disease, unless you count social leprosy. It's a struggle between their mother's natural gift of rhythm and their father's fundamental whiteness. It's one that I hope her genes win. As Dan Quayle said, "What a terrible thing to have lost one's hipness. Or not to have hipness at all. How true that is." At least I'm sure that's what he meant.

What does it look like when white boys under three feet tall try to lay down the boogie and play that funky music ? No, that's something else. Anyway, here's baby dancing, oh and whining, and a penguin being bashed with a hammer. They're not really related, but they are funny, painful and funny as hell, respectively.

Diaper Baseball

2008-07-05T12:45:00.007+08:00

A decade ago Trey Parker and Matt Stone, of South Park fame, created a horrible movie called BASEketball. We'll forgive them as this was clearly a warm up for the brilliant satire that became Team America, but I digress.

My sons have invented Diaperball. This involves taking off all your clothes except your diaper and hitting a wiffel ball off a plastic tee with the wrong end of the bat. I hope this never becomes a professional sport, but you can make your own judgement call. Their diapers aren't all that much worse that the short-shorts NBA players wore in the 80's.

Now, before you watch this I must warn you about a couple of things. First, we're still working on our videography, so no complaining if one minute there's a chair blocking your view, the next you have a great look at the kids and then you're spinning and staring at pavement. You will note that I am headless through most of the video. Mommy is focused on her littler boys. Anyone who wants to shoot video for us is welcome to come on over - then you may critique at your leisure.

Second, it's hard to tell sometimes, but I am joking about the boys' performance. I have no expectation that they will be professional baseball players or even adequate little leaguers (although their father did bat .800 his last year). I don't think I'll ever be one of those psychotic push-them-to-be-star-athletes-parents. If I disappoint us all and do become one, you will be able to say you saw it coming on video back in 2008.

Other than that, Tiffany's voice over sets this up for you.

NOTE: I'm having trouble balancing file size limits, video length and download quality when mixing from our video camera. Somebody let me know if this is incredibly painful to download or the quality stinks. The file is pretty huge by upload standards, but you're getting three minutes of crazy for your money.

Some Words from Our Sponsors

2008-07-03T21:39:00.002+08:00

Okay, this one may be lost on those of you that don’t have to live over here, but I have to share some of the language challenges that we encounter. I’m going to tie this back to the boys by saying that Tiffany has had to ask both our helpers not to use certain phrases as we’d prefer the boys not adopt them. That said, some of these are primarily work-related.

Lah – as in, “Twins, lah?” It doesn’t really mean anything. Singaporeans us it for emphasis or just use it.
Can – yes, a trailing lah is standard.
Can not – no.
Don’t want? – You don’t want this?
Aircon – Air conditioning
Giddy - dizzy
Carpark - parking lot/deck
Lorrie - truck
Leave(s) – vacation
Mails – mail
Works – road work/construction
Table (object at work) – desk
Concall – Conference call
Table (verb) - to bring up for discussion. The opposite of its U.S. business meaning
Revert - reply
Lift – elevator
Boot – trunk

This last one led to one of the funnier bumper stickers we’ve seen in Singapore, “Ex-husband in Boot.”

On another note, it seems that the video worked and was well received, so I’ll be trying to put some additional cuts up over the weekend.

A Smattering of Reality

2008-07-02T12:09:00.000+08:00

It’s an odd stage in the boys’ development. There are things they do that drive us completely crazy, but there are things that they used to struggle with that they have mastered. It’s a fine line between pushing them to new skills to make everyone’s life easy and starting to have conversations that start with, “Remember when they couldn’t…”

Examples? You want examples? Of course you do.

When we moved to Singapore life was time bound. The rules were simple. The boys got up around 7 am, got fed, and were good until about 9:30 or 10 am. Then they went down for a nap, got up after an hour to an hour and a half, had lunch and were good until 1 or 1:30 pm. Then they would nap again until around3 pm, be up for a couple of hours, have dinner, bath and bed by 7 pm. They couldn’t feed themselves, couldn’t walk, couldn’t talk, didn’t know what a potty was and didn’t like disruptions to their schedule.

Oh, you could take them out between 7 am and 10 am, but miss the start of that nap and suffer the consequences: the whining, crying, pre-tantrum consequences. Not to mention the fallout for the rest of the day because they got off track: more whining, crying and pre-tantrums. We found out the hard way in a Pizza Hut in Plaza Singapura last May. We put them in high chairs and bibs, pulled out their bottles and baby food jars and began to attempt dinner. It was too late in the day. Less than thirty minutes later, the only thing in a five foot radius that wasn’t covered in a thin layer of milk and Gerber 3s was the inside of their stomachs. This was one of those occasions when they began to melt down and we just pulled them out before they began to affect those around us (except for the milk shower and free Gerber topping on their pizza).

Today is different. They’re down to one nap, they walk, they talk (on their terms), and they’re more flexible (in their own way). A typical day is wake up between 6 am and 7 am. This is what I call the red zone. If they sleep until 7 am all is well; if they’re up at 6 am then mommy and at least one of them (Liam) will be grumpy for at least part of the day. Mommy contains them upstairs until 7 am regardless and then they go downstairs for breakfast. Then we play or have class (Kindermusik or MyGym) or go to play group. Come home for lunch around 11 am (or fall asleep in the car if we’re tired or running late) and then nap for an hour or two. They get up around 2 pm and then dinner around 6 pm (or earlier if we’re grumpy) and then bath and bed around 7 pm. Now, bed and asleep are two different issues as mentioned in other entries.

What’s a meal like for comparison? Well, to start with, they feed themselves. They use forks and spoons (and hands). Our biggest challenge is either getting them to eat if they’re being finicky or getting them to slow down if they’re not. It reminds me of when my father used to jokingly call one of my brothers “Garbage Jeff” because of his adolescent eating habits. Jeff had puberty for an excuse. Liam’s just a bizarre combination of goat and trash compactor (I’ll let you decide which side gave him which genes).

Since he was an infant, we have joked that all food belongs to Liam. I had this realization when he was about six months old. He was laying on our floor in the den in Atlanta and I was sitting down on the couch to eat some pizza I had just heated up. Liam hated lying on the floor on his tummy and wasn’t a big fan of rolling, but he rolled onto his tummy pushed up and arched his back so he could see what I was doing. The look on his face as he watched me eat was hilarious. It seemed to say “Hey! Wait! What’s that? Wait, you’re EATING that. You have food of your own? You’ve been holding out on me.”

Today things aren’t too different. You cannot eat pizza in front of them and expect Liam to eat anything else. Liam, “Pizza, pizza. PIZZA!!!;” Graeme catching on, “I eat a pizza. Graeme eat a pizza.” Tragically this applies to anything that is triangular, so mommy’s quesadilla was branded pizza. Its self-esteem has never recovered. Another challenge with pizza (or quesadillas) is getting the boys to eat them properly. Apparently biting a hole in the middle is both challenging and entertaining. Meals are sometimes a chorus of, “Bite the pointy end.” To which Graeme uses one of his stock phrases combined with his ability to repeat anything (and yes there are funny stories on that, but I have been censored by the guilty party) “I bite a pointy end.”

The newest mealtime trick is drinking from cups without lids or straws. It’s been less than a week, but they’re actually doing quite well. Tiffany has to meter the volume. Pour a little, they drink a little. Pour a lot, it’s bath time. Funny thing, when they’re thirsty there’s not a lot of fooling around. We do have to keep them from dropping food into the cup and fishing it out again.

Other meal time fun: Liam likes to put his hand on the table and push his chair back on two legs. As his mother and I react, he yells, “NO!” at himself before we can, with a big grin on his face. Once meals are done, Tiffany has the boys clearing the table by carrying their plates, cups and bibs (one at a time) into the kitchen to our helper. Occasionally, someone gets lost on the way back to the table and ends up standing next to the large painting (Red Square, by Ford Smith) on the dining room wall. Here he (usually Graeme) waits with a devilish grin on his face until we notice. Despite previous warnings, he then pushes the lower corner of the painting as hard as he can and runs for the stairs. Why the stairs? Because he’s going on the naughty step, where he will recite, “I sorry. I sorry painting.” After correction, “I sorry mommy/daddy.” It’s a different world from last year.

Commitment and Something New - VIDEO

2008-06-29T12:03:00.004+08:00

A business mentor of mine once taught me that breakfast is a great example of commitment versus involvement. Chickens are involved (eggs), but pigs are commited (bacon, ham). What they have on the line (the infamous "skin in the game", can someone look up the origin of that phrase?) always struck me as a great bench mark of what to expect from people.

In the following clip, Graeme demonstrates that lunchtime too can be a great time to demonstrate commitment. Particularly if you a committed to taking a nap.

This my first shot at adding video, so someone comment and let me know if it works.

NOTE: Tiffany is not insane she is talking to the other child who is very awake.

Winners and Losers

2008-06-26T12:04:00.007+08:00

I had the following exchange in email today with another father of a son around the same age as ours who will remain nameless to protect his offspring. I am certain that no matter how gross or bad anyone's story is, someone else has another one to top it.

Him: "Today's lesson: Just because it looks like a raisin doesn't mean it is a raisin. It may, in fact, be a dead fly. To his credit, he had the most horrified look on his face when he realized his mistake. I'm sure this will be repeated several more times before it sinks in. And what do your boys like for snacks?"

Me: "The phrase amateur proctology strikes more fear into me now than it ever did in college."

To be fair this is not an eating thing, it's a touching of his butt during diaper change and then reaching for his mouth as his mother or I dive to stop him. Then he says "Gross!" or "Yucky!" with a triumphant smile on his face, since that's what mommy says when he does this. Rinse and repeat.

Him: "Oh god. You win." Pause a few minutes before the next message.

Him: "Or lose, as the case may be."

Me: "At least it's self investigation and not brotherly service."

Always looking on the bright side. As I've said before, they're allowed to be gay, just not with each other.

Those weren't the droids I was looking for...?

2008-06-26T11:43:00.005+08:00

So, perhaps dressing Liam and Graeme as Yoda and Darth Vader for Dragon*Con a couple of years ago wasn't as random as it might seem.

Our sons have developed Jedi mind trick powers. I suspect they've been doing this for some time, but when I watched the following exchanges in succession I realized that we've probably been had before.

As I mentioned in an earlier post (actually it may be a later post depending on the order I get the pictures uploaded, but there's more in queue after being offline most of June) Tiffany is teaching them to drink from cups without lids or straws. This involves her metering out milk from a third cup into their cup in manageable doses (read limited area of effect weapons). When Graeme finished the following exhcange ocurred.

Graeme, insistent, "More! More!"

Tiffany, patient, "More what?"

Graeme, insistent, thrusting cup at his mother, "More! More!"

Tiffany still patient, "Can you say, 'milk?'"

Graeme, insistent/quizical, "More! More!"

Tiffany losing confidence in this excercise, "Please. Say more milk please."

Graeme, smug, "Okay."

Tiffany, pouring, "More milk please."

Graeme, very smug, "Okay."

Hey, he's only two and we're working on a new skill. This was quickly followed by:

Liam, sing-song looking at his brother, "Kacker, kacker, kacker."

Me, "Kacker?"

Tiffany, "Cracker."

Liam, insistent, "Kacker, kacker."

Tiffany confused, as there are no crackers on the table, in sight or part of the prior discussion, "What about a cracker?" I figure he's looking at his brother and he might be a little young for racial slurs, but the boy is PASTY white so fair call.

Liam, insistent and rocking in his seat excitedly, "Kacker, kacker."

Tiffany, confused, "You want a cracker?" This was not an offer it was an inquiry.

Liam, triumphant, "Okay!"

Tiffany exasperated, "No, we are not having crackers. We have casserole."

Sean, "I think we've been had."

Then a series of hilarious attempts to pronounce casserole broke out.

A Many Splendored Thingy

2008-06-06T19:47:00.004+08:00

So, I’ve been traveling again, work’s been crazy, and the boys are cutting their two year molars. The most accurate term to describe the last few weeks is blast radius. Unfortunately, I’m starting to get the sense that it’s going to be like this until 2025 or I get a lobotomy. I always found my friends with children funny when they tried to use kids as their explanation/excuse for everything they didn’t get to. I mean, it’s not like no one else has ever had children. People have had children for thousands of years, they just didn’t have lives at the same time. Now I know.

[The following is a subliminal message to my friend Shy who claims to read the blog: send me a recent photo, I have a new coworker out here that could be a good match for you. She’s from Atlanta, so my plot to bring you home continues. Hair boy.]

That was my way of explaining why we haven’t had any new posts. Tiffany’s way of explaining is that it “takes too long.” Which is her way of saying that she hasn’t yet managed to sandwich it in between managing the boys and… well she really doesn’t need any more than that, but there is a long list. They are sleeping through the night again, mostly, and have gotten into a routine of falling asleep fairly reliably, except for last night. More about that in a minute. Three quick (I think) stories:

ONE – Who’s your digga?

Current fascinations include airplanes (still), cranes (new), and “diggers” (FAVORITE). Driving around Singapore we’ve now gone from yelling “BUS!!” and “DECKA BUS!!!” that’s a double decker bus to you and me, to digger hunting. Now, I’m under the impression that the “digger” is actually called a backhoe (The one time I said this Tiffany slapped me, so I’m not sure what she thought I meant. I think she knows less about excavation than I do.), but the boys call it a digger and I’ve learned not to push their vocabulary since the “parliamentary procedure” incident.

Now Singapore is a city under construction EVERYWHERE, so it’s a digger rich environment. We drive from place to place with the boys digger hunting. It sounds something like this.

Liam, “Where’s a digger, where’s a digger.” It’s Liam. Nothing can be said once.

Graeme, spotting his quarry, exclaims “DIGGA” and waves a fist pointing.

Shouts of “digger/digga” continue until we lose sight.

Liam, “Mo, more digger? Mo more digger?” Wait a decent interval and switch to the other question.

TWO – Or lose it!

Context is a powerful thing. When your children go from just saying words to saying them at the right time based on external events, it’s a bit shocking. When they use your wife’s diction and inflection, it’s hilarious. This is another driving story.

Graeme hates for the car to be stopped. He’s two. He points through the front windshield and whines, “gooooooooowwwww…” as though he were the last man out of Abu Ghraib. Under most circumstances we can accommodate him, but red lights are a pesky thing. Tiffany has taught him that we have to stop when we see the red lights and although he doesn’t like it he has accepted it. Through the weeks, he’s taken to yelling “Geen” at them and more recently “Geen go.” To which I usually reply, “Senor, I am not a gringo.”

The funniest though was a couple of weeks ago when we were pulling away as a light turned green. A car on a side street pulled out in front of me to which prompted me to ask, “What are you doing?” I don’t know if it was the frustration in my voice or the fact that we slowed down, but Graeme chimed right in behind me, “Come on, buddy. You move it!” We about died.

THREE – Let me count the ways

So we found these Duplo Diggers at Toys R Us and we had to buy them. They were expensive, but since certain grandmothers have purchased every other toy ever made I figured why deprive them of this one. I put them together Wednesday night, but Tiffany waited until I got home Thursday to give them to the boys. They loved them. We video taped.

An hour later when dinner time came you would have thought we were amputating their hands and feet from all the screaming and crying. It took forever to get Liam upstairs to wash his hands. He had a complete melt down that didn’t stop until he realized that someone had put a bowl full of spaghetti in front of him (there are odd parallels between our former dog Zoe and my sons). The rest of dinner, bath time and bed preparation went without incident and I thought we had escaped any further digger fall out.

Once the boys were in bed, I realized this was going to be an unusual night. Graeme was not settling down and falling asleep quickly like he usually does. Liam wasn’t getting out of bed as usual, but he did start his verbal inventory. I kept one ear on him for humor and I repeatedly settled Graeme back down. Liam didn’t disappoint.

Tiffany has been teaching them to say “I love you.” I love you mommy. I love you daddy. I love you Graeme (said by Liam). I love you Liam (said by Graeme). I love, " I love you Elmo".

That was not the one I heard at bed time though, well, not the last one. I put Graeme back on the bed, and looked up in time to see Liam with Elmo across his head and hear, “I love Elmo.” And then, “love the digger.” He fell asleep seconds later in record time. Graeme was up for another half hour.

To Sleep Perchance to Dream

2008-05-21T15:20:00.002+08:00

I’ve been home for almost two solid weeks and that has dictated some changes in routine around the house. I used to help with bath time and tucking them in before leaving Tiffany to take over and manage the process of putting the boys back in bed repeatedly until they fell asleep. This process was taking anywhere from thirty minutes on a good night to an hour and a half when the boys felt like partying.

It’s kind of a frustrating process. They get up; you lay them down and cover them with a blanket. Rinse and then repeat, and repeat, and repeat. Per the Super Nanny method, after the first two times we say nothing and don’t make eye contact.

Combine this every night for a week or two with our wake up call, usually between 6 and 6:30 am, and some bizarre middle of the nigth screams and wake ups, and it makes for a very tired mommy with little time to do the things she wants or needs to around the house. So, I bravely volunteered to take bedtime duty. I have learned some very important things in the process:

1. The most time I’ve ever spent putting them down is 30 minutes. Apparently, I have not paid the required cover charge and as such do not get the special floor show that is presented for mommy. I’m not sure if I’m thankful or hurt. Mommy isn’t sure if she feels special or irritated.

2. Graeme has the sleep gene. He’s out in ten minutes, regardless of what his brother is doing.

3. Liam has the talk gene. He inventories his entire vocabulary and the day’s activities before finally screaming “mommy, mommy” and falling asleep. This has happened most nights for the week I’ve been putting them down.

Phrases I’ve heard during Liam’s routine:

“Bye-bye mommy, bye-bye Elmo, bye-bye daddy, bye-bye garbage truck.” At least I know where I stand. Somewhere between a three foot stuffed monster and the local sanitation team.

“Where’s the mommy, where’s the mommy, where’s the mommy…” Rinse and repeat.

“Mommy’s a sleepin’, mommy’s a sleepin’, mommy’s asleepin’.” This led to some controversy as I thought it was a great answer to Liam’s earlier question. Apparently mommy has used similar psychology and told them that they have to go to sleep because she can’t go to sleep until they do. Lesson learned early, coordinate your lies.

I can’t really explain this last one, but it happened two nights in a row. The first time I wasn’t sure I heard him right, but the next night I went and got his mother when it started and she has confirmed my translation.

“Elmo’s itchy butt.” I think he's just randomly putting together words he knows since there was a similar comment about mommy, but I was banned from blogging about that one.

On with the Potty Count...

2008-05-21T14:55:00.002+08:00

Well, Liam is six for seven the past week using the mini potty before bath time. He's very pleased with himself because we let him flush it. He's appears to be preparing for an NFL career as he is perfecting his touch down dance. The only real problem is that his end zone celebration involves crouching and pointing excitedly to his handy work. He tries to get as close as he can when he points, up to and including splashing in it. This has only happened once so far, but needless to say Mommy and I are now on our guard.

We haven't seemed to find a similar window of opportunity with Graeme. We suspect he's taking care of business durning dinner time and unprepared to contribute further at bath time. Neither of them is really telling us when they need to go, so they're not ready for actual potty training yet, but getting them into the routine at this point probably isn't a bad idea.

Shake, Rattle and Roll…

2008-05-14T15:48:00.014+08:00

Several people have asked, so I’m letting everyone know that the earthquake in central China was not felt in Singapore. I know it looks close on a map, but the flying time from Singapore to Hong Kong is about three and a half hours, so imagine people in Atlanta trying to feel an earthquake in Salt Lake City. No chance. No impact in our house. No aftershocks.

So we converted the cribs to toddler beds when Liam decided to try sky diving over the top rail (his mother caught him mid-air). The matching toddler bed rails we bought and brought to Singapore with us were the wrong model. Tiffany bought portable bed rails.

These were not designed with crib mattresses or my sons in mind. The weight of the mattress is what holds the rail in place, IF the child is laying on the mattress. The rail becomes quite mobile when the child bucks his hips and drives both heels into the rail while in mid air (Liam). It also moves easily when the child is jumping up and down on the mattress while holding on to the remaining full sized crib rail (Graeme). Tiffany gave up when they tried to ride "choo-choo rail" (more about choo-choo variants when Tiffany finally blogs) by sitting on them and managed to fall out of the bed with the rail underneath them and the mattress landing on top. No one was injured; no one under three feet tall anyway.

We now have cool Dr. Seuss looking furniture from the IKEA Mamut series.

This should last the boys until we return to the US. Keeping them in the these beds (and frankly the converted cribs with a rail) is a matter of either standing in a corner of the room and putting them back in bed every time the get out or begin "shenanigans," or standing just outside the cracked door and peering through the gap and doing the same thing. This process used to take an hour or two. Now it’s getting down to ten to fifteen minutes for Graeme and half an hour before Liam gives up. Mommy deserves a medal (another one).

They are smart and have learned what combinations of their limited vocabulary will be ignored and which will result in attention. Winners include:

1. “Poop, poop, poop.” This was not a bluff the last two nights.
2. “Dink uh wadder, dink uh wadder.” This is an old standby and almost always a fake.
3. “Huts, mouff huts,” alternately “hed hutts” this is accompanied by rubbing the appropriate body part. Cause and effect are at issue here. Of course your head hurts you were just banging it against the headboard.
4. “Medisen, medisen.” This is a hold over from their teething and recent illnesses, sometimes their like little crack addicts.
5. “Boogas, wear da boogas?” Oddly the answer to this is not in your nose. Liam is struggling with the “k” in books. He also is unwilling to allow for the possibility of a lone book, it is always “boogas” plural.

The other fun trick is that when they wake up in the middle of the night there is now nothing to stop them from getting out of bed and coming to visit, whine, demand ~~vodka~~ water, or a fresh diaper. Since the toddler beds arrived each night has brought a different permutation of this at about 4 am, with Graeme getting put back down falling dead asleep and then springing awake like some electrified puppet five minutes later and repeating the cycle. Last night though, was different. I heard a squeak at about 3:30 that sounded like someone being restless. So I went to look and head off the intruder before he could wake his mother and get us both in trouble.

As I cracked the door I realized that our Ikea purchases were a waste of money. Both toddler beds stood empty. The comforters and pillows were on the floor next to them (crash mats for sleeping rolls) were also unoccupied. May be it was an aftershock from the China earthquake, but Liam was two feet from his bed asleep on the bare floor and Graeme was three feet from his asleep on the rug. I’ll probably get some grandma scolding for this, but I left them alone (I was too tired to take a picture and I know I’ll get grandpa scolding for that). Putting them back in bed would only have been an invitation for them to wake up. Besides, they came and saw us on their own three hours later. I always thought the phrase pitter patter of little feet was cute… not so much.

It Happened ONE Night

2008-05-07T17:11:00.003+08:00

Based on the earlier post, you can imagine we’ve been reading lots of potty training books. Yes this is going to be one of those posts; those not interested can link out here or here (if you’re looking for Gable and Colbert).

Reading lots of books and sitting on the portable mini potties. At bath time on Thursday (which was Labor Day national holiday in Singapore) we were stripping the lads down and wiping them off, when I noticed Liam head for his special corner and turn his back. He then looked down and stuck his hips forward, and I screamed “get the potty.” The hilarity of tripping, fumbling, falling and shouting that followed defies words, but suffice it to say that it was enough to create a shy bladder for Liam.

In any case, we got him naked and then let him sit down before proceeding to ~~torture~~ brush his brother’s teeth. I was running the bath water and Tiffany was brushing teeth when I glanced over at Liam, who was grinning like a fool. I raised a skeptical eyebrow and then spotted the little yellow puddle in the potty beneath him. I was so shocked that it took me a minute to say, “Honey, he did it.” She was so shocked it took another minute for her to understand what I was saying. Once she did, our immediate focus became getting him to stop reaching into to bowl and investigating what he had done.

After the applause stopped Liam looked so startled that I was afraid he might never do it again. So far I’ve been right.

Weighing In

2008-05-07T15:58:00.001+08:00

In this corner…

Weighing in at 13 kilos (28.6 pounds for you Americans) and towering at 88 centimeters (2 feet 10.6 inches) in the red Elmo trunks and “panda like” eyes… Liam returns from his two year check up.

In the other corner…

Weighing in at 12.6 kilos (27.7 pounds) and building a mowhawk to catch his brother at 87 centimeters (2 feet 10.3 inches) in the blue Monkey trunks (I know monkeys don’t have trunks – elephants do) with a burning desire to clean… Graeme also gets back from the doctor.

And Another Thing

2008-04-29T08:27:00.005+08:00

Just a quick note to update some recent developments:

1. Liam peed all over the floor again last night. We're moving a toddler potty into the bathroom at bath time. I'm not optimistic, but it's all we've got.

2. Additional Carl suggestions that the authors were not willing to post themselves:

Carl's Bitches (don't know how we missed this one)
Carl and Youth in Asia (an oldy but a favorite)

Hit or Miss…

2008-04-28T10:12:00.005+08:00

I meant to write about this a month ago, but I was hoping there’d be a repeat performance to tell you about rather than just a “one shot” deal. For those of you squeamish about bodily functions (which seems a staple of baby blogging), I suggest you link out now here or here, depending on your preferences.

We know it’s too early to expect any real progress on potty training, but the boys are showing signs of interest or at least curiosity. While they have never seen the Barnum and Bailey Circus for comparison, daddy in the bathroom is clearly the “greatest show on earth,” particularly when waterworks are involved. In any case, about a month ago Liam developed a new habit in the bath time routine. When I’m home, I strip them down and take off their diapers while mommy brushes their teeth. Since brushing takes longer than disrobing two toddlers, even wriggly ones, I also run the bath water before Tiffany’s done with both of them. This leaves one or both of them some unsupervised time.

Liam usually entertains himself, but recently we get suspicious if he stands in the corner by the door. We have good reason. Every time he goes to this corner he turns back to the room and lets fly. The only thing louder than his shriek of joy is his mother’s shriek of horror, or perhaps Graeme’s giggles of delight. After a short burst, Liam stops to survey his work, but we have learned this does not mean he is finished. If we do nothing (other than start to clean up the damage) he waits a minute and then fires again, usually on the unsuspecting clean up crew. They find this even more amusing that a target free shot. We’ve learned.

About the second time I witnessed this, we swung into action. I grabbed Liam and swooped him over to the toilet. His next shot was controlled and “on target.” He seemed to really enjoy that and flushing afterwards, which makes his unwillingness to repeat it all the more baffling. We’ve got him in the corner both before and after his first shot and he simply gets stage fright once I get him to the toilet regardless of whether I hold him or we get him a stool to stand on.

We know he has to go. You can read it in his eyes. Well that and the minute he hits the bath water you can see the rivulet of current in the water. Mommy is thrilled by this, particularly when his brother starts trying to drink the bath water a few minutes later.

Bad Dog, Worse Daddy…

2008-04-25T10:27:00.002+08:00

To paraphrase Count Rugen, “You've got an overdeveloped sense of [humor]. It's going to get you into trouble someday.” Well in fairness, it’s already gotten me in trouble through the years. It’s the trouble it’s going to cause for my sons that concerns me. Graeme already has quite a bit of devilishness in him: from grinning at you as he does exactly what you just told him not to, to throwing food a mommy during dinner, to picking up his water bottle and shaking in upside down to “make it rain” on the floor (much to mommy’s delight). Liam is the sleeper, he’s not yet indulged in rampant misbehavior aside from refusal to stay in bed, but I expect that he will be the sarcastic sneaky cynical one. Let’s face it, it’s in the genetic code on both sides (I’m looking at you grandpas Tom and Al).

I can’t really blame it all on the Grandpa’s though. I expect that it will be the things I do and say that contribute most directly. Take for example my reaching my breaking point with “Carl”. There’s a wonderful (?) series of children’s books written by Alexandra Day about a Rottweiler named Carl. Written is actually too kind, they’re more directed and drawn by her and written by parents. Each book begins with the mother departing for some function or activity and leaving baby or toddler Madeline in the care of her Rottweiler. I know, it sounds like and ABC movie of the week recipe for disaster, but somehow Carl overcomes his carnivorous nature and outshines any caretaker short of a grandma. Baby/toddler Madeline goes shopping, swimming, to a petting zoo, and even a masquerade party all without mishap. That said, I hope no one in the less educated community mistakes this for a childcare manual or DFACS is in for a sharp increase in cases.

In any case, my real issue here is twofold. First, Ms. Day’s laziness (or perhaps mine). She writes one sentence on the first page of the book setting the scene and then one on the last page lauding Carl. In between are pages of color pictures that the reader (me!) has to make up a story about. Mommy is pretty creative and reliable, but with enough variety that the boys LOVE the Carl books. Daddy sticks to the general facts laid out in the pictures, unless it’s the twenty-fifth reading of the day and he’s only picked up the book to stem the squeaking tide of cries of “Kawal, kawal.” The demand for repetition is issue number two.

When I’ve reached my limit of Carl, I tend to editorialize about what’s happening. For example, mommy was not amused when “Carl’s Masquerade” (wherein Carl and baby follow mommy and daddy to a masquerade party) became a swingers event. Like the boys know the difference. However, I’ve given in and agreed to reign in my creativity for the sake of not having our sons expelled from preschool down the road (we’ll let the biting take care of that). What I continue to do, however, is day dream about grittier titles for Carl books that Ms. Day no doubt is working on this very moment. Here’s a comparison.

Ms. Day’s Titles:
Good Dog Carl, Carl Goes Shopping, Carl Goes to Daycare, Carl Pops-Up, Carl's Afternoon in the Park, Carl's Baby Journal, Carl's Birthday, Carl's Christmas, Carl's Masquerade, Carl Makes a ScrapBook, Follow Carl, My Puppy's Record Book, and Puppy Trouble

Daddy’s Titles:
Carl’s Crack House (I’m not stereotyping Rottweilers)
Carl and the Crips (No really)
Carl Meets Mike Vick (Okay, maybe)
Carl Gets Fixed
Carl’s Shock Collar
Carl Eats Yellow Snow
Carl’s Cannibalism (there’s an irritating yip-yip dog next door)
Carl and the Ladies from Decatur (some readers think Ms. Day already wrote this one)

On the Road

2008-04-23T08:50:00.001+08:00

Nope. Finished. Still sucks.

The twins have stolen Tiffany's computer and are holding it hostage for more "Dis, dis." I'm sure she'll blog as soon as we translate their request.

Burn a Little Brighter Now

2008-04-21T16:16:00.001+08:00

We interrupt this blog about children for something their father has got to get off his chest. One of my favorite song writers (I’d say he’s a favorite singer, by my wife has informed me that he cannot sing no matter how creative his lyrics) wrote “I read some Kerouac and it got me on the track to burn a little brighter now.” I’ve always wondered what inspiration he gained from Kerouac and what the mystery of “On the Road” was.

As some of you know I’ve been downloading books to my iPod and listening to them during my frequent travel (gift certificates to audible.com are much appreciated). I’m two thirds of the way through this American classic and I’m dumbfounded. I cannot figure out what the big deal is. He writes some creative descriptions, but this is not a novel that speaks to my soul. If something other than wandering from NYC to SFO and back getting drunk over the course of a decade doesn’t happen soon, I fear I will find myself as the only person in American that thinks Kerouac was a crank.

I have three theories on this:

1. I am just too old. Kerouac seems to be going about the whole nihilist thing that the American expatriates in Paris did in the 1930s. Hemmingway, Stein, et. al. I studied them when I was the right age to get their angst and appreciate the idea of deciding that since they couldn’t figure out what to stand for in life they would focus on standing for nothing. Kerouac just seems to be repeating that exercise in a less interesting way. I am so old that I want to slap Salvatore Paradise, tell him to get a honest job, get married, have a kid or two (not at the same time, we’ll spare him that drama) and realize that philosophical pretensions don’t necessarily preclude having a life. As my Junior English teacher said to me about a proposed Economics/Philosophy double major, “Oh, a philistine with a conscience.” (Ironically, I opted for just the philistine part in the long run).

2. I’m missing the point. Listening and reading are two different things. This production is pretty good, but it’s possible that the nuance of the written word is not translating. Or that there is some subtlety that has eluded my apparently ever-closing mind (see point 1 above for evidence). There is also the fact that I haven’t actually finished the book maybe it will have a “bang, wow” ending as Kerouac would say.

3. I need a field test. In 1984 my father gave me a book called Rabbit Run by John Updike to read with the request to let him know if it was as bad as he thought it was. It was. None the less, it made TIME magazine’s 100 Best English Novels from 1923 to 2005. I would try this with my sons, but one would destroy the book and use it for insulation and the other would simply try to eat it for having the audacity to not have pictures (see I got back on blog topic). Anybody want to read Kerouac and get back to me?

There are a few quotes I have found amusing and wanted to share. However, I doubt this is why “On the Road” is considered great literature. Yes, they are taken out of context but I laughed at them when I heard them in context.

“We made love under the tarantula.”

“We came down on him like a cloud, every one of us hungry, even Alfred, the crippled hitchhiker.”

Misnomers and Imperfections

2008-04-18T10:03:00.000+08:00

Talk is cheap. Graeme’s is cheaper than Liam’s. Some of the stuff they say is hilarious, both intentionally and unintentionally (examples below). Graeme however has become dangerous (not just from biting). He repeats everything he hears, although his pronunciation sometimes leaves a bit to be desired and some words are easier than others.

One of the few advantages of being a traveling daddy is that the boys are hearing their first bad words from mommy and not me. It’s pretty obvious who they learn which words from because Tiffany and I swear in very different ways. This is the kind of thing you never really notice until you start to hear it repeated in miniature. So far I’ve heard Graeme say “cwap” (crap) and “bastar” (should be obvious). We’re going to have to work harder on editing ourselves.

My favorite though, is accidental. Graeme has discovered the concept of stuck. He lets us know if he’s stuck by saying that he’s stuck or calling to us and saying stuck, but he can’t say it. The verbal result is repetition of either “I suck, I suck” or “mommy suck, mommy suck.”

The other day, Tiffany was cautioning Liam against some kind of lunch time shenanigan and called him “Liam Michael.” Now, Graeme struggles with saying “Liam” but “Michael” apparently struck his fancy and was phonetically viable. For the rest of the day, Graeme followed Liam around shouting, “Micha, micha.” Liam just kept looking at him with an expression that said, “what the heck are you talking about.” It also may be that Graeme though it was a word used to scold Liam. Who knows.

Due to his frequent biting of Liam when he’s tired or protecting his turf, Tiffany has taught Graeme to he is sorry (“I sawwy”) when he does something that makes Liam cry. Yesterday Liam was frolicking on the bed and fell and whacked his head on the screen of mommy’s laptop. Needless to say this resulted in much wailing. Graeme came running in around the corner from the bathroom, looked and Liam woefully and said, “I sawwy.” I’m fairly sure he doesn’t understand why mommy wants him to say it.

Other humorous pronunciations:

Fwaug – frog
Cack – cat
Goosh - goose
Choo-choo – train

Technical Difficulties

2008-04-16T11:42:00.002+08:00

Well, not really technical, but domestic difficulties. We’ve experienced the following chaos in the order indicated below. As a result, Tiffany hasn’t been able to sleep much let alone blog. Daddy’s going to try to stand in for a little while here.

Chaos:

1. Swapped out cribs for toddler beds. The madness is not longer contained at bed time… (father in China)
2. Both sons sick with virus. (father home)
3. Gone off pacifiers as they’ve chewed through all but two. It was time. (father in HKG)
4. Maid is terminated.
5. Both sons contract “Hand, Foot and Mouth Disease” (HFMD). They're okay now (father in China)
6. Wife gets flu. (father in HKG, but came home immediately)

Our new maid started on Monday, so things should get better soon. If the boys would get back to sleeping we can turn the corner…

The Lords of the Dance

2008-03-28T13:31:00.005+08:00

Within the past couple of weeks, the boys have displayed a new skill while in potentially dangerous areas of the house. This began with Liam standing at the top of the stairs, holding on to the iron railing, and shuffling his feet while hopping. He looked like a tiny Michael Flatley, the Irish dancer, sans high-waisted black pants, headband, and dancing shoes. Graeme quickly caught on, since I was obviously entertained by this little show. Graeme decided to inaugurate his dancing career in the just-drained bathtub, while holding on to the handles on either side of the tub. I was again amused, though I had to hide my smiles while telling Graeme that he shouldn't dance in a wet, slick bathtub (I had to at least try to be responsible while stifling the laughter).

Then the funniest moment of the month occurred last night when bath time was over (I don't get out much). I lifted Liam out of the tub and dried him off. Still naked, he grabbed his huge, size-of-a-cat rubber duck, hugged it tightly to his chest, and danced his little butt off with a serious look on his face. I laughed so hard I almost cried. Riverdance, they're ready for an audition, and they even have appropriate names.

So Much to Say (apologies to Dave Matthews)

2008-03-28T13:30:00.000+08:00

Random things said by adults in my home in the past few weeks:

Stop licking the toilet! - said twice, yes, twice by me, within 72 hours. I bought a step stool for the powder room so the boys could stand on it to reach the sink and wash their hands. While Liam was at the sink, Graeme started licking the top of the closed toilet seat lid. A few days later, he did the same thing.

It's not like I have sh*t hanging off my hands! - said by Sean when I asked him to wash his hands after handling the outside of a poopy diaper.

Oh, you have on your halo again? - said by me when Liam put a towel ring (hung at waist height) over his head in my bathroom. This is a favorite activity of his, one I find amusing since he's usually being more of a devil around the time he puts the "halo" on.

Liam, this would work better if you would stop hitting me in the head with the hat - said by Sean while wiping Graeme's butt and being bludgeoned in the head with a rain hat made for a rubber duck the size of a cat.

Yes, "mommy poo poo"! - enthusiastically said by me after Liam used these words to tell me he had just pooped.

Do you want to watch Daddy pee? - said by me a few times recently since we're introducing the concept of using the potty instead of diapers. I think it's important for them to see that eventually they'll be standing up to pee in the toilet, so they have watched Sean pee and they appear fascinated. Probably too much information for most people, but here it is anyway.

Choo choo eggs? - said by me in response to Liam moving a piece of scrambled eggs around the table and saying "choo choo". Both boys love trains, which they call choo choos, and they have started making choo choos with several different types of food.

And a few amusing phrases from the boys:

Buttttsss!!!!!! - said by Graeme whenever he sees the screen saver on my laptop, which is a picture of the boys at 10 months, standing naked facing away from the camera, so the first things you see when you look at the photo are two baby butts.

Cream, cream, cream (with Spanish trilled R's) - said urgently by Graeme while he rubs his arm as if to put on cream. This is a new way of saying that he wants to go outside, b/c we put on sunscreen before going out. Who knows why he trills the R's, though I'm not surprised considering his other accents.

Mommy Daddy - rapidly said by Graeme when Sean and I are both present and he's talking to one of us. It seems to work for him since it includes both of us, therefore increasing his chances that one of us will give him what he wants.

Daddy Honey - said by Graeme on occasion when talking about Sean. I call Sean honey sometimes, and obviously Graeme has picked up on this.

Peas? Tank choo! - said by Liam at the table to ask for more food. He still can't quite get the L in please. We're also working on the "thank you" coming after he's received the food and not before.

That's all for now. My goal is to have un-licked toilets this week!

Indoor Plumbing

2008-03-22T12:54:00.003+08:00

Another note from Sean:

So, I’ve been waiting to write this post since May of last year when we moved into our “house” in Singapore. Yes, I know we haven’t sent anyone pictures and that’s because we haven’t taken any when it’s not a twin hurricane disaster. Usually because we’re still cleaning (by we I mean people other than me), recovering, or sleeping. They’re on the list. The point is that I had to have a picture for this one and I took it today.

Our house is Singapore is great. It’s what they call “semi-detached” which means we have one common wall with another home (this has led to some amusing moments). Sharing a wall isn’t really a big deal here though because the walls are made of stone and concrete covered in plaster. Not a lot is getting through. As for the house, think of the nicest duplex you’ve ever seen. Add marble floors and vaulted ceilings. Shrink the kitchen 70%. Put a separate “aircon” in each room. It’s 2700 square feet and four bedrooms. There are six toilets, which is likely another post. We live well for expats and very well for most people here.

The first week we were in the house I was laying in our bed in the master bedroom looking at the ceiling, when I noticed something odd. Now, our entire bedroom is an odd shape. It’s a large “L” with the bathroom taking up the cutout that would make it a rectangle. The door is at the top of the “L” and the entrance to the bathroom is at bottom around the corner. There is also a slight inset where the windows are at the base of the “L”. This is where I was looking at the ceiling. I noticed a rectangular shape (see top picture) coming down from the roof to the corner of the inset and then dropping the height of the room along the wall (see middle picture).

Based on the size and shape of the rectangular tube, the first thought that came to me was, “Is that a gutter?” But I knew that couldn’t be right. Who cuts a hole in a concrete roof to run a rain gutter from outside our watertight home into the house? Who would run that same rain gutter the length of a wall and then cut another hole through concrete and stone to pipe it back outside? The answer is whoever built our house. Seriously, look at the pictures. We got confirmation after our first big rain. It was like having our own indoor waterfall sound effect.

The topper for me is the bottom of the gutter. You’ll notice that there is a slant on the entry from the roof. Well, that’s not the case for the exit (see bottom picture), which adds another question. Who pipes water out with a square turn? I just hope we aren’t living here when the bottom finally rusts out. This will stop being amusing if we have to deal with the process of replacing it.

Dadatouille

2008-03-09T21:42:00.003+08:00

So, there’s this movie that you’ve seen if you have kids old enough to see movies last year. If you don’t, this one may be a loss for you. The movie is called Ratatouille and it’s basically about this rat who learns to be a gourmet chef by watching TV. As it later unfolds, he makes his way to Paris and ends up helping the unknowing, illegitimate son of the deceased TV chef restore his restaurant and family name to culinary greatness. He does this by hiding under the man’s hat and controlling him like a puppeteer by pulling his hair in various ways and directions. Rodent-driven hilarity ensues…

No, this entry is not a movie review, it’s about Graeme. Graeme has to be viewed much the way communism was viewed by the US in the 1960’s. You can’t control him, you can only contain him. One surefire way I’ve found to prevent his immediate proximity from becoming a swath of destruction is to pick him up. Way up. He’s gotten heavy and I’ve gotten out of shape, so there’s no holding him on your hip (unless you're his mommy - T). Also, he refuses to grip with his legs, so if you try that you have to support his whole dead weight. Trust me, he’s heavy for 26 pounds.

All that said, I’ve taken to putting him up on my shoulders. He loves it. He loves it when I stand in front of the mirror and he can see himself. He loves it when I jump up and down. He loves it when I do the “bionic spin” (my brother Jeff may remember this from childhood. The bionic spin is that game we’ve all played where you spin around and around in circles until you stop and you are so dizzy you fall down and laugh hysterically at yourself. Admit it, you’ve done it too.) Graeme does not like the dizzy part or the falling, but he hasn’t puzzled out cause and effect yet. The things I’m getting away with right now…

While he loves this game and it prevents me from herniating and him from escaping to go build and detonate a nuclear device (he’s an interesting mix of creative and destructive for a two year old), he doesn’t fully trust that I’ve got a hold on him. Herein lies the tale. Graeme also likes to pull hair. Now, my hair is short, but my son is committed. He buries a hand in either side of my scalp and takes that powerful grip that only a child can have on two fists full of hair and pulls. Sometimes he pulls so hard I have to change direction or react in some other way just like the chef with the rat, thus Dadatouille. This might be one you have to see to really appreciate.

An Apple a Day – The Hard Way

2008-03-09T21:15:00.002+08:00

There are some things our sons do that one of us finds more amusing than the other. This is usually based on who it annoys more and that is usually based on who has to deal with it more often. Given my travel schedule this leads to weekends filled with me laughing at things while my wife glares at me and says, “Don’t encourage him/them,” through gritted teeth. Sometimes I can’t tell if she’s trying not to laugh or not to kill one of us (probably me).

So, the other day I’m sitting on the couch with my lap top (it was either a presentation or email I don’t want to remember which) during feeding time at the zoo when I hear Graeme in mantra mode, “Apple, apple, apple, apple, apple…” ad nauseum. This prompts the clueless commuter father quip of the afternoon, “They eat apples?”

Tiffany’s patient reply, “Yes.”

“What kind,” I asked. Honestly I had no idea.

“This kind.” She says as she holds up a chunk of watermelon.

“Uh, that’s not an apple.”

“I know.”

While the boys' vocabulary is exploding right now (today I got to hear “raining, cool, pool, doh!” and others), we’re apparently having a comprehension issue with fruits and vegetables. All fruit is now declared an apple, and based on dinner last night either their mother has discovered some kind of orange beans or they’re declaring carrots and all else vegetable as “bean, bean, bean.” God help you if there’s one on the floor. All other activity must stop until it’s been picked up.

I think the boys may be using tones to differentiate the precise meaning of words like they do in Chinese, but Tiffany and I don’t speak secret twin language. All I know is that this is not what the doctor had in mind when he said an apple a day.

The many accents of my children

2008-03-09T20:14:00.006+08:00

Bizarre pronunciations, courtesy of G & L during the past couple of weeks:

Aben = open in Graeme-speak, also Danish for open

Cah = car for both boys, in a Boston accent

Bobby = baby for Graeme; he's switched from southern "baybee" to British policeman

Pewp = poop for Graeme, only occasionally; sometimes he actually says poop

Uhhhhhhhh, ohh = uh oh, in Liam-speak, when he drops something or sees something out of sorts

Beard = bird for Graeme

Nooooo = no for Graeme, in a North Dakota accent

Nose = nose for Graeme, also in a Fargo accent

Toes = toes for Graeme, again with Fargo (when did he visit this part of the midwest, or, heaven help me, see the movie?)

Uppah = airplane for Liam

Cack = cat for Graeme

Buh = butt for Liam

Butttt = butt for Graeme; evidently one drops the consonant, and the other makes up for it

Mouse!!!!! = mouse from Goodnight Moon, when Liam finds him

Elmo = elbow for both boys, or Elmo if they are pointing towards the TV, begging to watch Elmo's World

Mom-o = me, one afternoon when the boys were discussing Elmo and Mommy at the same time

aight = light; the little gangstas still haven't learned how to say this correctly

Their current favorite word is bubbles, which they somehow say correctly. All bubbles are great things to them, including the liquid kind you create with a wand, soap bubbles from washing hands or hair, and pictures of any type of bubbles in books. Lately, every night before bed, we read a story called Time for Bed. On one page, a fish blows bubbles, and the boys go nuts repeating "bubbles" quite loudly. I'm trying to teach them the concept of using their inside voices, so I will whisper "bubbles", and they will whisper it back. Very cute. Sometimes they can't control themselves and shout it again. Not so cute, but still funny.

Freedom!

2008-03-02T12:13:00.002+08:00

Ah yes, the fun has begun. Liam's poop schedule had somehow switched to bedtime over this past week, and he did not want to go to sleep after I changed him Friday night. He decided to climb out of his crib, which he had tried to do occasionally in the past but couldn't quite make it. Luckily I was still in the room, because he came out head first, laughing. I was in front of Graeme's crib when Liam did it, but I managed to move and catch him when his head was about 4 inches from the hardwood floor. Thanks, senseis, for my training, which helped me develop quick reflexes and further develop some decent speed.

My little darling, who is normally a great sleeper, decided he would not settle down in his crib with me watching to make sure he fell asleep. If he had fallen asleep, I was then going to grab a ton a pillows just for the night since Graeme somehow fell asleep during Liam's show and I didn't want to wake him. Anyway, Liam thought it was great fun to jump on the bed and throw Snug, his stuffed dog, across the room. I finally gave up and took him to my room rather than take a chance on him breaking his neck or waking up G-man with mattress moving and the resulting running around the room, etc. Liam eventually fell asleep in my bed, just over 2 hours past his regular bedtime. That little kid somehow took up the whole king-sized bed. He moves more than I do as he sleeps. Of course, Sean is in China during this all of this fun.

Saturday I moved the mattresses to the floor across from one another and tried to wheel the cribs out of their room so I can convert them to toddler beds. Of course, they won't fit through the door, so I realize I'll have to work on them in the room, which has a skinny rectangular shape. Before I even start that, I get the matching toddler bed rails we special-ordered out of storage and open the boxes. These are short rails in the same color wood and design as the crib, so they'll keep the boys from falling out of the bed and look nice too. Though the wood color is right and the box has the correct name of the crib on it, something seems a little off. Internet research confirms that Babies R Us ordered rails with the right name, but the wrong style. I hadn't opened the box when I received them last year just before we moved because I didn't need them then. Yay! I realize I will now have several choices: leave the mattresses on the floor for a while and completely take the cribs apart to remove them; make the toddler day bed anyway by taking off the dropside rail and buying portable crib rails; or take the cribs apart and buy two beds that will somehow fit in this narrow room. After last night's shenanigans, which I'll remark on next, I'm opting for #2, since I finally located a store with portable crib rails in stock supposedly. I'll be taking the boys this afternoon to buy them once they get up from their nap.

Liam was super tired yesterday from being up Friday night, so he had no problem napping with his mattress on the floor. I put Graeme in the pack n play in the guest room for his nap as I always do. They slept 3 hours, so they caught up a little. Last night, though, they went crazy at bedtime. I read them their usual story which makes them drowsy, gave them hugs and kisses, and placed each one on his mattress. They immediately got up and started jumping around. Graeme ran from his mattress to Liam's and flopped down, then they both ran to Graeme's and flopped down, then they discovered they could reach their books and stuffed animals on the bookshelf, etc. Eventually I put the two mattresses together surrounded by pillows, and Graeme started to get really tired (an hour after the story). Liam, however, continued to act like someone gave him caffeine and a huge piece of cake. He would start climbing on Graeme, who was trying to calm down, and Graeme would pull his hair, which caused Liam to cry. Liam, in his loony state, could not match cause with effect and kept bothering Graeme. I tried leaving the room a couple of times, thinking maybe it was just a show for me, but both of them followed me. Finally, 2 hours and 15 minutes after their usual 7 pm bedtime, they went to sleep while I watched from near the door.

Graeme woke up at 6:15 this morning, and instead of yelling "mommy, mommy, mommy" from his crib, he just opened the door, ran into my room, and yelled it in my face. We just stayed home this morning because I knew they would be cranky. They were zombies today an hour before our usual lunchtime. I ended up feeding them at 11 and they were asleep by 11:40. Sounds like Graeme is awake now, so all for now. Think of me when you're sleeping snugly in your bed tonight!

Planes, Trains, and Automobiles

2008-02-21T19:29:00.020+08:00

Well, wonders never cease. I've finally started writing again. It's been a very long time, so I'll get right to it. All of us left S'pore for the U.S. the end of October so I could attend my beloved Nana's funeral. Upon her passing, Sean and I decided that the boys and I should go to the states and stay with my mom for November and part of December, until the four of us could be reunited and begin our already-planned December trips visiting family. Sean watched the boys while I attended the funeral, then drove to Atlanta a couple of days later to check in with work there before flying back to S'pore. He flew back to Atlanta the second week in December, briefly visited us and his parents in South Carolina, drove to Atlanta to work for a couple of days, flew to Pittsburgh to attend his grandfather's funeral, flew back to Atlanta, then drove to Warner Robins to meet us before driving to Orlando for a Disney visit. Then we drove back through Warner Robins on our way to South Carolina for Christmas, then to Atlanta for a few days before leaving. Sean was exhausted, and I was exhausted from adjusting the boys' sleeping the first two weeks of November and doing my own traveling with them.

The boys enjoyed playing with their many grandmas and grandpas.
Things they loved:
Being picked up a lot and kissed by grandparents
Watching planes fly overhead in Georgia and Texas
Playing with bubbles with my mom and Sean's mom
"Cleaning" my mom's office and climbing on stacks of paper
Doing laundry, aka using the beep-beep machine
Running around my mom's house with their poppers
Having stroller races with their baby dolls
Climbing on playground equipment in three states
Checking out cool vintage hotrods at a cruise-in
Feeding dogs not-so-secretly from the table
Christmas decorations, especially outdoor lights and indoor trees
Playing the piano with my dad
Dancing to the Stones and Clapton
Watching a cattle drive in Texas
Riding Small World and carousels at Disney and Universal
Hanging out with their friend Sam in Orlando
Playing with real trains during Christmas with Sean's dad
Opening presents
Watching planes take off and land at the many airports we visited
Reading time with grandparents
Wonderful Mexican food in Texas (ok, that's me)

Things they didn't love:
Long plane rides (oh wait, that's me and Sean)
Long sleeves, at first. They hadn't worn long sleeves in months until we returned to the U.S., so they kept pulling at the sleeves, trying to take them off
Stomach viruses causing them to poop like newborns (5 or 6 times in 24 hours for several days!)
Napping for the first couple of days in new places
Getting wet on the One Fish, Two Fish ride at Universal

All right, that's it for a quick summary. We survived the traveling, and spent the first few weeks of January adjusting to Singapore time. I took the opportunity to change them to one nap, dropping the morning nap. This allowed us to join the American Women's Association Tuesday morning playgroup and the Twins Plus every-other-Wednesday playgroup, and to start a gym class on Thursdays. They continue to enjoy Kindermusik on Monday mornings. Sounds like a lot, but they're doing well and socializing with other kids in different settings. The classes are one hour each, and the playgroups are 1 & 1/2 hours, so we're not gone too long, and we still have plenty of fun at home and on our outings around Singapore.

That's all for now. Next up: lots of talking (Graeme's new word today: waffle), funny stuff from Sean, and the many accents of my children.

Seuss Land Carousel *Climbing the paper at Nana's workplace

You shall not pass!*Love the poppers

I don't want to touch the horn*Trains!!!!

Baybee doll's got religion

2007-09-25T20:19:00.000+08:00

More success - Liam is now walking. He started on the day he turned 17 months, at Kindermusik. I guess he got tired of watching his brother and other toddlers walk around the room to more easily find the drums, shakers, and other supplies. It makes a difference when you can see what's on low tabletops. He's now walking most of the time, though if he really needs something that second he crawls very quickly. He can't run yet like his brother, after all.

Speaking of running, it appears that Graeme thinks it's funny to run away from me now. Of course I catch him, but he still laughs. I'm trying to teach them to eat their snacks at their table in the playroom instead of the floor, and they are mostly successful. However, sometimes they must take a cracker or other snack and go to the other side of the room as fast as they can. Testing mommy is fun, evidently. The first signs of the terrible twos, perhaps?

I've now seen one of my sons actually shaking with joy. I decided to try coloring with the boys the other day after a three month hiatus. The first try mostly consisted of me grabbing crayons from their mouths, so I figured I'd wait awhile 'til the next session. This time, I cut a few pages from a coloring book and taped them to the kids' table. I showed them how to color, and gave them each a crayon. After a minute or so of them tapping the crayon on the paper, they got the hang of longer strokes. When he viewed his creation, Liam got so excited that he was shaking, unable to speak, with his little mouth forming an "o" while holding the crayon in his fist. He continued to color for a few minutes more, then put the crayon in his mouth, as did his brother. No surprise there. At least this time I had something to show Sean when he got home from work.

Their latest words include ball, balloon (almost the same sound), go, and up. New activities other than coloring include a strange form of toddler tag, beating their mop and broom together like swords, and rolling around on our new rugs. I took them to Toys R Us two days ago without the stroller and let them walk around with much steering and some hand-holding. Surprisingly they didn't pull everything off the shelves. They were probably too excited by their new foam swords, which hurt much less than the plastic mop and broom.

The cultural funny of the past two weeks goes to Dasem, our Indonesian housekeeper. Dasem is good-natured, and she'll laugh at the boys when they do something hilarious, which is often. She doesn't usually say funny things though, because her English isn't so good. She knows enough to get by with household and childcare tasks, but other than that, not so much. I'll be sending her to English courses this January. Anyway, the boys were playing with bandanas, and she took one and put it around the babydoll's head, holding it underneath the doll's chin, and said, "look, the baby has become Muslim", and then giggled. I laughed for a full minute. Dasem and I had recently talked about the head scarves many Muslim women wear over here. The few Indonesian housekeepers I've met don't wear them, though. I guess Baybee doll is safe from a career of cleaning and cooking for others, as long as she's got the scarf.

And now a word from Sean...

2007-09-24T14:14:00.000+08:00

Décor of Despair

A few months ago Tiffany teased you with the tale of the furniture in the serviced apartment we lived in for the first month of our Singapore experience. Since I was the primary victim of the couch I thought I should be the one to share the story with you. Before I get started, one side note. When we came here for our look-see, Tiffany and I considered a high rise apartment with a beautiful view of the parks surrounding the Orchard Road area. It was nice, but cozy (1200 sq ft). We opted for something larger so the monkeys would have room to roam. It was a good choice. Our serviced apartment was about that size and the boys (not to mention Tiffany) would get stir crazy in about two or three hours, which fortunately was the gap between their naps. The best indicators of when they were going to melt was whether their toys were evenly distributed through every room and if Liam was stationed by the front door desperately trying to pry the door stopper off the wall.

Which brings me nicely back to furnishings, with only one more aside. Door stoppers in the US are springy and make a lovely “boing” when experimented with. The boys had just discovered these in the US before we left. In Singapore, door stoppers are about twice that size, solidly attached to the wall with a ball at the end, and magnetic (doors stay propped open until closed). This is less entertaining for the boys from a musical perspective, but provides a more significant challenge to their destructive powers. The score to date is door stops 0, twins 0. I hope they lose interest before they score.

Right, furniture. So we’ve never been fans of modern-style furniture. I’ve always found it pretentious and uncomfortable. I’m okay with the first, but the second gets in the way of my (and Liam’s) laziness. When we arrived at 6 am on our first Saturday in Singapore, the apartment had a variety of furnishings. Most importantly, it had two cribs and a double bed, but most strikingly a couch and rug in the den area. They almost defy description, but I’ll try and then you can look at the pictures.

The Rug of Clinging – Okay, the visual here was only part of the annoyance. Imagine a rug laid out with a tic-tac-toe board of concentric squares in seventies colors. Avocado, burnt orange, and brown. UG-LY. The part that really got to Tiffany was the material. I still don’t know what to call it (some sort of crazy, cheap acrylic-T), but the largest portion was made of a green material that shed fuzz, green fuzz, on every creature that came near it. I think I actually saw it leap onto Graeme at one point, but that wasn't necessary because guess where the boys chose to play? On the rug. The fuzz got EVERYWHERE, and we do mean everywhere, on the boys. Bath time became more like sheep sheering.

The Couch of Camouflage – When you see the pictures, you’ll wonder why I didn’t call it the Couch of Seizures, but the truth is that no one had a seizure. It’s basically a white loveseat with small black and white circles and squares. Ugly, but not dangerous or so I thought.

The couch was hosting hostile organisms. I got my first clue from the fact that every weekend when I got back from Hong Kong, I thought I’d caught a cold from the travel. I’d take Claritin and wait out the symptoms. By the time I was back in Hong Kong, I’d be better. The first week I spent entirely in Singapore, I began to suspect I might be allergic to something in the apartment. I was sitting on the loveseat working one night when I looked up and noticed a water stain on the plaster ceiling above me. It looked old, except for the middle which looked darker. I stood on the couch and did what any American man would do. I poked the spot.

One eyeful of plaster later I realized that part of the very high humidity in our apartment was not just from living on the Equator. It was then that I thought to myself that the couch had always seemed a little damp. Looking to my right like a man about to be killed in a horror film, I realized that the trail of spots on the wall were not a result of flinging food by the boys, but the journey of the mold from the ceiling leak to infest the arm of the couch I was standing upon. Insert scream of terror here. Oddly my microbiologist wife was not nearly as appalled as I was. I think it has something to do with who was actually having the allergic reaction (no, I just wasn't surprised based on the strange smell of the couch-T).

The story continues…I will post an epilogue to this one later.

Success

2007-09-05T20:00:00.000+08:00

Well, they finally did it. Two days ago both boys succeeded in climbing on the red couch by themselves, twice. They were quite pleased with themselves. They have done it a few times since, but still cannot make it up with every attempt.

Speaking of please, Graeme has started saying a few words, including please, though he says "peas". He uses this sometimes when he needs something done or when he wants me to open the door to the playroom so he can escape. My favorite word of his, though, is baby, which is pronounced "bay-bee" with a bit of a southern drawl. My southern relatives will be heartened to know that the boys will have a slight accent like what is left of mine after living in Atlanta (which is not really southern anymore) for years. Graeme likes to hold and feed the bay-bee doll, which he will then throw across the room.

Graem has also begun feeding me bites of his snacks. The boys usually have some Cheerios or Oatmeal Squares for morning snack, and he'll walk up to me if I'm sitting on the floor and shove a piece of cereal in my mouth. He thinks this is hilarious. At least it tastes good.

Liam is not talking so much but he is experimenting with sounds. His latest is the shushing noise, which he can't quite get without spitting a little. Very cute though, especially when we're on the way to his crib for a nap. He also pokes out his bottom lip and blows upward in an attempt to blow on his own hair. I have found that blowing on their hair will make them laugh when they are upset, so I've done it a few times. I guess he liked it so much he decided to do it himself.

Other than these developments, not much is new. The boys continue to beat me up daily. I think the beatings are unintentional but I'm starting to wonder. Today Liam stepped on my throat while trying to sit on me when I made the mistake of lying down on the playroom floor. Graeme slammed the top of his head under my chin causing me to bite my tongue. They both hit me in the face with board books also, with one strike hitting just below my cheekbone and the other landing close to my eye. When they drop their cups during meals, they somehow manage to hit the top of my foot in such a way that I limp for a few minutes. I think they've secretly had a little training over here in their spare time. I'm starting to sleep with one eye open.

August Shenanigans

2007-08-30T20:08:00.000+08:00

It's been a long time since my last post (sorry), and August has flown by. We took a trip to Bintan, Indonesia which involved an hour-long ferry trip from S'pore to Indonesia. I thought the ferry would be like the ones you see in the movies around New York, but I was wrong. These looked like yachts with a bunch of seats and crappy carpet instead of a bunch of bling. The ride over to Bintan started right after a storm, so there were a lot of people breathing into their sick bags. Luckily no one got sick, though the boys didn't like sleeping in our arms.

Sean got to play golf on a course designed by Greg Norman which included a few holes along the South China Sea. I rode along since I haven't played in over two years and certainly need lessons. The scenery was beautiful. The resort has a great pool with frog fountains which the boys loved. There's also a beach, and Liam enjoyed playing in the sand, but Graeme wasn't so sure. He had a hard time walking in the sand, so he would stand there frozen with his legs shaking and his arms out with jazz hands. He was alright once he sat down and played, but he still didn't throw the sand around with glee like Liam did. One of the funniest moments was when Liam quickly crawled from our play spot on the beach to the edge of the water where Sean was standing. He left a track from his belly in the sand, which looked like a giant slug had visited the beach.

Back home, the boys have been progressing rapidly. Both are pointing to things they want and saying "na" or "ma", which appears to mean "I want that thing right there, now!". Graeme has repeated a few things I've said, with cheese being his funniest word because he says it correctly in this happy tiny voice. Liam is talking plenty, but not in English. I think he's concentrating on walking now, which he just started a couple of days ago. He still prefers to crawl but is now standing up and walking about 10 steps regularly.

One hilarious thing Liam has started doing is telling Graeme off. In the past, Graeme would take whatever Liam had and Liam would cry. Starting in Bintan, Graeme took Liam's toy, and Liam took it back, then stuck out his arm in a "talk to the hand" position and just read him the riot act in twinspeak. When I thought he was done, he stuck that arm out again and did it for longer. Graeme looked kind of dumbfounded and then played with something else. Liam has done this a few times since, and has now started stealing Graeme's toys. Ah, the fighting begins! But just when I think they're not getting along, they'll put their heads together and rub noggins lovingly.

They've started climbing onto my lap with certain books as a request for a mommy reading session, and will sit for the entire book more and more often. They will also pick a book off the bookshelf and quietly sit alone and "read". Favorites include Sometimes I Like to Curl into a Ball, Brown Bear..., Very Hungry Caterpillar, Pat the Bunny, and Goodnight Moon. Their favorite picture book is My Big Truck Book, and they really fight over that one. Gotta look at the fire truck and excavator now!

The boys' current favorite activities besides reading include playing peek-a-boo with any type of cloth or their hands, rolling around on blankets, kissing mommy (wet from Liam, mostly nose from Graeme), "feeding" the baby doll, pointing and talking to dogs during our walks, swimming, playing with stacking barrels and blocks, singing and dancing at Kindermusik, making strange noises with their lips, and fighting over the slide.

We'll end for now with one of the funniest things I've ever seen in person. As Liam is starting to walk, he gets into the gorilla position more often as Graeme did when he was beginning to walk. Yesterday Liam got into the gorilla in the bathtub but kept his head up, and started splashing water backward between his legs toward Graeme while giggling. Graeme was sitting about 4 inches from Liam's butt, and he would "receive" the splashes and splash them toward himself. It looked like some bizarre form of wet toddler football hiking without the football. Complete hilarity. Too bad Daddy had the camera in Cambodia.

Jazz hands & the flying monkey

2007-07-31T20:41:00.000+08:00

Graeme has started walking, though not exclusively yet. He does the standard toddler beginner-walk, with turned-out duck feet for balance and arms out. Sometimes his arms are out in front like Frankenstein (says Sean), and at other times his arms are bent at the elbow but out to his sides, with his fingers splayed. Those of you who have had dance lessons in the past will recognize this hand position as jazz hands. Hopefully this will not last too long, or he may end up in a musical touring company - not that there is anything wrong with that.

Liam is observing Graeme, and getting more interested in walking daily. He stands up, takes a step or two, then crashes. Once Graeme stops crawling and only walks, I think that Liam will follow. He is devoting a lot of his time to experimenting with the castle slide. He likes to climb up the slide and slide back down on his belly, but his current favorite slide activity shows some daring on his part. While I am waiting at the bottom of the slide, he will climb to the top, sit down, and jump into my arms instead of sliding down. I think he does this because he will not lift his feet off the slide, so they stick to it when he propels himself forward. No matter, I'll catch the flying monkey. His brother is now doing this too, of course.

No new words because they are concentrating on walking and flying. They are pointing at things now, especially the caterpillar from The Very Hungry Caterpillar, and any dogs they see on our walks. We saw a dog the other day that could be our former pet dog Zoe's brother, and the boys went nuts. Zoe was/is still probably crazy, but the boys always loved her as soon as they were aware of her. We'll be getting a dog when we return to the U.S.

Random cool thing in Singapore: assigned seating at the movies. Whether you buy your tickets online or at the box office, you can choose your seat as long as it's still available. They open the theater for seating only 10 minutes before the show, you sit in your assigned seat, and the movie starts on time. Well, it's really the previews and commercials that start on time. We saw a hilarious commercial for an herbal drink at the movies in which Godzilla stops terrorizing the city and cries when he sees a cute kitten after tasting the drink.

Coolness aside, we are going through culture shock now, at about the typical time of three months in. Please enjoy using the drive-thru ATM, drive-thru dry cleaners, drive-thru fast food, drive-thru anything! Land is obviously scarce on this small island, so of course there are no drive-thrus. We have to park and walk in everywhere. Enjoy fast service, too. People over here take their own sweet time as we Southerners say, whether it's the check-out clerks, waiters, or just someone walking in front of you. I don't mean a slightly slower than normal pace, I mean sloooowww. I'm not even from New York, where people want things done yesterday - the Singaporean pace would be like time has stopped to someone from there. Ah yes, a visit in December to the U.S. with its mostly efficient service industries will be just what I need. Other culture shock moments will have to be discussed elsewhere as they are not remotely politically correct. Email us if you want to know.

And the word for today is...

2007-07-18T20:21:00.000+08:00

The boys are fascinated by lights. There are two sconces on the wall leading upstairs to their bedroom, and when we get to the top of the stairs, we let one child turn on the lights, and the other turn off the lights. Since we are trying to help the kids start speaking actual words, we repeat "light" when we pause to look at the lights and when we let them turn the lights on and off. They love flipping the light switches, so much so that I have to move Graeme's crib away from the wall at night because he kept turning on the light a wee bit too early for Liam's taste. Of course, Graeme's first word is "ight" or "igh", which sounds like the urban slang word for all right.

Liam says it too sometimes, but his first word inspiration came in the bathtub. We have a collection of different colored rubber ducks, given to the boys by Sean's Uncle Skinny and Aunt Jane. The kids love these ducks, and I repeat "duck" whenever they are holding one or two. Liam now says "duh" (thankfully without the teenage attitude) most of the time when I ask him what he's holding. So there you go, "ight" and "duh". I'm so proud.

I think their next word may be belly. Graeme has started lifting my shirt and looking at my belly when I'm sitting near him. Somehow my twinskin has not blinded him yet. Anyway, he looks at my belly, then will pull up his shirt to look at his. Liam will then pull up his own shirt and look at his belly if he's sitting nearby. If I'm changing one, the other sometimes comes over and touches the exposed belly and bellybutton. Graeme's also touching my ears and trying to touch Liam's eyes. I guess the My First Body book with pictures of babies' body parts is influencing them.

I finally bought a tiny cleaning set. I found a Mr. Clean set, so it's blue and yellow as opposed to the lavender and pink sets that dominate the shelves. One will hold the mop, the other the broom, and they will clean the floor sitting on their little butts. Pretty funny. Sean swears when they do this that they're not his kids.

On another note, some Singaporeans are fond of those little signs for the rear window of your car, like the "Baby on Board" ones that were so popular in the U.S. years ago. Here they usually say "Baby in Vehicle" or "Kids in Car" or something boring, but we saw two quite funny ones last weekend. The first was in the American Club parking lot, and it said "Cheeky Monkey" with a picture of a cartoon monkey's head with big cheeks. I almost left a note with my number because the sign would be so perfect for Liam. Maybe I'll see it again and do so.

The second sign thankfully does not pertain to us, but viewing it did cause loud laughter, so I thought I'd mention it with a brief explanation. The trunk of a car is called the boot here, another British term. The sign said "Ex-husband in Boot". You gotta love it, unless you're an ex-husband with no sense of humor.

As promised, Sean will blog soon about his Singapore experiences in taxis, indoor plumbing, and some other fun topics.

To all the other Harry Potter geeks: We will try hard not to call you at 7:01 PM Eastern standard time on July 20th and start reading the final book to you. It is released over here on 7/21 at 7:01 AM, and we're 12 hours ahead of you guys. Happy reading this weekend!

Control

2007-07-02T19:59:00.002+08:00

They say S'pore has two seasons: outdoors and indoors. Singapore is close to the equator and is tropical, so it's quite hot and humid most of the time. In many buildings, the air conditioning (or air-con) is set at a temperature so low that you need at least a long sleeve shirt or light sweater to be comfortable inside. There is central air in large buildings, but most apartments and homes have an air-con unit in each room except for bathrooms and storage areas. The units in our home are high up on the wall and have remote controls.

The boys' playroom is about 400 sq. ft., and the air-con unit doesn't cool the entire room always. We bought a 4 ft. tall cylindrical oscillating fan which sits in the corner opposite the unit, so together they get the job done. The fan has its own remote too. When we enter the playroom, we turn on the air-con and fan, and turn them off when we leave. Graeme is clearly becoming more observant lately, because a few days ago after I turned on the air-con and fan, he crawled over to the toy organizer, grabbed the toy Elmo remote control, pointed it toward the fan, and pressed a button. He then pointed it toward the air-con unit and pressed a button. He has since done this every time we go into the playroom. I told Sean we have to be careful with our actions as well as our words in front of the boys from now on. The age of mimicry has begun.

Liam couldn't care less about pointing the remote toward objects. He's obsessed with trying to get on the couch and large chair in the playroom. He will stand in front of the couch and stick his leg on top of the cushion, like some tiny ballet dancer warming up. He then whines once he realizes that he's too short to hoist himself up. Those are the times when being cute and unintentionally funny saves him, and I'll help him up. Once atop the couch, he rolls around and looks over the edge and acts like he's somewhere special.

Both boys are standing better than ever and close to walking. For the past month they would crawl, then straighten their legs like they were doing the downward facing dog yoga pose. Then they would look between their legs and laugh, as if to say, "Look at my hiney!", or continue crawling with straightened legs so they looked like gorillas. Now Liam will stand up from the gorilla, slowly lifting one arm at a time straight out to his sides. Then he'll raise his torso, try not to fall over, and fall over anyway after a few seconds. If I'm close by, he'll lean toward me, falling into my arms. Graeme stands up from the gorilla or from his knees and is slightly steadier than Liam. Today Graeme even took two steps after standing, but I'm not calling it walking yet. It's more stumbling than walking at this point, but it's a start.

Soapbox #1 (Sorry Grandparents)

2007-06-25T19:54:00.002+08:00

As many of you know, I am a pharmacist. I may not be practicing right now, but the health care professional will always be here. I have noticed that most Singaporeans are smaller than Americans in terms of weight. Yes, there are overweight people here, but they seem to be a small minority. We all hear about the obesity epidemic in the U.S., which is real. No epidemic over here. Why? Part of the answer is a diet low in red meat, fatty cheese, junk food, etc., and high in fish and veggies. The other important part (besides genetics) is exercise. In just a few short weeks here, I have seen more middle-aged and elderly people exercising than in my entire life in America. I know that some Americans in this age group exercise, I just haven't seen very many of them.

What I have seen here are large groups of people age 40+ performing calisthenics and tai chi outside in classes led by gray-haired men. I have also seen many pairs of older people walking through the S'pore Botanic Gardens in 90 degree weather. It just seems like a way of life over here, and that's a good thing, not only for physical well-being, but also for mental health.

I am inspired by these exercisers, and hope you will be too, if you don't already exercise. I am walking for fitness now after almost 2 years of no formal exercise. Though I'm tired because I still haven't caught up on all the lost sleep of pregnancy and parenthood, I have forced myself to walk most mornings with the boys in their jogging stroller before it gets too hot. I'm finally starting to firm up a little, but the difference in my mental well-being is what I've noticed more. I am sleeping better, and I actually feel as though I have some energy now. I will soon start karate workouts again. I have missed the dojo, and now I am ready to resume training.

I know, I know, it's easy for me to say and do because I'm not working. If you don't already, just try to make some time to do some form of low impact exercise three or more times per week. Check with your MD first, especially if you have any physical issues and/or have not exercised in a long time. Take it easy in the beginning. You will ache the first few weeks, perhaps, but you will get to a point soon when you feel good instead of exhausted and sore. Just do something!

Exercise benefits young toddlers too. After swimming, Graeme and Liam sleep better and take longer naps. They are fascinated with climbing the stairs too, so I encourage this activity as much as possible. I'm not sure how much physical benefit they get from dancing to music, but it certainly is good for my mental health to watch them bouncing when they hear a tune they like.

Enough already with the advice. I promise to keep it light next time. Maybe Sean will contribute some humorous S'pore and Hong Kong anecdotes - he's got a few to share already.

Wow, Yow, Ow

2007-06-19T20:13:00.000+08:00

Graeme and Liam aren't really talking yet, at least with words that can be understood by us. They are doing plenty of talking in their own language, to each other, to objects, to me. Graeme does have a word he sometimes uses correctly - wow, followed by several rhyming made-up words. Yow is his favorite. He will point with his thumb out, forming an L, and say, wow, yow, wow, yow. I think he may be calling me a loser, but I hope not.

One would think ow would be the favorite word lately. You see, the boys are dental prodigies. They can't just cut one tooth at a time. Liam has 3 molars coming in, and Graeme has 2 molars and 2 incisors coming in. There's lots of drool around here, and they want to chew on everything, especially their baby Crocs, Little People figures, and the foam alphabet playmat which they could probably chew through if I let them. Somehow there has been only one biting incident since my vampires post.

There are a few items to add to the list of joyful things for the boys. The most important one is hiding. They love to hide behind the curtains and the Lazy Boy in their room. They will play peek-a-boo with each other and the curtain, cackling maniacally. Today Liam actually tried to fall asleep behind the recliner. Guess he didn't want anyone watching.

Graeme also has started cleaning and is teaching his brother. They will open the closet door, get several washcloths off the shelf, and rub them on the floor like they are dusting. They will also "dust" their little table in the playroom. When we visited another set of twins recently, Graeme took their play mop and sat on the floor "mopping" for at least 15 minutes. I'm going to buy them their own cleaning play set, though I have noticed the only ones at Toys R Us here are in the girls section and are pink with lavender accents. In this culture of female household help for most of the middle and upper classes, my guess is that there are a lot of men here who have no idea how to clean, nor do they intend to find out. Well, if they change their minds, they can come visit us. I just stole a play ironing board that someone on our street left out for garbage pickup. The boys can teach ironing lessons once they can stand up for longer than 6 seconds.

Graemileptics

2007-06-11T20:28:00.000+08:00

When Graeme is excited, he gets on his knees, flaps his arms, bounces up and down, and makes hilarious noises of joy with a wide-open mouth. We have deemed this activity Graemileptics, after a children's song which mentions catileptics, a cat's seizure-like shaking occurring when a nearby tone-deaf lady sings. Liam is also expressive and likes to bounce, just not quite to the degree that Graeme does. Also, Lizures just sounds terrible. I thought I'd share some of the things which are currently making the boys quite happy:

1. Jumping in their cribs - the baby equivalent of jumping on the bed, with help from the side rail. Shouts of glee always ensue while jumping. This is especially true when I hold one of them and jump on the mini trampoline.

2. Splashing water with their hands and/or feet. They love making a complete mess with water in the bath, smacking the surface quickly or throwing their washcloths out of the tub. If there is a small bit of water on the floor, they will also rapidly bend and straighten their legs in it while yelling something happily in baby-speak. Their first swimming lesson this past Saturday was lots of fun, with only one whiny moment from Liam. The lovely British instructor was surprised at how well they took to the water. We were not surprised at all.

3. Climbing on the slide Grandma Arlene bought for their 1st birthday. Of course, this can lead to fights when they both want to stand on the top part, but overall, the slide is a winner. Both boys like to go down head first, with assistance of course.

4. Climbing anything, in Liam's case. He will crawl into my lap, fake as though he wants a hug, then use my leg to climb higher and try to get up onto something. If a box is on the floor, Liam is on top of it in seconds. He is the Monkey after all.

5. "Throwing" balls. Liam is actually getting some aim, but the ball still goes behind him half the time. Graeme is more into rolling, but will throw also.

6. Anything electronic, particularly the cords attached to these devices. I'll finally lose those last 15 pounds by chasing these two away from outlets and cords. They have a some kind of radar for this stuff.

7. Music. Depending on the song, Liam will dance (bounce slightly) while seated or standing supported. Graeme will bounce too, but usually must be encouraged. They are most likely the only people in the world who enjoy my singing, too.

8. Bean bags. Climbing, landing from a parent throw, or being spun around the tile floor on the bean bag is a pleasure for both boys.

9. Story time, which requires two books so they can each hold one and "read" along with me, usually sideways or upside down.

10. Destroying anything just built by me, such as Lego men or towers of blocks.

11. Eating. If I let them, I think they would eat their food like Ralphie's piggy little brother in The Christmas Story.

11. Mommy or Daddy coming into the room. Their little faces light up, and our hearts grow from two sizes too small to quite large.

I hope this list reminds everyone to find joy in the little things of life. I think I'll go jump on my bed for a bit.

They called me Fanny

2007-06-05T21:34:00.000+08:00

When I was a baby, my parents called me Froggy or Tiffany Toadfrog in reference to the way I slept with my legs curled up and butt in the air (a sleep position which appears to be passed along to my little ones). My brother called me Gubbit, after trying to say ribbit when talking about me. Later, I was called Fanny in junior high, then Kermit because I supposedly looked like the Green One when I smiled. Guess the frog thing came full circle.

Sean was Booger as a baby, Sean Bean as a kid (way before the actor was well-known), Ponix later on, and E. Brown in college, after children's book character Encyclopedia Brown. No explanation needed for that one if you know Sean.

I have many nicknames for Graeme and Liam. Liam is Li Li, an endearment I have promised myself and my husband that I will stop using after his 2nd birthday, mostly because it sounds like a panda on loan to a U.S. zoo, and partly because it is pretty babyish. He was E.T. because of his round head and tiny neck when he was younger, but things are evening out now. The latest is Monkey because he loves to climb on everything, including me. He also looked like a mutant chimp when he was born due to copious amounts of dark hair on his head and complete baldness everywhere else. Sometimes I call him Singapore Liam, number one super-baby, sung to the tune of the Hong Kong Fooey song. Graeme is G-man, Gramalama, Grammykins, and Gray-may, which is how some computers pronounce his name. I also call him Orangutan from his jealousy-fueled recent climbing bouts and, of course, the orange-red hair.

Even Singapore has several nicknames. It's the Lion City, or the Fine City, after all the fines which may be imposed if you spit in public, litter, jaywalk, etc. The best nickname is S'pore, which warms the heart of this microbiology major. Even the local paper uses that one.

Vampires & the Left Side

2007-06-03T21:24:00.000+08:00

We have finally moved to the house we'll be living in here. It then took a week to get the Internet hooked up, then another week to set up the wireless properly. Sean and I are on the couch with our laptops tonight, reflecting on the terrible habit the boys have started. Graeme has bitten Liam three times this past week (drawing blood once on Liam's apple-like cheeks), and Liam has bitten me twice. Sean better watch out - no telling who will bite him. Seems like Sean has passed on this lovely behavior. He was a biter until his Uncle Bill bit him back when Sean was three.

Our amah (housekeeper) started this week. Her name is Dasem, she's from Indonesia, and she has experience with twins. We'll talk more about her later. Now I can finally get a little rest and organise* the house. Driving has been an experience too. It's British, with the steering wheel on the right, and driving on the left. The parking garages, called carparks here, have tiny spaces to fit in as many cars as possible. Everyone folds their side mirrors in after parking. I've gotten used to driving on the left side, though I must admit that the second time a drove (and first time alone), I got in the front left side and sat for a few seconds before finally realizing that it helps to have a steering wheel and pedals to drive. Evidently this will happen again, since one of my new friends almost got in the wrong side despite living here for two years. I will also have to explain the U.S.-bought road play rug to the boys when they're old enough to notice that it's different from the roads and signs here. "Give way" is my favorite road sign so far. It seems more polite than "yield". "Mind the gap" is the best transportation sign, though. So much better than "watch your step" on the subway.

*English here is British, so we'll have to watch our spelling when we return.

Mama, mama, mama

2007-05-16T20:10:00.000+08:00

A belated happy mother's day to all the moms out there, both working and stay-at-home. I used to be the former, and now I'm the latter since moving over here. Staying home with the kids was my main reason for coming here), and I'm experiencing all the fun, frustration, and exhaustion that goes along with taking care of the wee ones 24-7. They are good babies, but two 13 month-old kids can wear out even the most loving and patient mom, wherever she is. They are worth the work though. They actually have started repeating mama while looking at me, instead of at Baby Tad or their damn beloved Animal Train (alllll aboard!). Here's to the moms, especially Elise, who deserves a medal, and all my moms and grandmoms by birth or marriage. Thanks for understanding my reasons for coming over, mostly my desire to be with the rugrats.

On another note, we sure were spoiled in the suburban US. Hug your dishwashers, deep sinks, and giant hot water heaters. Though there are several American brands of food and sundries here, I miss going to Publix, and yes, Target, in Atlanta. Eat some good Mexican food for me, too, 'cause they don't know what it is here. Old el Paso is as good as it gets, but at least you can make that at home without needing a babysitter. We ate at the "best" Mexican place in the city on our look-see visit in March, and it was much like the Danish idea of Mexican - just wrong. I think they used a lot of teriyaki here, while the Danes used a BBQ-like sauce (at least they did in 1999 when I was there for a few weeks). There is one Taco "Hell" here that I know of, though, so those random cravings for terrible but somehow randomly satisfying fast-food Mexican can be fulfilled.

We found out today that we move Friday from the serviced apartment to our semi-attached house. It's like a nice, three story duplex. Can't wait to get out of this tiny place. Yes, living in the 'burbs in a relatively big house spoiled me in regard to space. Going from a house to a 2 bedroom apartment with two very curious boys has been an adjustment. Spotty internet service, the Couch and the Rug (more on these later), and doing laundry on another floor have pretty much sucked, too.

I'll try not to complain too much considering all the terrible crap going on in the world that really matters. Let's keep our perspective, right? It's just that whining is in the genes, and it has been passed most certainly to Liam, a professional whiner at a little over a year. I'll try to get a pic of his giant bottom lip protruding, but instead I'm sure I'll get one of his two most common picture faces - drunk frat-boy baby or assassin baby. Once I figure out what I'm doing here with pictures, I'll post his all-time best assassin pic yet, taken one week ago. Scary, considering most people here who ask about the twins think Liam is a sweet, lovely girl. "Twins, lah? Boy and girl? Nooo, he looks like girl!" Guess I need to finally get his hair cut again.

Why Twins, Lah?

2007-05-13T15:11:00.000+08:00

The short answer is because it doesn't matter what side of the planet you live on, if you have twins you are a traveling circus to which the rest of the world has free tickets. In the MRT (subway), supermarket, or street, we constantly get the same question from the locals, "Twins, lah?" It's not an unreasonable thing to ask since one of our sons has flaming red hair, blue eyes and fair skin, while the other has dark hair, brown eyes and more olive toned skin. It's a lot better than the question my brother gets about his boy/girl twins in Michigan, "Are they identical?"

Why the "lah?" It's Singlish. That's the Singaporean improvement on the language the Americans stole from the English. Lah is one of those words that doesn't really mean anything, but makes a frequent appearance at the end of sentences. Think "eh" for Canadians, "right" or "umm" for Americans or "like" for teenagers.

We've been here for two weeks today, and the boys have adjusted to eating and sleeping on local time. Mommy and daddy are working long hours at the office or keeping up with two babies in a small apartment. We try to get out as much as meals and naps will allow and our favorite
question so far has become the name of our blog. There's the explanation. Besides most of the other suggestions we received were culturally insensitive or morally objectionable. Pictures will follow. We only have pics of the apartment so far - not any different from any large city. More details and hopefully funny stories to follow.