To Sleep Perchance to Dream

I’ve been home for almost two solid weeks and that has dictated some changes in routine around the house. I used to help with bath time and tucking them in before leaving Tiffany to take over and manage the process of putting the boys back in bed repeatedly until they fell asleep. This process was taking anywhere from thirty minutes on a good night to an hour and a half when the boys felt like partying.

It’s kind of a frustrating process. They get up; you lay them down and cover them with a blanket. Rinse and then repeat, and repeat, and repeat. Per the Super Nanny method, after the first two times we say nothing and don’t make eye contact.

Combine this every night for a week or two with our wake up call, usually between 6 and 6:30 am, and some bizarre middle of the nigth screams and wake ups, and it makes for a very tired mommy with little time to do the things she wants or needs to around the house. So, I bravely volunteered to take bedtime duty. I have learned some very important things in the process:

1. The most time I’ve ever spent putting them down is 30 minutes. Apparently, I have not paid the required cover charge and as such do not get the special floor show that is presented for mommy. I’m not sure if I’m thankful or hurt. Mommy isn’t sure if she feels special or irritated.

2. Graeme has the sleep gene. He’s out in ten minutes, regardless of what his brother is doing.

3. Liam has the talk gene. He inventories his entire vocabulary and the day’s activities before finally screaming “mommy, mommy” and falling asleep. This has happened most nights for the week I’ve been putting them down.

Phrases I’ve heard during Liam’s routine:

“Bye-bye mommy, bye-bye Elmo, bye-bye daddy, bye-bye garbage truck.” At least I know where I stand. Somewhere between a three foot stuffed monster and the local sanitation team.

“Where’s the mommy, where’s the mommy, where’s the mommy…” Rinse and repeat.

“Mommy’s a sleepin’, mommy’s a sleepin’, mommy’s asleepin’.” This led to some controversy as I thought it was a great answer to Liam’s earlier question. Apparently mommy has used similar psychology and told them that they have to go to sleep because she can’t go to sleep until they do. Lesson learned early, coordinate your lies.

I can’t really explain this last one, but it happened two nights in a row. The first time I wasn’t sure I heard him right, but the next night I went and got his mother when it started and she has confirmed my translation.

“Elmo’s itchy butt.” I think he's just randomly putting together words he knows since there was a similar comment about mommy, but I was banned from blogging about that one.