So Many Traffic Signs, So Little Time

This is a quick post to explain why there are no pictures on the blog yet. Sean and I are taking the test for our Singapore driver's licenses on Thursday afternoon. It's a computerized test which actually requires studying, something I need to resume in a few minutes.

We've been to three Halloween parties in four days, the last of which I hosted this morning for the AWA playgroup. I'll be posting pictures hopefully this weekend or the beginning of next week. We'll be trick-or-treating on Friday near Singapore American School where many Americans live - they actually start around 4:30 or so, unlike the rest of Singapore which waits until it gets dark at 7:30. Since the boys are usually in bed by then, we'll be heading up north to nab some candy while it's still daylight, then turn the lights off here when we get home. On Saturday we're attending a rocket-themed birthday party for our three-year-old twin Aussie friends. If the boys don't expire from pleasure, I'll have some pics of that party too.

Three quick moments of random craziness:

Sean belched at the table a couple of days ago and promptly said "Excuse me" before he could get the evil eye I inherited from my Nana. Liam then pretended to belch and excused himself repeatedly for a minute or two. Weird, but polite.

I've been trying to teach the boys to sneeze into their bent elbows instead of all over the place or into their hands. So far they've manage to sneeze on their inner wrists, like they're smelling perfume they've just applied. They then say, "I sneezed on my elbow!". Looks like we've got to review a few body parts.

Finally, a few minutes ago, Liam fell asleep for his nap before Graeme. I thought Graeme was asleep, but when I looked in on them, Graeme was sitting in Liam's bed, kissing the bottom of Liam's foot. You read that correctly. Liam was facedown with one knee bent and his foot up in the air in Graeme's hands, and Graeme was kissing Liam's foot! Sorry, I just don't know if I believe it either, and I actually saw it. My children are bizarre.

Same Old Song and Dance

Good news: Both Liam and Graeme have been accident-free for several days, excluding night-time issues. Hopefully I haven't jinxed myself by putting that in writing.

Bad news: Night-time issues. For the past three nights, Liam has peed while sleeping and hasn't woken up. He wakes up in the morning reeking of urine, so I've had to shower him off before breakfast. I think he's sleeping so soundly because he's catching up on his lost sleep from the previous three weeks.

Graeme got up two nights in a row to pee (waking me up first) , and woke up the following mornings with a dry bed - yay! Unfortunately he peed in his bed last night, then rubbed his urine-soaked pajama top on my sheets when he woke me to tell me about it. There's been a lot of extra laundry lately, and I still haven't slept through the night (over a month now). Sean is getting to sleep through the night this week only because he's in Shanghai. Also, Graeme is stuck on waking up between 5:30 and 6:00 am now. This too shall pass, I tell myself, as I struggle to stay awake each afternoon around 3 pm when the exhaustion hits. Coke Light (Diet Coke to Americans) has again become my friend.

Random stuff:

Sean opened a book on rockets and spaceships the other night at bedtime, preparing to read, but waiting for Liam to finish in the bathroom. Graeme, with the impatience of a toddler, pointed to the words on the page and said, "Talk about that, Daddy!" in his best Micro voice. He obviously wasn't content just looking at the pictures for a couple of minutes.

Liam now makes anything into a rocket which he will then fly around the house making a rocket/blast-off noise. Examples include forks or spoons during lunch or dinner, the drain plug to the bathtub, the wooden stick used to play his frog instrument, his fiddlesticks during Kindermusik class, and his Lego Duplo rockets that he builds himself. Future astronaut? Maybe, if he turns into a math and science geek like his mom was in school.

Both Liam and Graeme now see imaginary animals. Liam started this a few weeks ago when he first talked about a peacock being in his room. This past weekend, the boys were talking to a peacock apparently hiding behind Sean's nightstand. There's a peacock in their Elmo video on wild animals, and a peacock in the Tails book. I guess that's where Liam got the idea, which he has shared with Graeme. Liam has also had an imaginary dog sitting next to his chair while he ate. Whatever works, I say.

A little girl fell down and bit her lip at playgroup on Tuesday, and her mom took her into the bathroom to wipe off the small drop of blood. Graeme was very concerned about her, and he asked me, "Is she okay?" several times. It's good to know that he's empathetic to others besides Liam and me. Liam, who is usually concerned about this type of thing, was instead focused on a kid-sized pretend electric guitar. He put the strap around his body and said, "I have a guitar!" about twenty times. Rock star or astronaut? Here's hoping for the latter.

The boys turned 2 and 1/2 on the 17th. It's hard to believe that these funny little people were my tiny babies not so long ago. I can't wait to see and hear what's next with them. Now, if they would just sleep...

Feels Like the First Time

The first time we were sleep-deprived by our children, that is. We've been woken up in the middle of the night by one or both boys for three long weeks now. They usually don't cry - they just appear standing next to the bed quietly or with a whine of "hug, hug". Graeme will go back to sleep almost immediately, but Liam needs to be held for a few minutes or wants one of us to sit next to his bed.

I think it's a combination of their second molars coming in and the normally desired effects of potty training, meaning perhaps they are becoming sensitive to the need to pee even in their sleep, so they're waking up. It's hard to determine what is causing the boys to wake up without them telling us anything. We've asked if they are hurting, but get a negative response. Sean and I have decided to ask whoever wakes up tonight if he wants medicine (maybe he'll respond if it's worded this way) or if he wants to pee (bladder sensitivity). We'll see what happens. At this rate, I may be removing the night diapers sooner than I planned and teaching them to go to the bathroom and then back to bed. Wish me luck on that one!

On the potty training front, Graeme is pretty much completely trained. Liam has resisted pooping in the toilet lately, though he did it early on during the first few days of training. He finally pooped in the big toilet yesterday, but then pooped on the floor an hour later while clearly having some GI issues. It was not pretty. Liam sometimes still has pee accidents too, but I think it may be due to tiredness. However, both boys have remained accident-free while in public, though, for which I am grateful. I'm pleased with their progress. Now if they'll just sleep....

Random cute or funny things from the past week:

When Graeme was putting on new pajamas with fitted cuffs on the ankles, his feet got stuck inside the ribbing. He asked very seriously, "Where are my feet?", as though they disappeared for good.

On our way out of the neighborhood to go to My Gym yesterday, three domestic helpers were walking veeerrrry slowly across the neighborhood entrance way. Usually when I see people taking their sweet time (yes, I'm southern), I will mutter something under my breath like, "Does anyone over here know what hustle means?". However, I said nothing this time. Instead, without any prompting from me, Liam said, "Hey ladies, watch out!".

When we got to My Gym, Graeme ran excitedly through the hallways to get to the gym. Once at the door, I opened it, and he yelled, "I'm here, I'm here!" while running toward the warm-up circle. Everyone looked up and laughed. Throughout the class he loudly volunteered for every demonstration. Now that the boys will be 2 & 1/2 in two weeks, they'll be moving up to the 2 & 1/2 to 3 & 1/2 group. I'm sure they will hold their own with the older kids, between Graeme's confidence and Liam's physical skills.

Wednesday was a holiday here, so Sean was home and we were all worn out and grumpy from the long night before. We decided to go to the Air Force Museum in the afternoon to get out of the house, but when we got there it was closed, of course, because it was a holiday - it's hard to think sometimes when you're exhausted. Since we had promised the boys that they would see planes, we headed to the airport. We viewed a plane pulling away from its gate, rode the monorail train between two of the terminals, played in a children's play area, stood transfixed in front of a small fountain with jumping water, and then went to McDonald's for dinner because the good child-friendly restaurants are past security. The boys got their first Happy Meals, which have changed in some ways (you can choose apple slices on the side), and not in others (the toy was a Millennium Falcon or Obi-Wan's Jedi Starfighter). I think those were the toys back in the early 80s when I was a kid. During the meal, Sean looked at Graeme, who was eating his cheeseburger, and made a remark about how he was just feeding the boys baby food with a spoon, and now they're eating burgers with two hands like little adults. Time, it goes so fast when you're having fun...

Tonight at dinner, Sean asked Graeme a question, and in answer, Graeme said "Thewheelsonthebusgoroundandroundallthroughthetown" very quickly with a straight face. Sean and I laughed for a solid minute.

And finally, Sean was putting the boys to bed tonight, and Liam didn't want to stay in his bed. Sean laid down beside Liam to block him from getting out, and Liam immediately said, "Get out of my bed NOW", in his sweet little voice but with a commanding tone.

Ah yes, those are my boys! They wear me out, but they're worth it.

I Say Poop

Dinner conversation Monday night:

L: I say pee pee and poo poo.

G: I say poo poo and pee pee.

L: I say salad.

G: I say salad dressing.

L: I say cup.

G: I say bowl.

L: I say spoon.

G: I say fork.

L: I say light.

G: I say lightbulb.

L: I say pickle (there were no pickles in sight)

G: I say pee pee and poo poo.

Well, at least the conversation came full circle. There has been a lot of potty talk since starting PT, and last night I finally figured out where the "I say" part was coming from. The boys were in bed not going to sleep, and they started the "I say pee pee" conversation again. We have an Elmo video about potty training, which they watched several times in the days before going straight-to-underwear. One of the segments features children talking about which words they use to describe bodily functions. My personal favorite was "I call it dookie!".

While I'm on the subject, the boys have been waking up dry from their naps most of the time. However, Liam was particularly tired on Sunday after a morning visit to the zoo. He fell asleep in the car on the way home, and I decided that I'd rather chance him peeing during his nap than wake him up before the nap and ask him to go. He does not wake up pretty when he's tired, so straight to bed he went. Almost two hours later, he stumbled into my room, and the front of his hair was wet. Upon inspection of his head and his bed, I determined that he peed twice and moved his head into one of the pee puddles during his nap. Now that is heavy sleeping!

Why Yes, I Do Frequently Burst Out in Song

So I've joined Facebook. A person new to Singapore invited me to join, and I ended up finding half of my high school class on there, as well as many of my friends in Atlanta and Singapore. It's been fun catching up with everyone, though it reminds me that I am now twice the age I was when I graduated from high school. Anyway, there are groups that you can join which will be shown on your profile to give friends an idea of your interests. I've joined high school, college, and pharmacy school alumni groups, plus a few random "just for fun" groups, one of which is the title of this post.

I joined this group because I do like to sing (though not well at all), and I do enjoy musicals, but mostly I joined in honor of Graeme and Liam. Graeme is singing more than his ABCs now. He started entertaining us with hilarious renditions of "Happy Birthday" sung into anything remotely resembling a microphone. Liam soon joined him, and now they both sing while in funny little stances like tiny Elvis's, wearing T-shirts and Elmo/Nemo/Cars/Thomas underwear instead of sparkly jumpsuits. Grandma Arlene and Grandpa Denny were lucky enough to witness a short demonstration while webcamming a couple of weeks ago. Graeme has added "Wheels On the Bus" and "Where is Thumbkin?" to his repertoire just in the past couple of days. And, yes, he just sings whenever he feels the need.

While I'm on the subject, Liam has a developed a reaction to the rest of the family's singing. Whenever Graeme, Sean, or I sing, Liam adopts the talk-to-the-hand pose and whines, "Noooooooo" as though his ears are bleeding. We're not great singers, but I didn't think we were that bad. He doesn't do this when his Kindermusik teacher sings, so maybe we are terrible instead of just mediocre.

The boys' language development continues to amaze us. Before Grandma Ar and Aunt Mar's late July/August visit, the kids would speak in several short sentences. After the visit, their sentences and words were more complex. Liam now says things like, "I want to go downstairs and play with my digger in the playroom".

This past week, the boys began narrating on a regular basis while playing, and their play has become more imaginative. They talk about going places a lot, particularly by plane, boat, and cable car. Evidently our cable car ride to Sentosa Island made an impression. And, unfortunately for our discipline approach, the boys have declared the Group W bench an airplane, which they fly in every day. The laundry basket is a boat, and a small ride-on car is the cable car. They go shopping for food often, and they have afternoon tea with their new dinosaurs. The boys also pretend to spray us with water like firefighters. And, of course, they play with their airplanes, rocket, and Tonka trucks every day. We're doing lots of reading of the Mouse Cookie anthology too, with "If You Give a Pig a Pancake" their current favorite of the series.

As for the terrible twos phase, Liam's the whiner and Graeme is tantrum/angry boy. Overall, they're good kids, but today I had to give Graeme a you-better-shape-up-or-I'm-taking- you-out-of-this-room speech at Kindermusik, and later Liam whined and needed a "hug, hug, hug" for 30 minutes after he woke up from his nap. Graeme's reaction lately when he doesn't get his way: scream or get extremely frustrated in one way or another. Liam's reaction: whine and act put-upon. Alas, I am subjected to both common annoying toddler habits, though it could certainly be worse in terms of frequency.

That said, there are so many sweet, hilarious moments with the boys that all the annoying stuff is (mostly) forgotten. When he wasn't showing his rear in Kindermusik today, Graeme was telling the teacher what to do in a helpful way and putting away the instruments. After the teacher announced quiet time, Graeme repeated "quiet time" loudly and told her to turn off the lights. Later this afternoon, Liam cuddled on the couch with a baby doll after pretending to feed her a bottle. He then collected a few plastic dinosaurs and managed to hug them and the doll at the same time. I'll write in my next post about the crazy dinner conversation tonight.

And finally, a potty training update: We've managed to go to My Gym last Thursday, the zoo yesterday, a picnic at the Botanic Gardens yesterday, and Kindermusik today without accidents. Today was completely accident-free for both boys, and they both pooped in the "big potty" as they call it - the regular toilet with a plastic seat insert so they don't fall in. Yay! They're growing up.

It Has Begun

What is "it" you may ask? Why, potty training of course. I kind-of started last week with a few scheduled potty times and a switch to pull-ups, but the whole thing was a waste of time. Once the boys realized that they could pee in the pull-ups and not feel much different, they just peed whenever. Plus they couldn't manage pulling them down and up easily. I resigned myself to going straight-to-underwear this week after we got past a few events that we needed to attend with the boys. The carpet people came to pick up my carpets for annual cleaning on Monday, so those are out of the way. We have nothing planned from yesterday afternoon until the Saturday morning swim lesson, so we've got some time to start working on it.

Yesterday after morning playgroup and lunch, I let them pick out underwear for their nap. They made it through the nap dry but peed soon after waking up, which caused them (especially Liam) to be upset. I made the mistake of leaving the potties in the bathroom, and I think they were "out of sight, out of mind", even though I reminded the boys where the potties were. There were several accidents yesterday, including two which required the sofa upholstery cleaner. Yay!

Last night I re-read the potty training Q & A entries from John Rosemond's website and realized that I should keep the potties in the boys' sight for the first few days so they are easy to access. This morning Liam said, "I'm not gonna pee pee on the floor" after I took off his night diaper, and then he promptly peed in his potty. Then the rest of the morning Liam said, "I need to pee pee" before he went by himself. Graeme said the same but sometimes spotted his underwear while he said it, and then he went to the potty. He peed on the floor once this morning 5 minutes after peeing a little in the potty and saying he was finished.

They both peed (and Liam pooped) in their potties before their nap, but woke up UGLY after peeing during the nap. After I got them cleaned up and settled down, they peed in their clean underwear soon thereafter. The rest of the afternoon went okay, with both of them requesting to pee during dinner. Graeme hasn't pooped in the potty yet, so hopefully that won't be an issue for him. I imagine that there's nothing quite like a constipated toddler. Fun! We'll see how it goes tomorrow.

They'll wear night diapers until they're day trained, and of course they have to wear the swim diapers for swimming lessons. It's underwear-only for all other times though. Messy, but supposedly more effective time-wise than pull-ups. It appears that we'll be having ups and downs for a few days before they get the hang of it.


Besides clapping wildly and yelling "I PEE PEED IN THE POTTY!", there are some funny and/or bizarre things that they boys have said and done lately, and I thought I'd share a few:

1) Bargaining for fruit - I'm not sure how this came about, but one night while the boys were in bed not sleeping, I hear, "One apple". Then, "No, one PINEapple." Followed by, "Two strawberries". "No, one strawberry". "No, two bananas". And so on, for a couple of minutes. They have debated fruit on several occasions since then. Maybe they got the idea from the fruit all over their Elmo and Zoe cups, which I've caught Liam studying during mealtimes instead of drinking his milk.

2) Graeme is sitting next to me while I'm on the laptop, and he sneezes all over the screen. He immediately says, "I excuse me'd on the 'puter!". At least he knows what to say when he sneezes.

3) Micro is running off at the mouth during Sean's morning routine, and I asked him if he could say, "No comment". He immediately repeats, "No comment, mommy". If only he would take that advice.

4) We have a small, maybe 2-inch long gecko in our house (probably one of many) which sometimes runs across the wall but mostly hides during the day. A week ago the gecko showed himself while Liam was walking down the stairs. I was a couple of stairs in front of him, but he still managed to jump onto my leg in fear of the tiny lizard. In an attempt to make the lizard seem cute and lovable, I thought we would give him a name. I listed names typical (Bill) and not typical (Beauregard), but was shot down by both Graeme and Liam. I told them that I would come up with a name they would like. That night, "Jamal" popped into my head, which is more than a little off. The next morning, I said to Liam, "The lizard's name is Jamal", and Liam beamed, "Yes, Jamal!!!". Evidently the kids ARE as weird as I am.

5) The boys are into rockets and space lately, and they wanted to see a picture of a rocket on the computer instead of the same one in their book. I went to the NASA website and found some good pics of Saturn V, plus a space shuttle blastoff. Now whenever they see the laptop, they want to see the rocket, want to see the rocket, want to see the rocket, want to see the rocket, want to see the rocket!!!! So I had sense enough to bookmark the page after being too slow to bring up the pictures after only the second request. Today Graeme requested airplanes also, so I bookmarked the Lockheed Martin photo gallery (Granddaddy Al will be proud!), and he had a good time staring at the airplanes, satellites, and rockets for a solid 10 minutes. Whatever works, I say.

I've already ordered some rocket and airplane books for the boys and have many more books, plus NASA, space, and airplane videos on my wish list for them. If they keep this up, they'll be having a space-themed 3rd birthday party in April 2009 and will be wearing this while riding this. The things they sell these days! I feel old when I look at some of this stuff and think of what was available in the '70s when I was 3. We had to make our space shuttle out of cardboard. Oh wait, there were no shuttles then. Anyway, I'm getting my tired self to bed now before I look at more crap on Amazon.

Future Aviators of America

Liam is currently suffering from Mystery Fever, which is not some rabid desire to read The Hardy Boys, but instead my term for a moderately high fever of unknown origin with no other symptoms. Graeme suffered Mystery Fever for two days last week, then he was fine. Hopefully there won't be a day three for Liam, because he is just tragic when he's feeling really bad. He did have moments yesterday and today when he was feeling okay enough to play and be a subdued version his usual crazy self.

While Liam was reclining on the playroom couch this afternoon, I brought out the trampoline in an effort to tire Graeme before dinner. After watching Graeme jump for a couple of minutes, Liam got up and decided to jump a bit. It was half-hearted compared to his usual jumping, but at least he got up. Maybe there's hope that when he's older he won't be so pitiful when he's sick like some adult males are (I'm looking at you, E. Brown).

Enough sickness; moving on to the fun. On Sunday we went to the Singapore Air Force open house. Being the aircraft lovers that they are, the boys had a great time. Check out this photo of Liam, Graeme, and Sean with two Black Knights, members of S'pore's aerobatics team (Singapore's Thunderbirds):

Lookin' good in our shades

We were able to go inside a C-130. This was especially cool since my dad used to fly them when he was in the Air Force. Yes, I actually exist in this picture, since Sean volunteered to take it:

Hercules!
(Not me - the plane, though Graeme is weighing more these days)

Ready for our first jump

After looking at more planes, helicopters, and weapons, we saw a military version of a front loader, which the boys immediately called a digger. Here's a pic of them "driving" the digger:

Get out of the way down there!

After the digger, Liam and Graeme jumped around in a bouncy thing that was set up for little kids. Nearby, some people were taking a hot air balloon ride, and Liam was particularly fascinated by the balloon and the fire involved. We then rushed to the grandstand to watch the aerial display. We saw F-16s and F-5s take off, fly around, and land; a Chinook helicopter drop a vehicle and some commandos (ok, they used ropes to get down); and Apache helicopters pretend to intercept an unidentified aircraft. Finally, a C-130 landed in the distance, as you can see in the far right of this picture:

One of the few moments Graeme took his eyes off the aircraft

The best part of the aerial display for me and Sean was the music. It seems military personnel all over the world enjoy 80s rock - the soundtrack included several Metallica songs and, of course, The Final Countdown. I guess we were showing our age when we named the band and the year that song was a hit.

Coming soon - the Great Fruit Debate and other strange toddler discussions.

µg

For those of you who aren't science geeks, I'll explain the title in a bit. I thought I'd share a couple of random nicknames we've given Graeme before I recap what's been going on the past few days.

Graematollah - Not sure where this one originated, especially since Graeme is no scholar of Islam.

Graembo - When he's in one of his more destructive moods, this one fits.

G-man - Maybe Graeme is the next Mulder.

G - for texting purposes, when Sean and I are discussing Graeme.

Flashdance - this is a nickname given to both Graeme and Liam. The T-shirts they wear to bed have wide neck openings, so the shirts easily fall off one of their shoulders. Whenever I see this, I picture Jennifer Beals wearing that sweatshirt, while "Maniac" plays in my head.

And finally, µg. This is the symbol for microgram. Sometimes we shorten this to Micro, as in micro-manager. Sean christened Graeme with this moniker when Graeme began telling all of us what to do and how to do it. Little µg has been waking up early again (around 6 or 6:15 - ugh!), and when he does this, we try to keep him relatively quiet (ha!) so his non-morning-person brother can sleep until around 7 am. On these mornings, Micro lives up to this name.

My favorite method of preoccupation is for Micro to go into the bathroom with Sean while he gets ready for work. Micro directs Daddy's morning routine, beginning by insisting that he, µg, flush the toilet after Sean is finished. He watches Sean closely to make sure Daddy brushes his teeth properly. Next he tells Sean to get in the shower, opening and closing the shower door for him. Micro gets a towel from the cabinet and places it just so outside the shower door. During Sean's shower, he messes around with anything he can reach on the countertop. Once he's bored with that, he comes back out into the bedroom to get the stool so he can watch the rest of the routine more closely.

He hands Sean the towel and observes the drying-off process. Sean goes to the sink to begin shaving, and Micro gets up on the stool. He tells Sean to put the razor, aka the "shaver", on the far side of the sink so Micro himself can't grab it. He watches intently while Sean applies shaving cream and starts to shave. Micro always tells Daddy if he misses a spot, of course.

After observing shaving, µg selects a shirt for Sean to wear to work. Sean selects pants, a belt, and socks that match so he won't look like a clown, while prompting Micro to select the same socks to give the appearance that µg picked them out himself. Micro then selects a pair of boxers. Sean must hide Micro's favorite orange plaid pair because µg began to pick them every day, we assume since orange is his favorite color. Micro then watches Daddy get dressed and makes sure that he looks presentable. After that, he's back to harassing me to go downstairs or to allow him to jump on his brother to wake him up ("Where's Liam?" he says, with a devilish grin).

It's not just Daddy's morning routine that µg manages. He tells me how to do everything, including, but certainly not limited to, driving, turning on the faucet, and making his toga at bath time. I think (hope) this is just a phase since he's learning more words everyday and he likes to describe everything. It's his somewhat bossy tone that really makes him µg. His constant use of the word "need" when he means "want" reinforces the image - "I need to play with the pirate ship." "I need more banana." "I need to go outside", and so on, all day long. We're now actively working on using "want".

So, other than micro-managing, what's been happening? Since I'm a fan of gymnastics, I've been needlessly preoccupied with the Chinese gymnasts age controversy. Check out the American hacker's blog - I'm not remotely a computer expert, but it looks to me like there's been cheating. I'm doubting anything will come of it, though. Oh well, life's not fair, but then we all know that.

Off the soapbox, and back to the boys - it's been rainy here for almost two weeks, so we've been stuck inside more often than I'd like. You see, the boys get worn out much easier when they play outside, since it's hot here even when it's cloudy. Therefore, I try to take them outside quite often. One day it was just overcast so I set up their water play table and gave them some watering cans and other toys. Splashmaster Liam (he has nicknames too) went crazy splashing water everywhere and eventually calmed down enough to water the plants and my feet. Graeme was more subdued but still enjoyed himself.

Liam waters the bushes

G-man stalks me with a squirting killer whale

One particularly rainy day, I got out the trampoline which we hadn't used in a couple of months. I used to jump on it with them because they couldn't really coordinate lifting both feet at once. Now they jump around on their own all the time thanks to My Gym and Kindermusik, so I was told by both of them that they would jump alone. When I tried to jump by myself on the trampoline, both Micro and Liam told me to get off and "go over there, Mommy".

And stay off!

Well that's it for now. I've got a few funny situations to write about next, plus I need to download video so I can post the Many Walks of Liam. As they say over here, Cheers!

Helicopters, Airplanes, and Rockets

The boys' bath routine has evolved as they've gotten older. They now go into the master bathroom (the only one of six bathrooms in this house that has a bathtub), take off their own diapers, and sit on their potties to attempt to pee. No, I'm not officially potty training them yet. This step of the routine came to fruition when Liam kept peeing on the bathroom floor as soon as I took his diaper off. For quite a while, only Liam would pee in the potty, but now Graeme is also going almost every night. I think we may be getting closer to starting the real deal in a few weeks.

Anyway, then they take their vitamin. They sometimes then get acetaminophen for their molar pain. After that, the teeth brushing commences. They begin by "brushing" their own teeth, and then I brush their teeth to actually get them clean. One at a time, they stand on the stool, rinse with water, and spit. They just started spitting one week ago after their first visit to the dentist (which was hilarious and went much better than I expected). They are able to spit in the sink most of the time. Sometimes they completely miss and spit straight down, hitting their feet and the stool.

Finally the actual bathing starts with both boys in the tub. Even though I don't put much water in the tub, the boys usually manage to splash so much that the floor gets pretty wet. They particularly enjoy filling up their small rubber ducks with water and trying to squirt each other and me with them. Occasionally we get more attempts at Riverdancing. Somehow I'm able to clean them during all of the commotion.

Before Grandma Ar and Aunt Mar's visit, we did a technique called the Airplane when it was time to get the boys out of the tub. Sean and I would each hold a child in one arm and hold up our other arm in front of us as though we were flying. The boys would wear a hooded towel deemed the "cape" (or "cake" in earlier months), and also hold up one flying arm. Then we would all face the mirror and make a flying noise. After that, drying off would begin.

The routine became more complicated when we saw and heard a helicopter flying one day. That night, the boys decided that they wanted to be helicopters too. Holding one of the boys, I held my arm straight out to the side, made a sound that sort of sounded like helicopter blades while spinning around slowly. Then we "flew" like airplanes again, did the Helicopter with the other arm and opposite turn, and did the Airplane again. The boys loved it.

After our recent visit to the Singapore Air Force Museum, we had another addition to the flying simulations. At the museum, the boys enjoyed looking at a missile which Liam called a rocket because it looks like the rocket in his Things That Go book. The kids also have a toy rocket that counts down to blast off. That night, we added the Rocket to the Helicopter and the Airplane. They hold their hands together over their heads while we count down from 5. After one, we say "blast off!" and jump up in the air while holding the kids. They really love this one.

Graeme and Grandma Ar demonstrate the helicopter

Rockets ready to blast off!

After blast off, we finally dry the boys, then wrap their towels around them like togas. Then we support them as they stand on the counter in front of the mirror and yell "Toga, toga...". Finally, we apply lotion to both boys and eczema cream to Liam, comb their hair, and dress them in their pajamas. Most of the time we'll sing softly during the dressing part to help calm them down.

Toga, Toga, Toga, Togaaaaaaa!

Tonight I did bath time alone since Sean is in Hong Kong, so I have to do the parts separately for each child. I started to forget the Toga and was quickly corrected by Liam. While combing Liam's hair, I said that his hair was getting long, and Liam surprised me by saying, "need a haircut" without me mentioning haircuts. He then said, "spray with water, use scissors". I thought it was pretty smart of him to make the leap from my comment about his long hair to a description of what happens during a haircut.

Up soon - the Many Nicknames of Graeme, the Many Walks of Liam, and more.

Round and Round

Yesterday the boys played a new game after snack time. They had a messy snack of yogurt and watermelon, so they were only wearing diapers. Standing next to the dining room table, Liam began counting, "1, 2, 4, 5!" and then he took off running around the table. Graeme followed with "1, 2, 3, 5!", and he followed Liam (the counting still needs a little work sometimes). After a couple of laps around the table, Graeme yelled "Stop!", and they froze.

Then they counted again, and ran around again a few times. This time Liam stopped and said, "Take a rest", and he laid down on the floor. Graeme followed with his hands flat on the floor, and he rested his forehand on his hands and said, "I sleeping". A few seconds later, they popped up and started running again, giggling the whole time. The entire routine was repeated several times before they were finally tired. During the craziness, I ran and got the camera, so here are a few action pics:

Liam runs around the table

Graeme runs too

Resting

The boys were still in a good mood after running around, so I took some more pictures of them together (which is always a challenge). One of my favorites is now on the blog home page in the right upper corner - check out those huge smiles! Here's another favorite, the Glamour Shot:

Doing the sulky model thing

And finally a "normal" smiling shot:

We're good, we swear!

Today the boys had a rough day. They are clearly missing Grandma and Aunt Mar, and are very whiny. Liam poured out his milk all over the floor at all three meals (oh, the challenges of teaching toddlers to drink politely from regular cups!), and Graeme followed suit tonight at dinner after watching Liam dump his. I was very frustrated with them, but one cute incident occurred which reminded me how sweet they are, even though they misbehave. They were sitting on the bottom "time out" step watching me wipe up the milk when Graeme turned to Liam and said, "Need a hug", and hugged Liam. Then Graeme said, "Thank you". I smiled, and took them upstairs for bath time.

More cuteness: At nap time, Liam pretended to tickle himself while laying in bed and repeated, "Tickle bug" over and over, a phrase he learned during Ar and Mar's visit. In bed tonight, he mentioned Elmo, and I told him that Elmo was tired and wanted to sleep, hoping that Liam would go to sleep too. Liam said, "Elmo sleeps on the fire truck", which I thought was clever since the boys watched "Elmo Visits the Firehouse" today.

I'll do that review of the bath routine in the next entry.

And We're Back

It's me again, after a long, long time. Sean's mom Arlene and her twin sister Marlene are back home after a three week visit with us. We had a great time with "Grandma Ar" and "Aunt Mar". Graeme did indeed go looking for them Sunday morning when it was time to go downstairs for breakfast. Arlene correctly predicted this in her last blog entry.

During their visit, we took a short trip to Phi Phi Island, Thailand. We stayed at a great resort, had fun at the beach and pool, and we were lucky enough to see an example of Earth's astonishing beauty. We rode through a small cove of Phi Phi Lae on a long tail boat, and the limestone cliffs were breathtaking. This picture doesn't begin to do this location justice:




So what else has been happening? After a spring full of plagues (dual mycoplasma infections, HMFD, and a couple of ear infections), June was much better. In July, the boys began cutting their final baby molars, so we've had some sleep disturbances and more whining and crabbiness than usual. They are also currently acting out(aka "showing their rear ends" as I say) since our beloved visitors have left. That said, we've had lots of fun and the boys continue to be hilarious at times. A few highlights from the past few months:

Choo-choo - Since learning to use scarves or hula-hoops to form choo-choo trains in Kindermusik, the boys will use anything of similar length to do the same. Each holds an end of the object and they walk around saying "choo-choo (name of object)". Favorites include Daddy's ties, a flexible tape measure, the hair dryer with its cord, and an extension cord.

Flashing - Liam became known as "The Flash" for a few days because he would wrap his towel around himself after his bath, then quickly whip it open and giggle. I'm going to see if I can find a Flash costume in his size for the American Club's Superhero Party for little boys this fall.

Counting - The boys can now count to ten, though sometimes they drop three and insert a number from the 'teens, like fourteen. Bizarre but funny, because they sound so sure of themselves when they do it.

Singing - Graeme especially likes to sing his ABCs, since we often sing this along with "Twinkle, Twinkle" and "Baa Baa Black Sheep" during bathtime to calm down. He is able to do a few letters in a row by himself, then I help him with a few, then he can continue. Two days ago he sang the opening of the Elmo's World theme song before his nap. Parents of preschoolers, you know what I'm talking about. I'll spare everyone else by not including a link.

Fun with play food - The boys continue to enjoy cooking with their kitchen and pretending to eat the play food. Play food is now much more multicultural than in the 70s, when I had plastic bananas, carrots and similar basic items. Now the sets include sushi and soy sauce, different types of pasta and sauces, more varieties of vegetables, plus Mexican food like burritos, tacos, and tostadas. The boys recently started playing a game during which they push a tiny purple plastic eggplant through the umbrella hole of their toddler-sized picnic table. One child lays underneath the table, and the other sits on the bench and pushes the eggplant to the first child. For some reason, they think this activity is hilarious, and therefore, it is.

Eggplant shenanigans

Fun with real food - The boys can put away a lot of food for tiny people. Grandma Ar and Aunt Mar couldn't believe how much food the little ones can eat. They each ate two adult-sized pieces of pizza recently, and Liam wanted more. They're still eating a good variety of foods, including chinese chicken and spinach noodles, broccoli wagon wheel pasta, and teriyaki chicken and rice. They love yogurt, fruit, cheese, and pretzels for snacks. Junk food has so far been limited to those important fatty foods, ice cream and french fries. They did have their first half-of-a-donut after we stumbled upon a Dunkin Donuts in the Phuket, Thailand airport of all places. Graeme didn't care for his other than licking some icing off the top, but Liam ate his and wanted more, of course. As Sean has said many times in the past, all food belongs to Liam. It must go to his cheeks, because the rest of him is skinny.

Talking - The boys have been talking a lot in the past few months. They just spent three weeks with three great talkers (Ar, Mar, and Sean, I love you guys!), and now the boys talk all day long, Graeme especially. Liam is slightly quieter in general, but when he talks, he tends to tell a long story about the topic. They enjoy describing what they or someone else is doing. This sometimes leads to them issuing commands, like Graeme's "Go that way!" when we're in the car. Their vocabulary is huge and even includes several "big" words like caterpillar, butterfly, oscillate, and parliamentary procedure. I'm only kidding a little about the last one. When they first said butterfly in front of Sean a few weeks ago, he asked them to say parliamentary procedure. They didn't do too well then, but yesterday they both said procedure with no problem. Parliamentary came across as something like "paritorry", but close enough. The most recent new word that mommy and daddy don't care for: Mine! Unfortunately it's used quite often when fighting over a toy.

Enough for now. I have a lot of catching up to do, so next I'll do a review of our new bathtime routine, complete with pictures. It's good to be back!

A Little Distracted - Okay a Lot Distracted

Hey, it can't be all Arlo Guthrie references...

Needless to say, we've been blogless for almost two weeks now and I'm sure our readers (both of you) are wonder where we've wandered off to this time. In a word, Thailand.

In several words, the usual. Work picked up, the kids activities are keeping us busy and my mom and her twin sister came to visit. Today is their 59th birthday (first time) and we're all going to Thailand for five days tomorrow morning to celebrate. More to follow on that.

In any case, the good news is that my mother is blogging her trip here:

http://worldtraveler-grandma.blogspot.com/

So if you want to keep up with us vicariously, here's your ticket.

Tiffany’s Restaurant Massacre

The seeds we plant in our children are sometimes twisted ones, ones that take time to germinate, root, grow and burst from their tiny minds in a tangle of shock and confusion. I know. I stumbled across cultural landmines from my childhood repeatedly in college. Things that my family (my father in particular) had said or done that I thought were just our family weirdness but in fact were a Dennis Miller-esque cultural sub reference. Yes, of course I have an example…

I was a Junior in college minding my own business sitting in my room in the frat house I lived in when my roommate/little brother comes in with our resident hippie brother (every house had one – the pot has to be grown somewhere – I never inhaled). They proceed to the stereo and put on the “song”. I use the quotes because there was a lot more talking than singing and it was a smidge longer that the 3:05 that Billy Joel’s hits are cut down to.

This was not shocking or intimidating to me. My roommate was the same guy who made party tapes with fraternity songs on them at twenty minute intervals to clear the room and bring in a fresh crowd when the “good” music started. His musical eclecticism was well known. I grew up exposed to the singer/songwriter set and my father’s penchant for Harry Chapin meant that I could stomach a seven or eight minute song without too much trouble.

All that said, the song starts up and it’s this guy talking about the song, or the name of the song or the restaurant it’s named after. It was amusing but nothing to really get my attention. When the chorus starts up, I realize this is Alice’s Restaurant. Like the Rocky Horror Picture Show or Meatloaf’s Bat Out of Hell, there are some things everyone encounters in college or did back then. I checked the box on my mental list of things to do before graduation and tuned back out.

About twelve minutes later, I heard something that yanked my attention back to the song. "Kid, I want you to go and sit down on that bench that says Group W .... NOW kid!!" I stopped the tape (yes, this was that long ago) and rewound it. My roommate was confused and asked what the big deal was. I explained that when I was a kid and my brothers and/or I misbehaved that there was a bench in my father’s room that we would have to go sit on. Sometimes he’d even make us hold hands; that was the worst. He called it the “Group W” bench. Here is the original bench as it has been preserved for posterity. It’s far more uncomfortable than it looks. I know. Trust me.

Here’s a list of who sits on the Group W bench according to Arlo Guthrie: “there was all kinds of mean nasty ugly looking people on the bench there. Mother rapers. Father stabbers. Father rapers! Father rapers sitting right there on the bench next to me! And they was mean and nasty and ugly and horrible crime-type guys sitting on the bench next to me.”

Here’s a picture of posterity sitting on the original bench in December 2007. When my father sent this to me he noted that, “the occupants are miniature-sized reproductions.” You will note Liam has his hands up as though he’s been caught in the act, complete with a sheepish look. Graeme, on the other hand, is planning his escape or next shenanigan.

So, it’s time to plant some seeds of our own and see how old our children are before they encounter Arlo Guthrie. Behold the second generation Group W bench in all its teak glory. It’s backless for increased discomfort.


As you can see below, they seem to have forgotten already that sitting on the Group W bench is a punishment.

There Is No Joy in Muddville

It's a little scary the photos that parents can dig out of their archives if you provoke them. This picture came from my father with the quote, "The year you didn't strike out." Mighty Casey I am not...

From left to right, me in all my scrawny glory, my best friend down the street David Bowman, and my brother Matt.

Dance Fever

There's a war being fought in my sons' genetic code. It's not a battle for survival or against some malignant disease, unless you count social leprosy. It's a struggle between their mother's natural gift of rhythm and their father's fundamental whiteness. It's one that I hope her genes win. As Dan Quayle said, "What a terrible thing to have lost one's hipness. Or not to have hipness at all. How true that is." At least I'm sure that's what he meant.

What does it look like when white boys under three feet tall try to lay down the boogie and play that funky music ? No, that's something else. Anyway, here's baby dancing, oh and whining, and a penguin being bashed with a hammer. They're not really related, but they are funny, painful and funny as hell, respectively.

Diaper Baseball

A decade ago Trey Parker and Matt Stone, of South Park fame, created a horrible movie called BASEketball. We'll forgive them as this was clearly a warm up for the brilliant satire that became Team America, but I digress.

My sons have invented Diaperball. This involves taking off all your clothes except your diaper and hitting a wiffel ball off a plastic tee with the wrong end of the bat. I hope this never becomes a professional sport, but you can make your own judgement call. Their diapers aren't all that much worse that the short-shorts NBA players wore in the 80's.

Now, before you watch this I must warn you about a couple of things. First, we're still working on our videography, so no complaining if one minute there's a chair blocking your view, the next you have a great look at the kids and then you're spinning and staring at pavement. You will note that I am headless through most of the video. Mommy is focused on her littler boys. Anyone who wants to shoot video for us is welcome to come on over - then you may critique at your leisure.

Second, it's hard to tell sometimes, but I am joking about the boys' performance. I have no expectation that they will be professional baseball players or even adequate little leaguers (although their father did bat .800 his last year). I don't think I'll ever be one of those psychotic push-them-to-be-star-athletes-parents. If I disappoint us all and do become one, you will be able to say you saw it coming on video back in 2008.

Other than that, Tiffany's voice over sets this up for you.

NOTE: I'm having trouble balancing file size limits, video length and download quality when mixing from our video camera. Somebody let me know if this is incredibly painful to download or the quality stinks. The file is pretty huge by upload standards, but you're getting three minutes of crazy for your money.

Some Words from Our Sponsors

Okay, this one may be lost on those of you that don’t have to live over here, but I have to share some of the language challenges that we encounter. I’m going to tie this back to the boys by saying that Tiffany has had to ask both our helpers not to use certain phrases as we’d prefer the boys not adopt them. That said, some of these are primarily work-related.

Lah – as in, “Twins, lah?” It doesn’t really mean anything. Singaporeans us it for emphasis or just use it.
Can – yes, a trailing lah is standard.
Can not – no.
Don’t want? – You don’t want this?
Aircon – Air conditioning
Giddy - dizzy
Carpark - parking lot/deck
Lorrie - truck
Leave(s) – vacation
Mails – mail
Works – road work/construction
Table (object at work) – desk
Concall – Conference call
Table (verb) - to bring up for discussion. The opposite of its U.S. business meaning
Revert - reply
Lift – elevator
Boot – trunk

This last one led to one of the funnier bumper stickers we’ve seen in Singapore, “Ex-husband in Boot.”

On another note, it seems that the video worked and was well received, so I’ll be trying to put some additional cuts up over the weekend.

A Smattering of Reality

It’s an odd stage in the boys’ development. There are things they do that drive us completely crazy, but there are things that they used to struggle with that they have mastered. It’s a fine line between pushing them to new skills to make everyone’s life easy and starting to have conversations that start with, “Remember when they couldn’t…”

Examples? You want examples? Of course you do.

When we moved to Singapore life was time bound. The rules were simple. The boys got up around 7 am, got fed, and were good until about 9:30 or 10 am. Then they went down for a nap, got up after an hour to an hour and a half, had lunch and were good until 1 or 1:30 pm. Then they would nap again until around3 pm, be up for a couple of hours, have dinner, bath and bed by 7 pm. They couldn’t feed themselves, couldn’t walk, couldn’t talk, didn’t know what a potty was and didn’t like disruptions to their schedule.

Oh, you could take them out between 7 am and 10 am, but miss the start of that nap and suffer the consequences: the whining, crying, pre-tantrum consequences. Not to mention the fallout for the rest of the day because they got off track: more whining, crying and pre-tantrums. We found out the hard way in a Pizza Hut in Plaza Singapura last May. We put them in high chairs and bibs, pulled out their bottles and baby food jars and began to attempt dinner. It was too late in the day. Less than thirty minutes later, the only thing in a five foot radius that wasn’t covered in a thin layer of milk and Gerber 3s was the inside of their stomachs. This was one of those occasions when they began to melt down and we just pulled them out before they began to affect those around us (except for the milk shower and free Gerber topping on their pizza).

Today is different. They’re down to one nap, they walk, they talk (on their terms), and they’re more flexible (in their own way). A typical day is wake up between 6 am and 7 am. This is what I call the red zone. If they sleep until 7 am all is well; if they’re up at 6 am then mommy and at least one of them (Liam) will be grumpy for at least part of the day. Mommy contains them upstairs until 7 am regardless and then they go downstairs for breakfast. Then we play or have class (Kindermusik or MyGym) or go to play group. Come home for lunch around 11 am (or fall asleep in the car if we’re tired or running late) and then nap for an hour or two. They get up around 2 pm and then dinner around 6 pm (or earlier if we’re grumpy) and then bath and bed around 7 pm. Now, bed and asleep are two different issues as mentioned in other entries.

What’s a meal like for comparison? Well, to start with, they feed themselves. They use forks and spoons (and hands). Our biggest challenge is either getting them to eat if they’re being finicky or getting them to slow down if they’re not. It reminds me of when my father used to jokingly call one of my brothers “Garbage Jeff” because of his adolescent eating habits. Jeff had puberty for an excuse. Liam’s just a bizarre combination of goat and trash compactor (I’ll let you decide which side gave him which genes).

Since he was an infant, we have joked that all food belongs to Liam. I had this realization when he was about six months old. He was laying on our floor in the den in Atlanta and I was sitting down on the couch to eat some pizza I had just heated up. Liam hated lying on the floor on his tummy and wasn’t a big fan of rolling, but he rolled onto his tummy pushed up and arched his back so he could see what I was doing. The look on his face as he watched me eat was hilarious. It seemed to say “Hey! Wait! What’s that? Wait, you’re EATING that. You have food of your own? You’ve been holding out on me.”

Today things aren’t too different. You cannot eat pizza in front of them and expect Liam to eat anything else. Liam, “Pizza, pizza. PIZZA!!!;” Graeme catching on, “I eat a pizza. Graeme eat a pizza.” Tragically this applies to anything that is triangular, so mommy’s quesadilla was branded pizza. Its self-esteem has never recovered. Another challenge with pizza (or quesadillas) is getting the boys to eat them properly. Apparently biting a hole in the middle is both challenging and entertaining. Meals are sometimes a chorus of, “Bite the pointy end.” To which Graeme uses one of his stock phrases combined with his ability to repeat anything (and yes there are funny stories on that, but I have been censored by the guilty party) “I bite a pointy end.”

The newest mealtime trick is drinking from cups without lids or straws. It’s been less than a week, but they’re actually doing quite well. Tiffany has to meter the volume. Pour a little, they drink a little. Pour a lot, it’s bath time. Funny thing, when they’re thirsty there’s not a lot of fooling around. We do have to keep them from dropping food into the cup and fishing it out again.

Other meal time fun: Liam likes to put his hand on the table and push his chair back on two legs. As his mother and I react, he yells, “NO!” at himself before we can, with a big grin on his face. Once meals are done, Tiffany has the boys clearing the table by carrying their plates, cups and bibs (one at a time) into the kitchen to our helper. Occasionally, someone gets lost on the way back to the table and ends up standing next to the large painting (Red Square, by Ford Smith) on the dining room wall. Here he (usually Graeme) waits with a devilish grin on his face until we notice. Despite previous warnings, he then pushes the lower corner of the painting as hard as he can and runs for the stairs. Why the stairs? Because he’s going on the naughty step, where he will recite, “I sorry. I sorry painting.” After correction, “I sorry mommy/daddy.” It’s a different world from last year.

Commitment and Something New - VIDEO

A business mentor of mine once taught me that breakfast is a great example of commitment versus involvement. Chickens are involved (eggs), but pigs are commited (bacon, ham). What they have on the line (the infamous "skin in the game", can someone look up the origin of that phrase?) always struck me as a great bench mark of what to expect from people.

In the following clip, Graeme demonstrates that lunchtime too can be a great time to demonstrate commitment. Particularly if you a committed to taking a nap.

This my first shot at adding video, so someone comment and let me know if it works.

NOTE: Tiffany is not insane she is talking to the other child who is very awake.

Winners and Losers

I had the following exchange in email today with another father of a son around the same age as ours who will remain nameless to protect his offspring. I am certain that no matter how gross or bad anyone's story is, someone else has another one to top it.


Him: "Today's lesson: Just because it looks like a raisin doesn't mean it is a raisin. It may, in fact, be a dead fly. To his credit, he had the most horrified look on his face when he realized his mistake. I'm sure this will be repeated several more times before it sinks in. And what do your boys like for snacks?"

Me: "The phrase amateur proctology strikes more fear into me now than it ever did in college."

To be fair this is not an eating thing, it's a touching of his butt during diaper change and then reaching for his mouth as his mother or I dive to stop him. Then he says "Gross!" or "Yucky!" with a triumphant smile on his face, since that's what mommy says when he does this. Rinse and repeat.

Him: "Oh god. You win." Pause a few minutes before the next message.

Him: "Or lose, as the case may be."

Me: "At least it's self investigation and not brotherly service."


Always looking on the bright side. As I've said before, they're allowed to be gay, just not with each other.

Those weren't the droids I was looking for...?

So, perhaps dressing Liam and Graeme as Yoda and Darth Vader for Dragon*Con a couple of years ago wasn't as random as it might seem.

Our sons have developed Jedi mind trick powers. I suspect they've been doing this for some time, but when I watched the following exchanges in succession I realized that we've probably been had before.

As I mentioned in an earlier post (actually it may be a later post depending on the order I get the pictures uploaded, but there's more in queue after being offline most of June) Tiffany is teaching them to drink from cups without lids or straws. This involves her metering out milk from a third cup into their cup in manageable doses (read limited area of effect weapons). When Graeme finished the following exhcange ocurred.

Graeme, insistent, "More! More!"

Tiffany, patient, "More what?"

Graeme, insistent, thrusting cup at his mother, "More! More!"

Tiffany still patient, "Can you say, 'milk?'"

Graeme, insistent/quizical, "More! More!"

Tiffany losing confidence in this excercise, "Please. Say more milk please."

Graeme, smug, "Okay."

Tiffany, pouring, "More milk please."

Graeme, very smug, "Okay."

Hey, he's only two and we're working on a new skill. This was quickly followed by:

Liam, sing-song looking at his brother, "Kacker, kacker, kacker."

Me, "Kacker?"

Tiffany, "Cracker."

Liam, insistent, "Kacker, kacker."

Tiffany confused, as there are no crackers on the table, in sight or part of the prior discussion, "What about a cracker?" I figure he's looking at his brother and he might be a little young for racial slurs, but the boy is PASTY white so fair call.

Liam, insistent and rocking in his seat excitedly, "Kacker, kacker."

Tiffany, confused, "You want a cracker?" This was not an offer it was an inquiry.

Liam, triumphant, "Okay!"

Tiffany exasperated, "No, we are not having crackers. We have casserole."

Sean, "I think we've been had."

Then a series of hilarious attempts to pronounce casserole broke out.

A Many Splendored Thingy

So, I’ve been traveling again, work’s been crazy, and the boys are cutting their two year molars. The most accurate term to describe the last few weeks is blast radius. Unfortunately, I’m starting to get the sense that it’s going to be like this until 2025 or I get a lobotomy. I always found my friends with children funny when they tried to use kids as their explanation/excuse for everything they didn’t get to. I mean, it’s not like no one else has ever had children. People have had children for thousands of years, they just didn’t have lives at the same time. Now I know.

[The following is a subliminal message to my friend Shy who claims to read the blog: send me a recent photo, I have a new coworker out here that could be a good match for you. She’s from Atlanta, so my plot to bring you home continues. Hair boy.]

That was my way of explaining why we haven’t had any new posts. Tiffany’s way of explaining is that it “takes too long.” Which is her way of saying that she hasn’t yet managed to sandwich it in between managing the boys and… well she really doesn’t need any more than that, but there is a long list. They are sleeping through the night again, mostly, and have gotten into a routine of falling asleep fairly reliably, except for last night. More about that in a minute. Three quick (I think) stories:

ONE – Who’s your digga?

Current fascinations include airplanes (still), cranes (new), and “diggers” (FAVORITE). Driving around Singapore we’ve now gone from yelling “BUS!!” and “DECKA BUS!!!” that’s a double decker bus to you and me, to digger hunting. Now, I’m under the impression that the “digger” is actually called a backhoe (The one time I said this Tiffany slapped me, so I’m not sure what she thought I meant. I think she knows less about excavation than I do.), but the boys call it a digger and I’ve learned not to push their vocabulary since the “parliamentary procedure” incident.

Now Singapore is a city under construction EVERYWHERE, so it’s a digger rich environment. We drive from place to place with the boys digger hunting. It sounds something like this.

Liam, “Where’s a digger, where’s a digger.” It’s Liam. Nothing can be said once.

Graeme, spotting his quarry, exclaims “DIGGA” and waves a fist pointing.

Shouts of “digger/digga” continue until we lose sight.

Liam, “Mo, more digger? Mo more digger?” Wait a decent interval and switch to the other question.

TWO – Or lose it!

Context is a powerful thing. When your children go from just saying words to saying them at the right time based on external events, it’s a bit shocking. When they use your wife’s diction and inflection, it’s hilarious. This is another driving story.

Graeme hates for the car to be stopped. He’s two. He points through the front windshield and whines, “gooooooooowwwww…” as though he were the last man out of Abu Ghraib. Under most circumstances we can accommodate him, but red lights are a pesky thing. Tiffany has taught him that we have to stop when we see the red lights and although he doesn’t like it he has accepted it. Through the weeks, he’s taken to yelling “Geen” at them and more recently “Geen go.” To which I usually reply, “Senor, I am not a gringo.”

The funniest though was a couple of weeks ago when we were pulling away as a light turned green. A car on a side street pulled out in front of me to which prompted me to ask, “What are you doing?” I don’t know if it was the frustration in my voice or the fact that we slowed down, but Graeme chimed right in behind me, “Come on, buddy. You move it!” We about died.

THREE – Let me count the ways

So we found these Duplo Diggers at Toys R Us and we had to buy them. They were expensive, but since certain grandmothers have purchased every other toy ever made I figured why deprive them of this one. I put them together Wednesday night, but Tiffany waited until I got home Thursday to give them to the boys. They loved them. We video taped.

An hour later when dinner time came you would have thought we were amputating their hands and feet from all the screaming and crying. It took forever to get Liam upstairs to wash his hands. He had a complete melt down that didn’t stop until he realized that someone had put a bowl full of spaghetti in front of him (there are odd parallels between our former dog Zoe and my sons). The rest of dinner, bath time and bed preparation went without incident and I thought we had escaped any further digger fall out.

Once the boys were in bed, I realized this was going to be an unusual night. Graeme was not settling down and falling asleep quickly like he usually does. Liam wasn’t getting out of bed as usual, but he did start his verbal inventory. I kept one ear on him for humor and I repeatedly settled Graeme back down. Liam didn’t disappoint.

Tiffany has been teaching them to say “I love you.” I love you mommy. I love you daddy. I love you Graeme (said by Liam). I love you Liam (said by Graeme). I love, " I love you Elmo".

That was not the one I heard at bed time though, well, not the last one. I put Graeme back on the bed, and looked up in time to see Liam with Elmo across his head and hear, “I love Elmo.” And then, “love the digger.” He fell asleep seconds later in record time. Graeme was up for another half hour.

To Sleep Perchance to Dream

I’ve been home for almost two solid weeks and that has dictated some changes in routine around the house. I used to help with bath time and tucking them in before leaving Tiffany to take over and manage the process of putting the boys back in bed repeatedly until they fell asleep. This process was taking anywhere from thirty minutes on a good night to an hour and a half when the boys felt like partying.

It’s kind of a frustrating process. They get up; you lay them down and cover them with a blanket. Rinse and then repeat, and repeat, and repeat. Per the Super Nanny method, after the first two times we say nothing and don’t make eye contact.

Combine this every night for a week or two with our wake up call, usually between 6 and 6:30 am, and some bizarre middle of the nigth screams and wake ups, and it makes for a very tired mommy with little time to do the things she wants or needs to around the house. So, I bravely volunteered to take bedtime duty. I have learned some very important things in the process:

1. The most time I’ve ever spent putting them down is 30 minutes. Apparently, I have not paid the required cover charge and as such do not get the special floor show that is presented for mommy. I’m not sure if I’m thankful or hurt. Mommy isn’t sure if she feels special or irritated.

2. Graeme has the sleep gene. He’s out in ten minutes, regardless of what his brother is doing.

3. Liam has the talk gene. He inventories his entire vocabulary and the day’s activities before finally screaming “mommy, mommy” and falling asleep. This has happened most nights for the week I’ve been putting them down.

Phrases I’ve heard during Liam’s routine:

“Bye-bye mommy, bye-bye Elmo, bye-bye daddy, bye-bye garbage truck.” At least I know where I stand. Somewhere between a three foot stuffed monster and the local sanitation team.

“Where’s the mommy, where’s the mommy, where’s the mommy…” Rinse and repeat.

“Mommy’s a sleepin’, mommy’s a sleepin’, mommy’s asleepin’.” This led to some controversy as I thought it was a great answer to Liam’s earlier question. Apparently mommy has used similar psychology and told them that they have to go to sleep because she can’t go to sleep until they do. Lesson learned early, coordinate your lies.

I can’t really explain this last one, but it happened two nights in a row. The first time I wasn’t sure I heard him right, but the next night I went and got his mother when it started and she has confirmed my translation.

“Elmo’s itchy butt.” I think he's just randomly putting together words he knows since there was a similar comment about mommy, but I was banned from blogging about that one.

On with the Potty Count...

Well, Liam is six for seven the past week using the mini potty before bath time. He's very pleased with himself because we let him flush it. He's appears to be preparing for an NFL career as he is perfecting his touch down dance. The only real problem is that his end zone celebration involves crouching and pointing excitedly to his handy work. He tries to get as close as he can when he points, up to and including splashing in it. This has only happened once so far, but needless to say Mommy and I are now on our guard.

We haven't seemed to find a similar window of opportunity with Graeme. We suspect he's taking care of business durning dinner time and unprepared to contribute further at bath time. Neither of them is really telling us when they need to go, so they're not ready for actual potty training yet, but getting them into the routine at this point probably isn't a bad idea.

Shake, Rattle and Roll…

Several people have asked, so I’m letting everyone know that the earthquake in central China was not felt in Singapore. I know it looks close on a map, but the flying time from Singapore to Hong Kong is about three and a half hours, so imagine people in Atlanta trying to feel an earthquake in Salt Lake City. No chance. No impact in our house. No aftershocks.

So we converted the cribs to toddler beds when Liam decided to try sky diving over the top rail (his mother caught him mid-air). The matching toddler bed rails we bought and brought to Singapore with us were the wrong model. Tiffany bought portable bed rails.

These were not designed with crib mattresses or my sons in mind. The weight of the mattress is what holds the rail in place, IF the child is laying on the mattress. The rail becomes quite mobile when the child bucks his hips and drives both heels into the rail while in mid air (Liam). It also moves easily when the child is jumping up and down on the mattress while holding on to the remaining full sized crib rail (Graeme). Tiffany gave up when they tried to ride "choo-choo rail" (more about choo-choo variants when Tiffany finally blogs) by sitting on them and managed to fall out of the bed with the rail underneath them and the mattress landing on top. No one was injured; no one under three feet tall anyway.

We now have cool Dr. Seuss looking furniture from the IKEA Mamut series.

This should last the boys until we return to the US. Keeping them in the these beds (and frankly the converted cribs with a rail) is a matter of either standing in a corner of the room and putting them back in bed every time the get out or begin "shenanigans," or standing just outside the cracked door and peering through the gap and doing the same thing. This process used to take an hour or two. Now it’s getting down to ten to fifteen minutes for Graeme and half an hour before Liam gives up. Mommy deserves a medal (another one).

They are smart and have learned what combinations of their limited vocabulary will be ignored and which will result in attention. Winners include:

1. “Poop, poop, poop.” This was not a bluff the last two nights.
2. “Dink uh wadder, dink uh wadder.” This is an old standby and almost always a fake.
3. “Huts, mouff huts,” alternately “hed hutts” this is accompanied by rubbing the appropriate body part. Cause and effect are at issue here. Of course your head hurts you were just banging it against the headboard.
4. “Medisen, medisen.” This is a hold over from their teething and recent illnesses, sometimes their like little crack addicts.
5. “Boogas, wear da boogas?” Oddly the answer to this is not in your nose. Liam is struggling with the “k” in books. He also is unwilling to allow for the possibility of a lone book, it is always “boogas” plural.

The other fun trick is that when they wake up in the middle of the night there is now nothing to stop them from getting out of bed and coming to visit, whine, demand vodka water, or a fresh diaper. Since the toddler beds arrived each night has brought a different permutation of this at about 4 am, with Graeme getting put back down falling dead asleep and then springing awake like some electrified puppet five minutes later and repeating the cycle. Last night though, was different. I heard a squeak at about 3:30 that sounded like someone being restless. So I went to look and head off the intruder before he could wake his mother and get us both in trouble.

As I cracked the door I realized that our Ikea purchases were a waste of money. Both toddler beds stood empty. The comforters and pillows were on the floor next to them (crash mats for sleeping rolls) were also unoccupied. May be it was an aftershock from the China earthquake, but Liam was two feet from his bed asleep on the bare floor and Graeme was three feet from his asleep on the rug. I’ll probably get some grandma scolding for this, but I left them alone (I was too tired to take a picture and I know I’ll get grandpa scolding for that). Putting them back in bed would only have been an invitation for them to wake up. Besides, they came and saw us on their own three hours later. I always thought the phrase pitter patter of little feet was cute… not so much.

It Happened ONE Night

Based on the earlier post, you can imagine we’ve been reading lots of potty training books. Yes this is going to be one of those posts; those not interested can link out here or here (if you’re looking for Gable and Colbert).

Reading lots of books and sitting on the portable mini potties. At bath time on Thursday (which was Labor Day national holiday in Singapore) we were stripping the lads down and wiping them off, when I noticed Liam head for his special corner and turn his back. He then looked down and stuck his hips forward, and I screamed “get the potty.” The hilarity of tripping, fumbling, falling and shouting that followed defies words, but suffice it to say that it was enough to create a shy bladder for Liam.

In any case, we got him naked and then let him sit down before proceeding to torture brush his brother’s teeth. I was running the bath water and Tiffany was brushing teeth when I glanced over at Liam, who was grinning like a fool. I raised a skeptical eyebrow and then spotted the little yellow puddle in the potty beneath him. I was so shocked that it took me a minute to say, “Honey, he did it.” She was so shocked it took another minute for her to understand what I was saying. Once she did, our immediate focus became getting him to stop reaching into to bowl and investigating what he had done.

After the applause stopped Liam looked so startled that I was afraid he might never do it again. So far I’ve been right.