Winners and Losers

I had the following exchange in email today with another father of a son around the same age as ours who will remain nameless to protect his offspring. I am certain that no matter how gross or bad anyone's story is, someone else has another one to top it.


Him: "Today's lesson: Just because it looks like a raisin doesn't mean it is a raisin. It may, in fact, be a dead fly. To his credit, he had the most horrified look on his face when he realized his mistake. I'm sure this will be repeated several more times before it sinks in. And what do your boys like for snacks?"

Me: "The phrase amateur proctology strikes more fear into me now than it ever did in college."

To be fair this is not an eating thing, it's a touching of his butt during diaper change and then reaching for his mouth as his mother or I dive to stop him. Then he says "Gross!" or "Yucky!" with a triumphant smile on his face, since that's what mommy says when he does this. Rinse and repeat.

Him: "Oh god. You win." Pause a few minutes before the next message.

Him: "Or lose, as the case may be."

Me: "At least it's self investigation and not brotherly service."


Always looking on the bright side. As I've said before, they're allowed to be gay, just not with each other.